


ANEW

by Moreorlez



Category: Orphan Black (TV), cophine
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-04-13 14:58:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 44,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4526469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moreorlez/pseuds/Moreorlez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where nothing is what it seems to be. Start anew is your only choice. My own take of Orphan Black after season 3. COPHINE<br/>Cosima finds out who shot Delphine, what will she do? Where has Marion been? is there more to know about Delphine and Shay?<br/>*DELPHINE IS ALIVE!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nuisance

**Author's Note:**

> My second attempt of an OB/ Cophine fanfic . A mix of action, drama, chaos and romance. Starts with a crazy ride so I hope you all like it. Suggestions, comments and rants are welcome.

They all wait in relative calm for Sarah to arrive at their new headquarters facilitated by Art. Just some hours ago Sarah let them know that Marion made contact with her after so long and informed her there was a package she needed to retrieve. 

 

Alison walks around the place talking on the phone with Donnie.

 

Helena is happily cradling her baby and making funny faces to elicit the beautiful sounds of baby laughter. 

 

Felix for his part tries in vain to engage Cosima in animated conversation. He even did a little science research to at least have something that would catch the woman’s attention, but as usual it proved to be  
useless. 

 

Cosima hasn’t been the same since Delphine died. She’s actually just a shadow of what she used to be, like she was dead too. If it wasn’t for the fact that her sisters needed her to complete the treatment for the clone disease, and try to get rid of the neolutionists she would’ve let herself go, because quite frankly she is not interested in living in a world where there is no Delphine. Not even Shay and her eternal patience could be enough this time, actually she avoided the short blonde as much as possible. Cosima knew it wasn’t fair, but just watching her face reminded her of all the things she did out of anger towards Delphine, and in the stupid selfish way of hurting her for the decision she made in leaving her; it reminded her that she didn’t trust her when she should have. It was all too much. After she told everything about the clone stuff to Shay, she asked her to give her time that she couldn’t be with her right now… and maybe not ever. Still, Shay appeared at Felix's loft from time to time to check on her, but that was it. 

 

So there was Cosima, surviving. Not really caring about anything that was going on around her, she was there for her sisters; she had to remind herself of that every day when getting up each morning. 

 

Fifteen minutes later Sarah finally arrives with Siobhan in tow. She doesn’t greet anyone, she goes straight to business, letting the box she’s carrying fall on the table with a thud. 

 

“All right, let’s see what we got” 

 

Alison, Siobhan, Felix and Sarah immediately grab whatever they can among the files, pictures and objects inside the box. Cosima and Helena observe them closely. 

 

“What did Marion say?” Felix asks while he scans pages in a file. 

 

“Uh, she said we’ll meet later, that she needs to sort something out first” 

 

Felix nods still eyeing the papers. When he lands in formulas and weird graphics he passes the file to Cosima. 

 

“This is neolution shit” Cosima mutters after brief examination “these people are crazy” She lets out in disbelief. At least something interesting that could be useful and keep her entertained for a while. 

 

With almost all the stuff inside the box being reviewed, Sarah remembers the small flash drive in her pocket. Marion gave it to her indicating to watch it privately and discuss it only with her when they saw each other again. Sarah, taking advantage of everyone’s distraction, takes the laptop and moves it to the side of the big table, immediately connecting the device.

 

Among all the files displayed, the one titled ‘Surveillance’ catches her attention, she opens it, and the contents show a list of videos. Sarah carefully reads each name in the video files; until a voice behind her startles her.

 

“Parking lot?” 

 

Sarah turns around finding Cosima staring at the screen. 

 

“Open it” Cosima demands forcefully. 

 

“Cos, wait I don’t…”

 

“I said open it!” Cosima pushes Sarah away from the laptop aggressively, double clicking on the video file with trembling fingers. 

 

By the time the video starts showing images, all of them are surrounding Cosima to get a better view. Sarah doesn’t react, still stunned by her sister’s response. 

 

Cosima’s heart is hammering in her chest, at the vision of the woman she loves walking to her death sentence. She knows what is going to happen and how, but what makes her strong enough to put up with that horrible image is the idea of knowing who did it. 

 

The once silent space becomes suddenly filled with gasps and expressions of surprise as everybody takes in the person behind Delphine. 

 

“No, no…” Cosima barely lets out incredulously. 

 

Nobody speaks as the video shows Delphine stopping, placing her purse down on the garage floor and turning around, to face her shooter. 

 

The light from the shot was clear, showing the exact moment the bullet hit Delphine. 

 

Cosima jumps like she’s the one who was shot and stumbles back, holding onto her side. Her head starts spinning, and her vision becomes blurry. 

 

“Cosima!” Alison screams as she grabs her sister who is losing her balance. 

 

Felix joins her in holding onto Cosima. “Love, calm down, breath” 

 

“It can’t be… she… that can’t…” Cosima mumbles incoherently 

 

“Cos, look at me,” Sarah grabs her face “we are here with you, everything is gonna be OK” she tries to sound reassuring. 

 

Cosima’s eyes aren’t focusing on anything; she’s not listening anymore. Images of Delphine falling to the floor and the shooter coldly turning around and leaving are the only things repeating in her mind over and over. One name escapes her lips before everything goes blank. 

 

“Shay…”


	2. Acrimony

Cosima regains consciousness into a fit of screaming voices.

 

“She clearly told you to see it privately Sarah, what were you thinking!” Siobhan’s voice resonates with evident anger. 

 

“I’m sorry mum I didn’t…”

 

“Yeah you didn’t!” 

 

Felix who a few minutes ago was cool and calm, is now a whole mess of emotions. He has his arm around his torso, one hand covering his mouth, doing his best not to start crying. “I can’t believe I caused this, I was the one who pushed her to date with that bloody app and…” 

 

“Hey it’s not your fault Felix,” Alison rubs her hand over his back “She would’ve made contact with Cosima one way or another” Her voice is firm and confident “If not the app maybe a casual encounter or whatever. She was clearly on a mission; not you or anyone could have prevented it from happening.”

 

“Yeah maybe you’re right but perhaps in any other situation we could’ve been more prepared, we could’ve seen through the lies” Felix voice quivers “And maybe Delphine wouldn’t be…” he can’t complete the sentence as a sob escapes from within his chest. 

 

“Oh Felix” Alison hugs her friend trying to keep her own emotions at bay. 

 

As Cosima opens her eyes she realizes she’s on Helena’s lap, on the floor. Her sister is holding her tight, caressing her head lovingly. Cosima opens her mouth to speak but is immediately stopped by Helena. 

 

“shhh” Helena puts a finger on Cosima’s lips. “I got you seestra, I take care of you” 

 

Cosima’s lips tremble, feeling safe for the first time after so long. She closes her eyes allowing herself to be held and caressed. 

 

All this time she thought that seeing Delphine’s lifeless body and realizing she wouldn’t be with her again was the only time she would ever experience a feeling like this. Right at this moment all that pain and suffocating agony was flowing back deep inside her soul. But there was a difference, for now she knew who was responsible for taking her love away. The killer had a name and she wasn’t about to forget it. 

 

Suddenly the cries of Helena’s baby interrupt the discussion and noises. 

 

Sarah turns to face Helena and Cosima on the floor. 

 

Helena seems torn between attending to her child and staying with Cosima but instantly seems to make a decision. She stares at Sarah who immediately gets the silent message and takes her place on the floor now holding Cosima. 

 

The argument continues for a while longer filled with theories, regrets and questions. 

 

“Do these help us at all to get the neolutionists or what?” Alison enquires pointing at the contents of the box now spread around the table. 

 

“I’m not sure, we’ll just have to wait for Marion to explain all of this shite and what we can do about it” Sarah responds still holding Cosima. 

 

“After all this time I’m fairly sure she’s got good stuff” Siobhan comments with certainty. 

 

From the other side of the room a recently collected Felix intervenes “And what about now? Are we gonna do something about…” He waves his hand toward the laptop with a cringe, obviously referring to the video “… that?”

 

Sarah lets out an audible exasperated sigh before answering “I think we should pay her a visit”

 

Siobhan nods “We can see how much she knows” 

 

Then surprising everyone, Cosima detaches from Sarah’s hold and stands up abruptly. 

 

“No, I got this, I’ll take care of her” Cosima exclaims looking like she’s getting her bearings.

 

“What! No! You’re not going anywhere!” Sarah interjects rising from the floor. 

 

“Love, you’re in no condition to…”

 

“I don’t recall asking anyone’s permission, I’ll deal with her and that’s it” Cosima yells searching around for something “I need a gun”

 

“Oh God!” Felix exclaims with horror thinking Cosima has lost her mind. 

 

Sarah moves forward pulling at Cosima’s arm “I’m not giving you a bloody gun Cos” 

 

Cosima scoffs “I’m not gonna…” she stops mid-sentence, feeling bile in her throat, unable to say the word ‘shoot’. She swallows the sudden unwelcome sensation and continues “She was in the military, I just want protection” 

 

“I can go with you” Sarah offers realizing that stopping her sister is not an option. 

 

Cosima snatches her arm from Sarah’s grasp and looks around again. She eyes Alison’s bag and moves toward it. When she’s near, she opens the bag and removes the gun from it.

 

Alison gasps covering her mouth with her right hand, wanting to say something but nothing comes out. 

 

“Helena!” Cosima calls now retrieving Alison's car keys.

 

“Yes seestra?”

 

“You’re coming with me!”

 

Helena automatically gets up from her chair, next to the baby’s playpen still holding her kid. She walks toward Siobhan and hands her the child.

 

“You take care of baby” 

 

The older woman takes the baby from her arms carefully with a sigh. 

 

Helena moves around the room gathering different stuff and putting them into her coat pockets. 

 

“You’re not seriously letting her do this are you? She’s not thinking clearly you have to do something” Felix whispers standing close to Sarah. 

 

Sarah exhales loudly running both hands in her hair without saying one word. 

 

Grabbing her bag Cosima turns in Helena’s direction “ready?” 

 

“Yes, ready” Helena starts walking, stopping briefly to kiss her kid’s forehead. When she’s next to Cosima, she takes the gun Cosima was about to put into her red coat pocket “I carry this” She says softly coaxing Cosima to let it go. 

 

Cosima nods slowly and hands the weapon over without a fight. She then clears her throat and addresses the other people in the room “We won’t be long, just wait here” and with that said she marches to the door.

 

Helena follows her closely. When she passes near Sarah she puts a hand on her shoulder “don’t worry seestra, I will protect her” 

 

Her twin only swallows, nodding with hesitation. 

 

“Be…safe” Alison lets out weakly before both women cross the exit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "thoughts?"


	3. Retaliation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the reason for the warning in this fic. Enjoy and comment.

Now in front of Shay’s apartment door, Cosima tries to keep her rage on hold. She feels disgusted just thinking that she slept with the woman who killed Delphine; it doesn’t make any sense, nothing does at this point. Cosima just wants to be able to look somewhat neutral when she faces Shay, at least until she’s inside; then she can unleash all her fury. With that thought in mind, she finally knocks. 

 

Only seconds later –which for Cosima felt like an eternity- Shay opens the door. 

 

“Cosima!” She’s visibly astonished but excited to see the brunette. 

 

“Hey” Cosima manages a sly –fake- smile to grace her face.

 

Shay stares at her with a brow lifted, she senses something in Cosima’s demeanor, either way she moves to the side to let her in.

 

“What a surprise, come… come in” 

 

Cosima takes two steady steps inside “I brought Helena with me, I hope you don’t mind” the tone in her voice is strange; it doesn’t go unnoticed by the blonde. 

 

“Uh…”

 

Helena crosses the threshold, taking in her surroundings instantly. She then gazes at Shay with a sinister smirk “Hello Shay Davydov, nice to see you again”

 

It’s at that very moment when Shay realizes something is wrong, very wrong. 

 

“What’s going on?” She asks switching her eyes from Cosima, to Helena while taking long steps backwards. 

 

“Nothing is going on; we’re here to talk” Cosima leaves her bag carefully on the couch “well, unless you’re not willing to co-operate. Then maybe something could go on” she adds with evident sarcasm.

 

Helena watches as Shay’s back hits a small table and how she reaches blindly for what looks like a drawer. 

 

On instinct Helena takes a lock from her pocket and throws it at Shay’s hand. 

 

The sudden cry the petite blonde lets out indicates she hit the target. 

 

Cosima, taking in the scene commands to her sister “Helena grab her, go!” 

 

Helena pounces on Shay and clutches at her, trapping her arms flat against her own body. “If you scream I’ll break neck” She words in Shay’s ear for good measure. 

 

Even if she wanted to, Shay couldn’t let a single sound escape her throat. She was not only dealing with the shock of what was happening but the hold Helena had on her was really strong, almost taking all the air from her lungs. 

 

Helena turns to Cosima, waiting for her next instructions.

 

Cosima seems to be considering what to do next, she stays rooted in place for some moments, watching Shay’s chest go up and down. She keeps staring at her until an idea pops in her mind.

 

“Put her in the bathtub” 

 

With no effort, Helena lifts Shay from the floor and carries her a few steps to the bathtub. She deposits her into the tub being careful not to let go of Shay.

 

Shay finally seems to snap “what are you doing Cosima, what do you want!” 

 

“What I want? Hmm, let me see” Cosima moves to the kitchenette “As I said I’m here to talk” She lets her hand slide along the counter “and I’m pretty sure you must have figured out what it is that I want to talk about” her eyes roam the small space, when suddenly they land on something.

 

“Cosima I…” 

 

“Quiet!” Cosima yells grabbing on the object she was looking for. “I’m the one doing the talking here I don’t wanna hear your voice!” She takes a breath composing herself before continuing “you know? I just remembered something you told me some months ago. It was about your bathtub and blood” Cosima turns and walks toward Shay with deliberate slow steps, sporting a knife in her hand. 

 

The expression Shay is portraying now can be only described as terror “no, Cosima wait, please you can’t…” 

 

Cosima’s eyes fill with fury at the sound of her words and she sprints toward Shay. Cosima swoops down in front of the tub, clutching Shay’s jaw with force. 

 

“I said shut up!”

 

Even Helena –who’s seen worse- was taken aback by her sister’s attitude. She looks at Cosima’s face and seems confused not being able to find the woman she has gotten to know in the past months. But still she remains quiet just holding the blonde. 

 

Cosima is breathing heavily, her veins popping from her neck “you are a murderer and a traitor. You used me to follow those assholes orders, you’re a neolutionists bitch!” She lets go of the jaw “I saw you, I saw you when you…” Cosima chokes “… when you killed her and I swear to whatever entity out there you’re paying for that!” She then pulls at one of Shay’s arms and holds her by the wrist. 

 

Shay struggles to get her arm free but she finds it impossible. The grip Cosima has on her is unlike anything she’s ever known. 

 

“You left her there, alone; slowly drifting away, suffering;” She moves Shay’s wrist up “and I’m gonna make sure you feel that same agony and pain” said that, she slits the flesh on the blonde’s wrist, making sure the wound is superficial. 

 

Shay lets out a strangled cry at the pain as blood begins dripping from her skin. 

 

“Does it hurt? Oh I haven’t even started yet!” 

 

“Seestra” Helena intervenes unable to witness Cosima in this state anymore “I can do it, gimme knife I do it” 

 

“Do you have any idea what you did to me? Huh?” Cosima continues to address Shay like she hadn’t heard Helena. “The moment you took her life you took mine along with hers”.

 

“Cosima, please stop…” Shay begs weakly, her body shaking. 

 

“This is what’s left of me; this is what you have done!” 

 

“You don’t understand…”

 

“I don’t need to understand anything! You are just like them, a crazy bitch playing God with people’s lives and I’m done! It has to stop! You…”

 

“I love you!” 

 

Cosima’s face transforms from fury into something else that can’t be described with words “what… did you just say” she manages through gritted teeth, her face red. 

 

“Don’t do this…” Shay whispers “please don’t do this…” 

 

Cosima fixes her eyes on the vein that stands out on Shay’s wrist. It is right next to the cut she inflicted. She doesn’t pay attention to her hand now covered in blood; she can only see the vein. Cosima clenches her jaw and slowly moves the knife without hesitation to its final destination.


	4. Aghast

Everything at headquarters is in a mess. 

 

“Oh my God Sarah I swear if you don’t do something right now I’m gonna drag you myself to reach her!” Felix yells infuriated. 

 

Alison is in a similar state of anxiety “Sarah, she has obviously lost her mind, I’m afraid she may do something very stupid” 

 

“I know bloody hell! I just…” Sarah paces “She…” 

 

“For fuck’s sake she’s got a gun with her” 

 

“And Helena” 

 

Sarah stops and stares at Felix and Alison. 

 

The trio remains silent for a few seconds.

 

“Fuck it! Let’s go” Sarah finally exclaims looking for her gun. 

 

“I will get the keys” Felix runs to find Mrs. S. 

 

Just then Sarah’s phone rings and she rushes to answer it.

 

“Hello? Oh my God Marion! …Yes something happened, Cosima saw the video of Delphine and she’s gone to Shay’s apartment and… No, she’s with Helena and I don’t know what she’s gonna do… Ok… Ok, I’ll be there” 

 

“What’s going on?” Siobhan emerges from downstairs, carrying her grandbaby. 

 

“Marion is sending help to Shay's apartment; she wants me to be there” Sarah informs everyone while she is loading her gun. 

 

“I got them, hurry up!” Felix reappears- car keys in his hands-already moving to the door. 

 

“Alright then, call me as soon as you can” 

 

“Yes mum”

 

Both Felix and Sarah disappear in a hurry. 

 

…

 

Shay is desperate; she doesn’t know what to do to stop this. She finally relents and utters what could be her only chance to reason with Cosima. 

 

“Cosima, no! I’m…” 

 

And just as the blade was about to touch Shay’s skin, the door bursts open. 

 

“Freeze! Don’t move!”

 

The sudden intrusion startles Cosima who jolts back cutting the other side of Shay’s arm. 

 

Helena lets go of Shay and jumps in front of Cosima, shielding her. 

 

Behind them a wailing Shay, applies pressure onto the new exposed wound. 

 

In no time the room is filled with soldiers pointing their rifles at them. 

 

“Drop the knife, put your hands up” 

 

Cosima does as she’s told by instinct her mind still not processing what’s going on. 

 

Helena for her part doesn’t move an inch, ready to attack at any time. 

 

“I said hands up!” One soldier commands, pointing to Helena. 

 

At that moment someone else enters the room, pushing her way through the soldiers. 

 

“Don’t touch my sisters you twats!” A breathless Sarah stands in front of them, covering her sisters. “She’s the one you’re looking for” she points to Shay. 

 

The rifles now aim at Shay, while two soldiers go to pick her up from the tub.

 

“Incised wound!” one exclaims “band-aid!” 

 

Another one approaches with a medical kit. 

 

Sarah helps her sisters up and moves them to the side so the squad could do their job. “Are you Ok?” She asks checking them both. 

 

“Miss Manning?” one female soldier approaches Sarah.

 

“That’s me” Sarah eyes her warily.

 

“I want to apologize for the way we proceeded. It’s nothing personal, it’s just protocol ma’am” 

 

“Yeah, yeah whatever” Sarah waves her hand dismissively. 

 

“Mrs. Bowles asked me to escort you to our base as soon as possible” The woman explains “we better get going” she extends her arm showing the way to the exit. 

 

“I’m coming too” Cosima states with a tone of finality. 

 

“Ok” Sarah decides not to argue, instead facing Helena “Hey meathead you better go back, Felix is waiting in the car”

 

“But I can go with you” Helena protests, still looking at the soldiers around the room. 

 

“No, no; you have to take care of monkey two” 

 

“But…”

 

“It’s just Marion” Sarah’s hand caresses Helena’s hair “we’ll be fine” 

 

Reluctantly Helena nods. 

 

Just then, the twins notice that Cosima is staring at Shay-who is still being tended to- her hands curled into fists. 

 

“Ok,” Sarah grabs Cosima by her arm softly “let’s go” 

 

The three of them walk to the door with the female soldier right behind them. 

 

…

 

After a brief flight and a long ride along a deserted area, they arrived at the military camp. 

 

Cosima and Sarah are guided into a large room that seems to work as an entrance for the base. They go inside along with four soldiers. Seconds later Shay also enters the room, guarded by two other soldiers, but this time she’s handcuffed with one arm bandaged. 

 

Cosima’s jaw tenses again at the sight of the blonde, who remains with her eyes staring at the floor. 

 

Their attention is dragged toward the far side of the room, where they can hear heavy footsteps getting closer.

 

Suddenly, after turning the corner, a familiar tall blonde woman, in full military uniform marches along with four other soldiers in their direction. 

 

Upon noticing her, the six soldiers accompanying Sarah, Cosima and Shay salute. 

 

“At ease” the woman says standing in the middle of the room. 

 

The three other women are in complete shock, they can’t believe what their eyes are seeing. 

 

Automatically Cosima moves forward in the woman’s direction “Delphine!” She shouts as she walks, but she’s blocked by two of the soldiers. 

 

Sarah looks at her sister and then at the blonde soldier, who remains stoic in her place. 

 

Shay stares at her too, trying to find something in her face and when she doesn’t she utters in amazement. “She’s… not Delphine” 

 

At that moment the woman clears her throat and speaks in a stern tone “Good Evening, My name is Elise Cote and this is Operation Pollux”.


	5. Jar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think so far?

“Holy shite!”

 

“Holy shit”

 

Sarah and Shay let out in unison. 

 

Cosima is too astonished to say anything; she continues to gawk at the woman before her. 

 

Taking in their reactions, Elise proceeds to explain “I know this may come as a shock to all of you, and I apologize; but Mrs. Bowles saw fit to introduce you into the operation at this very moment. I am aware it is sudden and probably inconvenient under these circumstances but we had no choice. The enemy is moving fast and we have to stop them soon before they take their inhuman ideology further. Now, we need all the information you can provide us. That along with the one we already have and the training we have been enduring for years, we are fairly certain we are prepared to confront and defeat the neolutionism once and for all” 

 

Sarah and Cosima didn’t really understand what Elise just said, focusing instead on other details. Like her accent for example; there’s no hint of French whatsoever. Her body, even in the uniform, looked built-if the broad shoulders were an indication. But perhaps the most disturbing aspect was the expression on her face. She looked rather cold and detached; her eyes lacked the warm sincerity of Delphine’s. They are very confused and torn about what to feel. 

 

Elise, still not getting any response, focuses her attention on the soldiers guarding Shay. 

 

“Release Miss Davydov” She commands. 

 

Shay lets out a nervous sigh avoiding the sisters' eyes. 

 

Immediately the soldiers remove the cuffs. 

 

“What!”

 

“Hey!”

 

Again, Cosima and Sarah’s attempt to move was stopped by the soldiers. 

 

Before they could lash out, the entrance door opened.

 

“Marion!” Shay exclaims upon seeing the woman. 

 

Cosima and Sarah look at each other; their minds trying to find some sense in the situation.

 

“Shay, long time no see” The woman regards her with a smile. The smile morphs into an expression of concern though when she notices the bandages on Shay’s arm “what happened to you?”

 

“Uh” Shay gets agitated, but doesn’t respond. 

 

Marion turns to Cosima and seems to get it “oh” she takes a few steps forward “hello Cosima, I don’t think we had the pleasure of meeting before, I’m Marion Bowles” She doesn’t bother to extend her hand; she clearly could see Cosima was not up to any pleasantries. 

 

As expected Cosima acknowledges her with a dead glare, not liking one bit how well she is treating Shay. 

 

“Marion, what the hell?” Sarah couldn’t help but to demand an explanation for this madness. 

 

With this, Marion throws a glance to Elise. 

 

The blonde gets the message. She stands at attention and instructs in a loud and firm voice “you are dismissed” 

 

The ten soldiers present leave the room in an instant. 

 

When they are alone, Marion faces Sarah “there are a lot of things we need to discuss Sarah but first…” she moves toward Shay. “Are you Ok?” 

 

Shay manages a mixture of shaking her head and nodding at the same time.

 

“You don’t have to worry about anything anymore; you’re not going back to them” Marion assures Shay putting a hand on her shoulder “now I just want you to refresh yourself and relax, because later we need to talk about everything you learned Ok?” She then turns back to Elise “please make sure Miss Davydov gets a room nearby”.

 

Elise nods and extends her arm “follow me please” 

 

With some fear evident in her eyes, Shay follows the other blonde. 

 

When they are out of sight, Marion comments “you couldn’t just wait a few hours before checking on the flash drive, I see” she chuckles glancing at Sarah. 

 

Sarah crosses her arms defensively and it is about to retort when Cosima beats her to it.

 

“So, she was supposed to hide it from us? From me?” Cosima challenges with renewed anger. 

 

“No, I was actually hoping that Sarah's lack of patience would result in you seeing that specific video at some point. I was also counting on your short temper, knowing you would go after Miss Davydov. It was the only way we could retrieve her safely without neolution suspecting anything…”

 

“bloody fantastic” Sarah mutters under her breath. 

 

“… although safe is not the word I should be using” Marion glances at Cosima before continuing “As far as they are concerned Shay is my prisoner now; and that’s how it’s supposed to remain” 

 

“What are you saying?” 

 

After making sure Shay was escorted to her room, Elise reentered the area. 

 

“What I’m saying Cosima is that Miss Davydov is an important tool in this matter. She’s got valuable information and everything she did was under my orders. To get results there were sacrifices, from many of us, but she did nothing wrong; she had to do what she had to do”

 

Upon hearing those words Cosima loses it “how dare you!” she dashes toward Marion. 

 

She didn’t even get three steps forward when a strong arm grabbed her around the midsection, causing her to expel air from her lungs in a loud oof.

 

“Stay right there!” Elise orders with her free arm stretched, pointing at Sarah, who was about to move. When she makes sure that they were not going to put up a fight, she lets go of Cosima and adds “You two seriously need to calm down. We are wasting valuable time with all this bickering. We all have questions, we all want answers and we’re going to get them but we need to focus.”

 

Sarah wants to argue, but the veracity of the statement makes her decide against it. 

 

Cosima just remains bewildered in front of this woman whose voice and face she recognizes, but not the attitude or stand. 

 

Marion shakes her head with a sigh “I’m afraid Miss Cote is right, we need to act immediately, the sooner we exchange information, the better.” She steps toward Sarah “Since we wasted so much time in useless arguments how about if we go to a quiet place to catch up and let Elise and Cosima deal with the science” 

 

At this, Sarah tenses, glancing at Cosima “I don’t think that’s a good idea Marion”

 

Elise intervenes “there are things we need to discuss about the original genome and some neolution technology I’m sure she’ll be interested in hearing” She turns to Cosima “right Miss Niehaus?”

 

The brunette remains unresponsive. 

 

“I’m sorry, I know this must be too much for you and I wish I could give you some time to adjust but I’m afraid we can’t afford that luxury” 

 

Elise is met only with silence. 

 

“Cos?” Sarah asks her sister with worry, not knowing if she’s ready to face this Delphine look-alike by herself. 

 

Finally Cosima reacts “what? No; yeah, yeah I can… I can do that yeah sure” She swallows as she tries to convince Sarah that she would be fine. 

 

“Good” a sly smile-that doesn’t quite reach her eyes- graces Elise’s face “I have the files in my office, if we just…” She signals for Cosima to follow her. 

 

Cosima does, nervously; throwing one last look to her sister before disappearing with Elise. 

 

“Shall we?” 

 

Marion’s voice startles a distracted Sarah. “yeah”

 

As they walk Marion allows Sarah to organize her thoughts and lead the conversation. 

 

“Why didn’t you find me sooner? What happened?” Sarah starts.

 

“I was hiding here, neolution was after me. I couldn’t risk making any contact with you while they were on high alert. I’m still a target, but right now they’re distracted with other things.” 

 

“Oh” Sarah nods. Then she remembers someone. “Where is Charlotte?” 

 

At the sound of her daughter’s name being mentioned Marion’s steps faltered. She closes her eyes letting a shaky breath escape her lips.


	6. Blast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From now on the fic will be filled with characters backstory, flashbacks and explanations; hope they answer all your potential questions as the story progresses.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

_The red lights of the silent alarm installed at Marion’s house in Frankfurt suddenly illuminate her office.  She stands up abruptly taking a small device and pressing a button. She inhales and exhales as a way to calm her anxiety._

 

 

_“Mom! Mom!” Charlotte enters the room in a rush “they’re here!” she exclaims looking at her mother expectantly._

 

 

_“Yeah sweetheart, they are here”_

 

 

_“It’s time” Charlotte says with excitement._

 

 

_“That’s right my angel, it’s time”_

 

 

_Marion extends her hands for Charlotte to get near. Charlotte does and hugs her mother by the waist. The older woman then crouches to be eye level with the girl, as she fixes the collar of her blouse._

 

 

_“Are you ready?”_

 

 

_“Yes I’m ready!” Charlotte replies eagerly “’I’m gonna be brave like Sarah, proper like Alison, sneaky like Helena, smart like Cosima…  and selfish like Rachel”_

 

 

_“And why is that?” Marion lifts a brow at the last line._

 

 

_“Because now it’s about me and my sisters” Charlotte smiles broadly._

 

 

_“That’s my girl” Marion mirrors the smile of the little clone and she leans in to envelope her in a tight hug._

 

 

_Charlotte returns the hug and whispers in her mother’s ear “I’m gonna miss you mommy”_

 

 

_Marion feels her eyes sting at the realization that this could be the last time she sees her daughter. “I’m gonna miss you too my baby” she whispers back, managing to sound steady._

 

 

_She finally gives Charlotte a kiss on the forehead and stands up holding the girl by her shoulders as they both face the door._

 

 

_Seconds later, three men appear with guns in their hands._

 

 

_“Mrs. Bowles” One of them points at her with his gun “I think you should come with us”_

 

 

_“Sure” She replies with complete calmness._

 

 

_“The girl!” other man demands “give her to me”_

 

 

_“Go with him sweetheart” Marion tells the child softly._

 

 

_Charlotte reaches the man but before he leads her out of the room she turns to her mother “I love you”_

 

 

_A bittersweet smile spreads over Marion’s lips “I love you too”_

 

 

_When the little girl is out of sight, the two men that remain in the room grab Marion by each of her shoulders dragging her out of the office.  As they pass through the hallways Marion can see the amount of people in her house turning everything upside down. They cross the front door and walk through the large yard that is now occupied by black cars. Finally they stop next to one of the vehicles._

 

 

_“Get in!” the man still grabbing her shoulder commands pushing her inside._

 

 

_Marion climbs in and looks up just in time to see one car – the one that is carrying Charlotte- leaving the premises. She exhales and waits for the men to get inside too. One sits next to her, the other occupies the driver’s seat. When the car starts moving she rearranges herself in the seat, as she observes armed men at the exit gate._

 

 

_The car had barely crossed the gate when a sudden explosion stopped it abruptly. The impact was so hard the driver got injured._

 

 

_Then out of the blue, they are surrounded by soldiers who shoot at anything and anybody crossing their path. The attack is so fast that the man next to Marion doesn’t have time to react when the door by his side opens. Before he can even think about using his weapon, he receives a gunshot to the head. The door beside Marion opens too and someone reaches in and pulls her out of the car._

 

 

_“Down, down” Elise yells “to the left now move, move”_

 

 

_The shooting continues as the two women practically crawl their way out of the fire zone. At a relatively safe area they finally stand up and run until a van stops in front of them._

 

 

_Elise opens the back door and helps Marion up, once they are both inside she hits one side of the vehicle and they speed away._

 

 

_“The dove is in the nest, I repeat the dove is in the nest!” Elise lets out through her in-the-ear headset as she and Marion take a seat. “Are you Ok?” She asks while scanning Marion’s body._

 

 

_Marion nods breathing heavily. “Everything went according to plan” she adds._

 

 

_“Good” Elise replies not taking her eyes away from the woman._

 

 

_A moment of silence passes between them until Marion exhales loudly covering her face with both her hands. She starts shaking as uncontrollable sobs take over her body._

 

 

_“I’m sorry” Elise takes Marion by the shoulder “I’m really sorry”_

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

“She…” Marion gathers herself quickly before answering “she was taken by neolution”

 

 

“What!” Sarah gapes at her “When? How?!”

 

 

“They trespassed into my house in Frankfurt to capture me and Charlotte. I knew they only wanted me for answers but Charlotte…” Marion sighs “they’ve wanted her since the day she was born; unfortunately for them I was faster and claimed her as my daughter before they could do anything. Neolution suspected I was up to something but they weren't sure; like I wasn’t sure about Castor. So their attention was mainly on getting Charlotte” She swallows “I allowed them to take her. And while they were gloating on their little victory, Elise and the team rescued me”.

 

 

Sarah’s jaw clenches as she speaks through gritted teeth “So you let them have my little sister to save your executive arse?”

 

 

For the first time since Sarah has known the woman, she can see another expression other than the cold and calculating ones she was used to. She sees anger reflected in Marion’s face.

 

 

“Look Sarah” despite her evident fury, Marion does an amazing job at controlling herself “Charlotte is in this war as much as you or the others. She may be a kid but believe me; she’s got that charming stubbornness that seems to accompany all of you. She’s been self-aware her whole life and she’s by far more informed than you in this matter. Charlotte is playing her part with bravery and I have no doubt she’ll do it brilliantly. Letting her do that all by herself, was probably the most difficult decision I had ever made in my life, even if I knew they were not going to hurt her; she’s too valuable for them to do so. But as I explained Cosima we all had to make sacrifices; for her and for all of you” She now glares at Sarah straight in the eyes “Now I would much appreciate it if you never question my love for my daughter again; because I will not allow it. Have I made myself clear?”

 

 

“Yeah... very” Sarah does her best not to look intimidated. The fire she sees in Marion’s eyes is the same she saw in her own eyes whenever something or someone threatened Kira’s life. She knew better than to mess with a mother in protective mode.

 

 

“Good” Marion stops in front of a door and opens it “come in”

 

 

They get inside ready to go deep into their uncertain future.

 

 

…

 

 

The whole way to Elise’s office is done in silence.

 

 

Every now and then Cosima steals side glances at Elise trying to comprehend how she could be so similar but at the same time so different from the woman she loved.  Her heart is beating fast with nervousness and excitement.

 

 

_Calm down Cosima; if you do something stupid you’re gonna scare her away or worse, she may just tackle you or some shit like that. Be cool, talk like a normal human being, try and get to know her and maybe…Ugh! Stop it! She’s not Delphine! She’s not Delphine!_

 

 

Cosima repeats it in her mind trying to convince herself. Then she looks to her side again, staring at the woman.

 

 

_But maybe this is the closest to her you will ever get._

 

 

There, for the first time in months, Cosima starts feeling something other than pain and loss. She now has hope.

 

 

Elise suddenly comes to a halt breaking Cosima’s train of thought.

 

 

“Here” the blonde says holding the door open for Cosima.

 

 

Hesitantly, Cosima enters the office. She immediately moves to one side of the room to avoid making any physical contact with the tall blonde.

 

 

Elise walks past her to her desk, standing next to it, facing Cosima.

 

 

“So…” Cosima starts “I’m sorry about earlier it’s just that I’m still very confused and honestly quite blown away, really like…” She begins moving her hands “I mean this has been a seriously fucked up day from beginning to end. I just discovered that… and then I almost…” Cosima closes her eyes and swallows “then I come here and I see you and…”

 

 

She watches Elise standing there with a face that shows nothing; with eyes that are empty. No kind expression, no shinny eyes. And that does it; she can’t contain the emotions inside of her anymore.

 

 

 “I’m sorry I can’t …” tears form in Cosima’s eyes “I thought I could but I can’t, I can’t do this!” she looks down “it’s too painful; looking at you... hurts. I know we have to talk, that we both need the info but it’s too much I…” her hand flies to her chest “I feel it here and…”

 

 

Elise calmly listens to Cosima’s rambling. She observes also the way her hands move, how her body sways in place as she explains what’s on her mind; how she tries and fails to keep her feelings at bay. Once she gets enough of analyzing the brunette, Elise removes her beret and places it on the desk.

 

 

“… I know you’re not Delphine but I…”

 

 

She then takes long strides toward Cosima, grabs her face with both her hands and joins their lips in a crushing kiss.

 

 

Cosima jerks in surprise disconnecting the kiss, her eyes wide open “what… what are you doing” Her mind running a mile a minute.

 

 

She wants to detach from the blonde’s reach; she wants to yell at her to stop pitying her, to stop using her… to stop whatever she’s doing; because if she continues she may as well go insane.

 

 

 But Elise only holds her face tighter leaning her forehead to hers.  She then sighs whispering something that makes Cosima’s heart stop and head spin.

 

 

“My love…”


	7. Delphine

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

_As soon as Delphine drove away from Bubbles and Cosima, the tears she was holding back began to fall freely. Her heart ached knowing this would be the last time she would see the love of her life. Delphine knew Cosima was going to be devastated and that was crushing her insides but she didn’t have a choice, neolution would kill her no matter what and it was best if she stayed away from the sisters._

 

_‘At least Cosima won’t be alone, she has Shay’ she thinks. ‘She has to be enough for Cosima now. She must’_

 

_The streets on that side of the city were mostly empty at that time of night; making Delphine’s ride smooth. She wished she could have talked to Marion to let her know about the situation, but the woman was unreachable._

 

_‘Please be alive, they are going to need you, you’re all they have now’ she can only hope for the best._

 

  _She’s about to enter the intersection when the ‘road closed’ sign stops her._

 

  _“Merde” Delphine curses at the inconvenience._

 

_She puts the car in reverse, remembering there was a street not too far behind. Once she makes it into the narrow street, Delphine gets a bad feeling in her gut; like she is walking into a trap. She swallows but continues anyway._

 

_Sure enough, when she was about to reach the corner, a car appears in front of her, blocking her way._

 

_Delphine barely has time to hit the brakes to avoid crashing into the vehicle._

 

_There she observes a black car with tinted windows._

 

_‘This is it’ Delphine gulps ‘someone is going to come over and shoot me in the head’_

 

_The sound of the car’s door opening and closing echoes in the street._

 

_She then closes her eyes ‘please let it be worth it; please, please let her be save’_

 

_High heels hit loudly on the pavement._

 

_Curiosity gets the best of Delphine and she opens her eyes to watch the executor approach her._

 

_But what she sees has her blinking rapidly and opening her eyes wide in disbelief._

 

_“_ _Quoi?!” Delphine utters as she watches herself –with the exact same clothes and hair- walking to her car, opening the passenger door and sliding in beside her._

 

_“_ _Hey, I’m Elise Cote; it’s nice to finally meet you Delphine” the woman lets out with a smirk._

 

_“Quo… wha…”_

 

_Expecting this reaction and not wanting to waste time Elise interrupts her “Before you ask yes I’m your clone and no, there are not hundreds of you around the world, just the one” She points at herself “I wish I had more time to explain all this to you but unfortunately we have to act now. Marion is waiting in the car, go with her, I’ll take your place” Her voice is calm and decisive._

 

_“What! No!”  Delphine fires back seemingly more alert “You can’t do that they’re going to…” She sighs “they’re going to kill me!”_

 

_“Exactly” Elise replies “And we can’t let that happen. Your knowledge and involvement in this operation is priceless! You are vital for the success of it; we can’t afford losing you Delphine”_

 

_“And you? What about you?!”_

 

_“I am doing my part; and this is it”_

 

_Delphine shakes her head “No, there’s no way I’m going to let you do it. Go back to Marion and tell her I refuse to…”_

 

_“_ _I’m gonna die anyway Delphine”_

 

_“Huh?”_

 

_Elise exhales “I have the clone disease. I started showing symptoms three weeks ago.”_

 

_Delphine stares at her in shock but then she responds with optimism “But I’m your original! Just take some of my blood and take it to a lab and…”_

 

_“Stop” Elise grabs her arm “There’s no time for that”_

 

_“Of course there is, I just need a syringe it’ll be fast”_

 

_Elise chuckles “You are just as Marion described. Caring selfless Delphine, who always puts her mission and the ones she loves first. You don’t even know me but I can tell you already care about me” she smiles sadly “oh how I wish I had met you before. I’m sure we would’ve gotten along pretty well.”_

 

_Delphine feels overcome with emotion “I can’t…”_

 

_“Delphine, neolution won’t stop until you’re dead, they will hunt you down under the rocks if it’s necessary. But if I go in your place, you will be free to keep working alongside of Marion without any disturbances; and now more than ever you’ll need that bit of freedom because believe me shit has hit the fan”_

 

_At the still negative response she’s getting from her original Elise takes her hand “Hey, Leda needs you; Cosima needs you. They need YOU not me; do it for them, we are almost there”_

 

_“Please don’t make me do this”_

 

_Before she can say anything else, Delphine is enveloped in a tight hug._

 

_++++++++++++++_

 

**_Emergency room, France 2000_ **

 

_Marion frantically enters the emergency ward of the hospital, scanning all around the place until she spots the person she was searching for._

 

_“_ _Mrs. Bowles!” A young nun exclaims, appearing scared after seeing the woman coming at her._

 

_“Come here” Marion angrily grabs the nun by the arm and drags her to a less transit corner. “How did this happen?! You were supposed to take care of her!” She hisses._

 

_“I… I’m sorry Mrs. Bowles, I didn’t think she would try something like that; I mean she was acting just like usual. She went to all of her classes and she was alone during lunch; so when she locked herself in her room I honestly thought she was studying or reading a book, like she always does.” The nun looks down “and well when she didn’t come for dinner I came in and…”_

 

_“Fuck” Marion turns around grabbing her head “you have any idea what you just caused? Huh? Her parents will arrive here in two or three hours and they will take her to a psychiatrist and they won’t leave her alone; which means I have to tell her right now about my plans for her future and she’s still too young. I don’t know if she’ll understand; I don’t know if she’ll be interested” She growls frustrated. “I swear if she would’ve gotten away with it you would be…”_

 

_The young nun gulps having a slight idea of what would’ve happened to her “I’m so sorry Mrs…”_

 

_“Just shut up and take me to her” Marion demands, still not having perfected that diplomatic stance that would characterize her in the future._

 

_Twenty minutes later, and with Marion already seated next to the hospital bed, the patient – a teenage blonde girl - awakens._

 

_“Hello Delphine” Marion says to make herself known._

 

_The girl turns to look at her with questioning eyes._

 

_“My name is Marion Bowles, and I bet you’re wondering who I am and how do I know your name”_

 

_Delphine just stares at her._

 

_Marion leans closer “See, I happen to know a lot about you Delphine. I know for example that you’re very smart and that you like science… a lot”_

 

_The young blonde is immediately intrigued, not only by the statement, but also for the fact that this woman is speaking in English to her._

_“I also happen to know that you are bored, that your school is not challenging enough for you; that you don’t think your parents love you … that you’re not happy” Marion eyes the girl’s bandaged wrists._

 

_Delphine looks down embarrassed and hurt, trying to hide her wrists._

 

_“Hey” Marion grabs her arm tenderly “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, you’re a very special girl Delphine; you have no idea how much. I know because I’ve followed your life since you were a little girl, I’ve watched you grow and become this exceptional mind, one that will work on very important things” She sits a little straighter, now taking Delphine’s hand in hers “And I waited years for the right time to make you a proposition”_

 

_Again, Marion has Delphine’s attention._

 

_“I want you to work with me on the most interesting science experiments you’ve ever heard. You are going to see things you would never do anywhere else; I promise you Delphine, you and I are going to do wonderful things”_

 

_The eyes of the young blonde grew with excitement, her imagination running wild. Suddenly she hesitates with fear “Mais - But my parents... they won’t let me… after this…” She shows her wounded wrists, her accent very thick._

 

_“Oh, don’t worry about them” Marion assures “I’ll deal with that situation. What I want you to do now is to focus on studying what you love the most. I’m going to make sure you get into the best schools and from there no one will be able to stop you” She then gazes straight at Delphine’s eyes “what do you say? Do you accept my proposition? Do you want to become a great scientist Delphine?”_

 

_“Yes!” Delphine responds by sitting up in the bed “I want to work with science; I want to work with you”_

 

_Marion smiles broadly allowing a sigh of relieve to escape her body._

 

_“_ _Excellent”_

 

_…_

 

**_Paris, 2011_ **

 

_“And how do you know he’s going to choose me? I mean these candidates are…pfff… amazing! ” Delphine lets the files with the information of the other immunologists fall on the desk._

 

_Marion chuckles “oh believe me, he’s gonna choose you”_

 

_“How can you be so sure?”_

 

_“Well” Marion closes her laptop “First of all, you are as amazing as them; there’s no place for doubt in that area” She stands up “and second, Aldus Leekie could be one of the most brilliant men I’ve even met but at the end of the day he’s just that… a man” Marion gives Delphine a once over._

 

_“Oh…” Delphine makes a face “So you mean I have to…”_

 

_“If you must” Marion cuts her off, sparing her the mental image “but don’t worry about that now”_

 

_Delphine sighs annoyed._

 

_“Look Delphine” Marion gets closer “you must remember that after you get into DYAD our communication will be minimal, almost none existent, nobody can suspect we know each other. You’ll be on your own and I need you to stay alert and focus on everything Leekie does”  She takes Delphine by her arms “You’ll have to work hard on getting his attention and then his trust; let him think he is in control, let him believe he is the one taking advantage of you. Then and only then he will introduce you to Project Leda; and well once inside it’s just a matter of time for you to gain a position of power that would allow you to pull some strings.”_

 

_“You make it sound so easy” Delphine refutes skeptical, as she runs a hand through her hair._

 

_“Unfortunately it won’t be” Marion leans on the desk behind her. “But I have faith in you. You’ve been preparing yourself for this for so long; I think you’re ready”_

 

_“Yeah” Delphine looks down for a moment before meeting Marion’s gaze again “I think I am too”_

 

_++++++++++++++_

 

_Delphine didn’t say much once she got into the car with Marion; partly because she was mad at the woman for hiding so many things from her and also because she was too shocked to even begin to formulate any questions. Not with Elise's presence still vividly in her mind._

 

  _Marion drove her to a secluded location with a small hangar visible, where a helicopter was evidently waiting for them._

 

_When the car is parked Marion turns to face Delphine “grab your head, look like you're in pain and disoriented; don’t say a word”_

 

_“What?” Delphine doesn’t have a chance to say more since Marion already left the vehicle._

 

_Three soldiers come out from the helicopter and trot to meet Marion._

 

_“_ _Is everything OK ma’am?” One of the soldiers asks._

 

_“No, there was a little mishap. During a confrontation Miss Cote suffered a concussion; although is too early to tell, she has been presenting some worrying symptoms. Let’s hurry up to the base to verify her condition”_

 

_“Yes ma’am”_

 

_Two soldiers take Delphine out of the car and help her into the helicopter._

 

_When they finally arrive at the base Delphine is dumbstruck._

 

_“O mon Dieu!” She couldn’t help noticing the enormity of the facility._

 

_“Elise” Marion calls out once they descend from the helicopter “come, sit”_

 

_“_ _Huh?” The blonde looks down and sees the wheelchair presented to her._

 

_Without another word, she’s forced into the wheelchair and taken inside the base._

 

_After some fake exams Marion pretended to run with the help of one of the doctors in the base, Delphine is wheeled into another room._

 

_There in the privacy of the four walls Delphine realizes she’s too exhausted to confront Marion, instead taking a more composed approach._

 

_“A concussion? How clever” She comments while admiring the organized large bedroom._

 

_“I know, that way nobody would find your erratic behavior odd” Marion takes a seat by the bed. “It was Elise’s idea”_

 

_At the mention of her clone Delphine freezes in place, exhaling anxiously. “Is this her room?”_

 

_“yeah”_

 

_Gathering herself, Delphine begins to roam around the space until a bookshelf draws her attention. She gets closer to it and takes in the titles of the books “is she a scientist too?!” She exclaims turning to look at Marion._

 

_“Uh huh. Biotechnology; she is…” Marion purses her lips and continues “she was one of the best out there” She looks to the side lost in thought for some seconds, then adds “you will find out you two had a lot in common”_

 

_Unable to avoid the subject anymore Delphine runs both hands through her hair, trying to control the emotions within her. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she finally asks with a soft voice._

 

_The other woman just sighs looking down “I couldn’t Delphine, and you know it”_

 

_The blonde closes her eyes, accepting that what Marion just said was the truth and there was nothing she could do about it. That didn’t work as a consolation though as all the anger and remorse were still present in her soul. She wonders when these unexpected turns in her life will stop._

 

_“Next week you’ll be starting your military training”_

 

_“putain…” Delphine mumbles at the reminder._

 

_Marion clears her throat and continues “you are going to have a few days to make your physical recovery appear believable then you’ll start your training. From Monday to Friday every morning you will be working with a private instructor; during the afternoons you’ll watch all the footage we have on Elise. You have to start becoming her in four or five days”_

 

_“OK” Delphine nods with a sour expression._

 

_“It is absolutely necessary to do so; we have to make sure there are no evident traces of Delphine Cormier left in you. Nobody can suspect you’re still alive and it has to be convincing” Marion stands up and moves to the door. She holds the knob considering her next words and voices with empathy “I don’t pretend to imagine how hard this may be for you and I’m sorry”_

 

_“No, I… I understand Marion, I do” Delphine offers “It is a small sacrifice compared to all the lives that will be saved. This goes beyond Leda now; that is very clear. I just… need to wrap my head around it … that’s all”_

 

_“Alright” Marion manages a weak smile “then you better get some rest. Tomorrow I’ll fill you in with everything you need to know” with that final comment she gets out of the room, leaving Delphine alone._

 

_As soon as she hears the fading sound of footsteps, everything crashes down inside Delphine and she feels a familiar pressure in the chest. She covers her mouth in an attempt to muffle the sobs that involuntarily begin leaving her body. Overwhelmed, she lies down slowly on the bed and curls into a fetal position._

 

_There, in the softness of the mattress and sheets Delphine lets it all out. She allows herself to mourn in the loss of a sister she didn’t have the chance to know, and in the imminent loss of her own life and identity._

 

_She has to remember herself that she’s not going through all this mess only for the thousands of lives she could be potentially saving but also for the Leda sisters. But most importantly that she’s doing it for Cosima._

 

_‘Cosima… mon amour’_

 

_With that thought in mind she decides with all certainty that she will be Elise Cote no matter how much it takes; and that little by little Delphine Cormier will cease to exist. She’ll make sure of that._

 

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions? Comments? let me know!


	8. Elucidation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Encounters and explanations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed the writer with your comments!

 

“My love…”

 

Cosima’s knees weaken upon hearing those words. Her heart wants to believe this is true.

 

 “You’re not... You can’t…”

 

But her mind refuses.

 

“It’s me…” The blonde lets out softly.

 

“No, no” Cosima shakes her head incredulously.  “I saw you…  I held your body in my arms” Cosima leans back to stare at the woman’s face “I had to identify you… I met your parents. They took you and buried you in France… I saw when she…” the words flow through her mind in a ramble.

 

“Mon amour I’m here … I came back… for you”

 

Again Cosima feels her heart constrict. She gazes straight into the blonde’s eyes trying with all her being to see something, to see HER. And finally among the assortment of colors in the orbs in front of her, she finds Delphine.

 

 “Oh My God… Oh my God…” Cosima grabs the face of her love “Del… Delphine” the name comes out ragged. Her chest is closing, she feels dizzy.

 

Luckily strong arms are ready to hold her when her legs give up.

 

“Hey! Easy, I got you, I got you” Delphine embraces her taking in the smell that never left her memory. She smiles with hesitation and astonishment; still not quite believing herself what she’s experiencing.

 

With tears in her eyes, Cosima pulls back just enough to face Delphine again “but how?!... You were…”

 

“I know; I know…” Delphine doesn’t allow her to finish “that was Elise, Elise Cote; the real one” she can’t help the sense of grief at the mention of the other woman “she… she was my clone”

 

“What!” Cosima feels like her head is going to explode “woah, how!”

 

“I’ll explain later I promise but right now I really need you to listen to me” Delphine holds Cosima by her arms “I was not supposed to tell you about this, but I couldn’t hide it from you, not after all you’ve gone through” she smiles “You’ve been so brave my love, standing up for your sisters and I’m so proud of you for that. But the truth is things are gonna get really ugly once we go against Neolution and I need you to be strong and fight with me, you hear me?”

 

Cosima nods stunned.

 

Delphine now grabs her chin tenderly, staring into brown eyes “Do you trust me?”

 

“Yes I do” there’s no hesitation in Cosima’s response.

 

“Good. Because what I’m about to ask you will not be easy”

 

Cosima frowns intrigued.

 

“Nobody can know about me, not even your sisters. I’m Elise now Cosima, that is something you must understand and accept.”

 

“What! Why?”

 

“Because it will only endanger everyone” the blonde swallows “Neolution thinks I’m dead and, in a way it is true” her face turns serious “Delphine Cormier as you knew her no longer exists; she’s just a shadow, it’s my past. I am Elise Cote now, you’ll have get used to it, just like I did”

 

“But…” Cosima wants to argue but is silenced by a peck on her lips.

 

“Shhh, just trust me OK?” She envelopes the short woman in her arms “let’s enjoy this for now”

 

Cosima hugs her back, this time with more tenderness than shock.

 

“We still have to go through the information; there’s a long night ahead of us” Delphine murmurs.

 

“OK” It’s the only response Cosima gives.

 

Neither of them break away from each other.

 

...

 

Already seated, Sarah doesn’t waste time in starting her questioning.

 

“What’s with this Pollux thing? Is it another clone shite?”

 

“No” Marion replies “Project Pollux is an organization I created in order to fight against Neolution. The idea of the name is recent, a formality really; I just followed the mythology nomenclature. Leda, Castor, Pollux; it made sense”

 

With the pointed look Sarah sends her way, clearly stating ‘bullshit’ Marion elaborates.

 

“Believe it or not Elise is the only clone of Delphine.  In all honesty she was created with no real purpose other than to satisfy my own curiosity.

 

“Is that so? The expression on Sarah’s face is still one of incredulity.

 

Marion sighs prepared to go into detail about the whole story “You see I became part of Topside at a very young age, thanks to my parents. They were business people and they bet their money on science which sounded like a good idea monetarily speaking; I was their only child so they thought it was best if I got involved early. But I wanted more than just the money; I was a curious, ambitious girl that really paid attention to what the other members of the board talked about during those meetings. When they mentioned clones they got me hooked completely. They had this brilliant scientist, Ethan Duncan who was in search of a suitable subject to work on his cloning project. He collected a list of possible candidates and he ranked their characteristics. Among them was strength, intelligence, agility and many others. But he forgot all about it when he crossed paths with ‘the perfect candidate’ as he called it; well, the one we know now as a chimera”

 

“Kendall Malone” Sarah remarks, already immersed in the explanation.

 

“Yes. Fortunately I got my hands on the list he dismissed, and I kept it just in case. At first I didn’t have as much access to all the scientific part of the matter since I was there solely as an investor but I managed my way into it.” Marion leans back crossing her legs “with the little information I got by then I hired a team and started my own cloning trials. I checked the list Duncan left behind and I had to decide which characteristic I wanted in the clone; I chose intelligence. To my luck the first candidate, who was a former colleague of Duncan, had recently become a father so I decided I would use the child and not him as my subject.  Professor Cormier is a very intelligent man; the probabilities of his offspring being as gifted as him were high. And I wasn’t wrong”

 

“That’s when you created … Elise, from Delphine.”

 

Marion nods “Even though she’s a result of just basic cloning with little enhancements; nothing at all like you or your sisters, I was happy with the success of the experiment, call it intuition or luck but I just felt someday I would need her. Now she’s my right hand and best collaborator”

 

She purposely omitted the part where Elise sacrificed herself to save a vital piece of the operation; Delphine. She clears her throat erasing for a moment the guilt from her mind.

 

“Since the very beginning I noticed something was not quite right with the board. There was this group of people that always talked about deviant technologies and had this obsession with controlling the human body; it caught my attention. I spent many years trying to figure out what they were up to; even with me being already an active member at Topside, it wasn’t easy to get information about them. They were very cautious as to who would be part of their clan and for some reason they never trusted me. Everything was about science until out of the blue the military began guarding the laboratories. They claimed it was just for security but I found it suspicious. I was in the dark until one day I saw a soldier; he didn’t seem happy at all about his job so I took the opportunity and talked to him in private. The things he told me” She chuckles “I couldn’t believe them. They were not only cloning now, they were talking about body improvements that were beyond health reasons ; creating a whole new race of human beings; an ideology not far away from the Nazi one, basically playing God, it was madness. I was disgusted and alarmed just like this poor soldier who saw everything happening right in front of him. He wanted to quit but I convinced him to stay and be my informant; he was already there; there was no better way to keep tabs on them than from the inside. And that’s how Mr. Davydov became my first partner against these people who call themselves Neolutionists.”

 

“Wait” Sarah interjects “Davydov… as in Shay Davydov?”

 

“Mr Davydov is Shay’s father”

 

“Bloody hell” Sarah runs a hand across her face, thinking about Cosima and how this news will affect her sister. Either way she wanted to learn more about it so she asked Marion to continue; which she did gladly.

 

“Luckily we weren’t the only ones who wanted to stop Neolution. Little by little Mr Davydov recruited more soldiers who were willing to work with us. But the more we learned about Neolution, the more powerful they got. It was like a plague we couldn’t stop. That gave me no choice; I had to create an organization. With the years more powerful allies joined us and well, it is what you see now”

 

Sarah shakes her head “but this is a military base, why involve them?”

 

“Well Sarah as I mentioned, Neolution is not only about technology, they also have connections with the military; that is actually how this whole thing started. The idea was to create the perfect human, the perfect soldier; but from there it started to diverge into their crazy idea of complete manipulation of the human race. Technology and military; I had to face my enemy with equality. It has been a twenty-year secret battle, and we are close to ending it.”

 

“This is insane Marion…” Sarah stands up pacing the office. “So fucked up”

 

...

 

Delphine was giving Cosima a summary similar to the one Marion was giving Sarah - except Shay’s background- only hers was accompanied with science material they were both checking out.

 

“This is so fucked up dude” Cosima shakes her head still eyeing a paper with some Neolution experiment.

 

“I know, and there is more about this shit that is almost unreadable”

 

Cosima glances at her surprised; she’s not used to hearing Delphine curse in English. Now that she thinks about it there are lots of mannerisms and words that are coming out of her mouth that are not at all like her.  Apparently this thing about being Elise is more serious than she originally thought… and is very, very disturbing.

 

“Cosima?”

 

“Huh?” Cosima’s consideration is interrupted by a curious Delphine.

 

“How is it going with the original geno?” Delphine gulps “the cure… did you find it?”

 

It is comforting to Cosima to see some familiar worried expression on the woman before her; that gives her the confidence to respond “well, yeah but not exactly. It’s still on trial; but I haven’t presented any symptoms since I started the treatment. I think we are very close, although… another brain in the task force wouldn’t hurt” she comments with a playful shrug. 

 

The blonde smiles sweetly “I’ll be glad to help. Just… keep me up to speed” 

 

“Oh of course”

 

As Cosima explains her study with eagerness; Delphine finds herself again analyzing the little details that make Cosima so… Cosima. The excitement she exudes while talking about science, her swirling hands, how she tilts her head to the side or the cute way the finger pushes up her glasses. Delphine had been so absorbed with becoming Elise that those particular quirks had momentarily hid in the deepest corner of her mind; to the point of finding them fascinating now.  She doesn’t want to get her hopes up; its’ still too early and there are lots of things to clarify and talk about, but she vows to herself to fulfill her promise and not to waste this opportunity of life that Elise gave her. Delphine will rebuild her relationship with Cosima in time.

 

...

 

“… but we have to be very careful about how to proceed with this operation Sarah. I have been putting it together for many years for a reason.” Marion warns “Pollux is our last resource; we must succeed, that is our only choice.”

 

“Yeah I… I think I got it” Sarah admits with some hesitation “but what are we supposed to do from here?”

 

“Well, that depends on what Shay has to tell us; that’s the only part left in this equation” Marion picks up her phone and calls someone “yes, ask Miss Davydov to join me in the white room please” She presses the end call button and stands up “c’mon, she will be ready in a few minutes”

 

...

 

Cosima and Delphine’s exchange was suddenly interrupted by a vibration.

 

Delphine takes her cellphone, reading in silence the incoming message “we have to go” she informs her companion.

 

“Where?”

 

Already standing up, Delphine replies, “To the white room, Shay and Marion are going to talk”

 

The news is not taken well by Cosima whose face contorts with anger “I don't want to see her!”

 

“Cosima, it’s imperative for you to be there, we all need to listen to what she has to say to complement what we already know”

 

“I don’t care!” Cosima snaps “she’s a fucking murderer! You may be here right now but as far as she’s concerned she killed you, she didn’t know it wasn’t you” she looks at the blonde “I don’t understand how you can be so calm. She killed Elise! ... She killed you!”

 

“She was just following orders Cosima, like me and many others” Delphine tries to reason.

 

“Bullshit!”

 

Knowing Cosima won’t change her mind set, Delphine tries something else. “OK, OK” she embraces the brunette “then do it for me. I really want you to hear the information she’s bringing; Sarah is gonna be there too. Please”

 

“I don’t want to” comes the muffled voice of Cosima.

 

“I know, but remember I told you to be strong?”  When she feels Cosima nod she continues “well, this is one of those moments”

 

With a deep exhale Cosima detaches from her body “OK” but then she warns “but if at any moment I can’t stand watching her I wanna be able to leave”

 

“Sounds fair”

 

When Cosima is about to walk away Delphine grabs her by the arm “Hey,” she waits for Cosima’s eyes to fix on her “remember, I’m Elise out there; OK?”

 

“Yeah I… I know” Cosima replies reluctantly.

 

Either way, Delphine takes it as a positive sign and moves on “Good, let’s go”

 

...

 

Shay takes a seat on the couch while glancing around the white room. There was a big mirror hanging on one of the walls; she avoids looking directly at it. It was obvious who was behind it. She concentrates on waiting for Marion and on getting this situation over with.

 

On the other side, Sarah turns to the door as Cosima and Elise make their appearance.

 

“Cos,” she is by her sister’s side in a second “are you OK?” she puts one arm protectively around Cosima, chancing a glance at Elise.

 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine I just…” Cosima notices Shay on the other side of the glass and then Marion, who was next to Sarah “I don’t wanna be here”

 

“I know, but it’s important for us to hear this. I’ll be here with you” Sarah leads Cosima to the chairs fixed right in front of the glass.

 

Marion walks toward the door as she announces “since we are all here, I’ll start the discussion with Shay, Elise?” She gestures with her head for the blonde to follow her. 

 

When they are in the hallway Marion asks in a low voice “How did she take it?”

 

 “She’s still in shock; I don’t think she has processed it yet. I’ll have to verify next time we see each other” Delphine goes all technical.

 

“hmm” Marion eyes her seeing past the analytic cover “and how are you?”

 

Delphine lets out a long sigh “I’m fine… or I think I’ll be”

 

Marion holds her gaze before adding “I still think it was not the right time to tell her”

 

“I disagree” Delphine assures “Cosima is not a good liar; in any other situation she would freak out and find it very difficult to keep this a secret from her sisters, but with everything that’s going on nobody will suspect if she starts acting weird or if she mixes the names. They will attribute it to emotional distress or denial. I actually consider this was the perfect time”

 

“That’s a very valid argument” Marion concedes “But I want you to be careful with her; we both know how unpredictable and stubborn these girls can be”

 

“Oh yeah” Delphine chuckles “we know”

 

They remain silent for a few seconds in contemplation.

 

“It’s time” Marion finally utters.

 

“It is” Delphine’s eyes light up with determination and excitement. “We are almost there”

 

Marion smiles, extending her hand giving Delphine’s arm a squish as a self-encouragement “Go with them” after those words she enters the white room ready to face Shay.

 


	9. Shay

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

_Shay toys around with Cosima’s bangle conflicted and sad._

 

_The Neolution contact she had to reunite with regularly, questioned her about the reason for Delphine’s second visit and she told the man what happened. He said she was getting too close, that she was a threat._

 

_“She must be eliminated” he stated “and you are going to do it” he took out a gun handing it to her “It has to be fast; we will be watching. I’ll inform you of her whereabouts when the time arrives. Do not fail”._

 

_Things were not supposed to happen like this; she was not supposed to murder anyone, she wasn’t supposed to feel this way about Cosima. Nothing made sense._

 

_‘No, I can’t do it. I won’t kill Delphine. That bitch is a crazy psycho yes, but fuck, Cosima loves her.’ Shay debates in her mind ‘she would find out it was me, I know she would. Neolution be damned, I’ll just say I got scared; that they should send someone else. This may lose any chance of them trusting me; Marion will have to forgive me but I won’t do it’ she sighs ‘I can’t do this to Cosima; I can’t hurt her this way… I can’t lose a chance to be with her… a chance of her being mine’ Shay seems to come to a decision ‘that’s it I’m not killing Delphine. I can’t risk Cosima hating me… I won’t lose her. ’_

 

_Right at that moment someone knocks at her door, alarming a distracted Shay._

 

_+++++++++++++_

 

**_…_ **

 

**Winnipeg, Canada 1996**

 

_A happy ten year old Shay massages her father who is lying on his stomach on the grass in the park._

 

_“That feels so good baby” the man moans encouragingly._

 

_Shay giggles as she continues._

 

_After a while a teenage girl, Shay’s sister, appears by their side “dad it’s almost six, we have to go”_

 

_“Nooo” Shay protests “I don’t wanna go yet, ten minutes more”_

 

_Mr. Davydov moves to a seated position to face his youngest daughter “we better get going sweetheart; we don’t want to make your mom mad do we? You know how she gets when I don’t bring you girls home on time.”_

 

_She pouts standing up, holding her father’s hand._

 

_Once they arrived home the man hugged his daughters goodbye but Shay remained for a little longer._

 

_“Daddy?” She asks softly._

 

_“Yes baby?”_

 

_“One day I’ll be a great soldier and I’ll help people, just like you do” she announces determined._

 

_Mr. Davydov smiles sadly as he looks at his daughter with adoration “you can be whatever you want my zvyozdochka” **.**_

 

**_…_ **

 

**_9 years later_ **

 

_Shay, in full military uniform, sits with her father on a bench in the park as they eat sandwiches._

 

_“I’m so proud of you Shay” Mr. Davydov states out of the blue._

 

_She smiles swallowing the last of her sandwich._

 

_“I’ve always known there was something special in you. You are so brave and have a big kind heart darling; and I think now you are ready to know all the truth”_

 

_“Huh? What are you talking about?” Shay stares at him intrigued._

 

_“I’m talking about my job and what I really do there”_

 

_“What you really do?”_

 

_The man exhales “what you’re about to hear, will not be easy. I know I’m putting you in great danger by telling you this but I really need you to continue my mission… because soon I won’t be able to”_

 

_Shay’s eyes open wide “Dad, you’re scaring me”_

 

_Mr. Davydov takes her hands, and proceeds to enlighten his daughter about his big secret._

 

**_…_ **

 

**_Toronto 2014_ **

 

_Shay is getting ready to leave when someone enters the massage room._

 

_“Oh, I’m sorry” Shay addresses the woman who just came in “I won’t be able to attend to you I just finished my shift; but take a seat and in about five minutes one of my partners will…”_

 

_“You give but little when you give of your possessions.” The woman says with her eyes fixed on Shay._

 

_Words flow automatically from Shay’s lips before she can even think about it_ _“It is when you give of yourself that you truly give” Sudden recognition settles in and she voices a name “Marion Bowles”._

 

_“Shay Davydov” Marion replies with a smirk “I’ll be waiting at the coffee shop across the street, don’t take long” and just as fast as she arrived, she leaves._

 

_Ten minutes later, Shay sits across from her at the table in the small coffee shop._

 

_“I was starting to think you would never appear” Shay comments still stunned._

 

_“Well…” Marion puts her coffee cup on the table before responding “I promised your father not to bother you unless it was absolutely necessary”._

 

_“Yeah…” Shay changes the subject quickly “what are my orders?”_

 

_Understanding that the topic of her father is still a delicate matter for Shay, Marion goes for the task at hand “Neolution is in search of a good suitor who can get close to one of the clones; they will casually find your name among the possible candidates and they will choose you”._

 

_“And how do you know they’ll choose me? Shay eyes her with skepticism._

 

_Marion has to chuckle at the sense of deja-vu; either way she explains “Because you fit the profile. You have military training, your father worked with them; you’re charismatic, empathic, beautiful… gay”._

 

_Shay scoffs “and what does me being gay have to do with this?”_

 

_“You see Shay…” Marion clasps her hands and rests them on the table “I’m guessing they are aiming for the one person who has access to all the scientific parts of the process, and she happens to be a lesbian”._

 

_“Oh”_

 

_“They will soon send someone to contact you externally, that person will be the bridge between you and Neolution; you won’t really have access to anything related to them. Now, your job will be to gain their trust and get inside; you have to find a way to get involved with them, to be able to see things first hand, like your father did_ _”._

 

_“Right” Shay cuts her off, again avoiding the topic of her father._

 

_“And for that to happen you have to do exactly what they tell you to do. No matter how crazy it sounds, how risky it is or how nonsensical you think it may be; you just do it no questions asked. I have people in Neolution already, not as deep as I would’ve wanted to; they have never been commissioned to any of the clones. But you will, which means if you do your job well, the heads will want to have a more personal approach with you and when that happens, I want you to take note of every location you visit; of every face you see, of every name you hear. Everything your eyes would be privy to, you must memorize; I want you to get all the information you can while you are with them”._

 

_“Wow that’s…” Shay swallows, biting any comment on how complicated and life threatening the mission sounds “OK then, once I get all you need how do I contact you?”_

 

_“You won’t”_

 

_“What?”_

 

_Marion leans closer to Shay “to ensure the complete success of your infiltration we must not maintain any sort of contact. From the moment they reach you, you’ll be on your own; that’s how they have to see it and the only way it’s gonna work. When the time is right I’ll come for you. My people will let me know”._

 

_“OK…” Shay lets her body hit the back of the chair, wondering how in the world she would achieve all of that._

 

_+++++++++++++_

 

_Shay closes the door of her apartment and leans against it in a panic._

 

 

_‘Shit’ she breaths out, cursing in her mind. ‘Almost on a silver platter’._

 

_She then takes a look at the card in her hands._

 

_‘324b21?’_

 

_Just like everything else related to Cosima, she has no idea what it could mean._

 

 _‘Fuck’ she moves to the center of her apartment ‘fuck, fuck, fuck’_ _Shay lets out her frustrations. ‘Delphine knows she’s a target, she knows it, I saw it in her eyes; this was goodbye she knows she will be killed and she doesn’t care!’ she grabs her head with both hands ‘she was willing to kill for Cosima… she’s willing to die for her. Why the hell did she have to come here? Why she has to be the fucking martyr, fucking Delphine!_

 

_Shay’s phone buzzes. She sighs trying to sound calm and picks it up._

 

_“Yeah?”_

 

_“What did she want?” the Neolution contact asks._

 

_“She uh, she kinda gave me her blessing. She told me to ask Cosima to tell me the truth”._

 

_The man gasps in delight “excellent! This is going better than I thought. She must be terminated tonight’ he takes a brief pause ‘I’m sending you an address, I want you to be there waiting for her arrival. You have to intercept her before she gets inside, just do it at the parking lot. Shoot her once and leave; remember we will be watching you’._

 

_When she’s certain the call has ended; Shay walks to her bed, opens a secret compartment and retrieves the gun the man gave her the previous night._

 

_‘If Delphine would do anything to save Cosima, I sure as hell can do the same.’ Shay leaves the card on the night stand ‘for her, for Cosima’._

 

**…**

 

_She had been determined, she really had. But the moment Delphine turned around and uttered those words, all of her resolve crumbled._

 

_“What will happen to her?”_

 

_‘Even in her last moments her mind goes to Cosima, always Cosima’_

 

_Shay managed to put on a blank expression and seemed focused but when she pulled the trigger her hand faltered at the last second, causing the shot to enter Delphine’s side instead of her heart where she had initially aimed._

 

_‘An embarrassment to the army’ she thought._

 

_And just as she was told, Shay left immediately after, not giving a second glance to a certainly agonizing Delphine._

 

_It wasn’t until she was four blocks away, where she parked her car, that everything sank in._

 

_‘I killed someone. Not just anyone but the love of Cosima’s life’ Shay feels her body weaken; she supports herself on a nearby fence._

 

_‘What will happen to her?’_

 

_The question - so selfless; so desperate- still echoes in her head._

 

_And it comes to her, that she doesn’t really know how to answer it._

 

_Shay bends down and empties the contents of her stomach. Her eyes are unfocused, she feels like she’s going to faint so she rushes fast to her car._

 

_She means to start the engine and get out of there as soon as she can but she’s trembling, her hands can’t maintain a firm grip on the keys. She gives up and throws the keys on the passenger’s seat; leaning her head on the stirring wheel._

 

_‘Oh my God, Oh My God’ her chest finally lets it out and she begins sobbing. ‘I’m a murderer, I’m a murderer’._

 

_And before long she comes to the realization that along with Delphine, she killed any possibility of a future with Cosima._

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

“Oh and…” Shay remembers one more thing “the clone that was in the wheelchair, Rachel; was always with a little girl by her side”.

 

At this Marion’s cool exterior fades “did… did you talk to her, did she say something to you?”

 

“Yeah once; she came close to me and whispered in my ear something really strange”.

 

“wha… what was it” Marion holds tightly onto the pendant around her neck.

 

“She said: the black ship is nearing the fold”.

 

Marion gasps covering her mouth unable to conceal the smile on her face, tears pricking her eyes.

 

Shay looks at her confused “what’s wrong, do you know her?”

 

“Yes, yes I do” Marion doesn’t bother to hide her emotion “she’s my little girl; my Charlotte” She smirks proudly “and she’s making sure her sister joins us in the battle”.

 

Behind the glass, Delphine smiles; confident they will succeed.

 

“The bitch” Sarah mutters finally putting the pieces together.

 

Cosima for her part remains quiet, deep in thought. 

 

“Is there anything else?” a more collected Marion asks Shay.

 

Shay seems to consider the question “no, not that I can remember”.

 

“OK then” Marion makes a move to stand up but Shay grabs her wrist.

 

“Marion wait!”

 

The tall brunette stares at her expectantly.

 

“I… I just wanted to make perfectly clear that…” Shay swallows “that what I did was because they ordered me to. And you said I had to do whatever they asked, that was the only way they could trust me and that I could get all the information” her big blue eyes gaze into Marion’s face, her voice breaking “I didn’t want to do it Marion; I swear I really didn’t want to do it… and I’m sorry, I’m very sorry…” the last phrase is barely completed as Shay begins crying.

 

“I know, I know” Marion moves over to hug Shay.

 

There was no need for a clarification; everyone knew exactly what she was referring to.

 

Cosima, who at the words of her former lover looked up, now has her arms behind her head. She turns around not wanting to witness Shay’s vulnerability, not wanting to feel sorry for her.

 

Sarah observes her, not sure what to do.

 

Beside the door an unimpressed Delphine, in complete Elise mood, remains silent.

 

Marion waits until Shay has calmed down before detaching from the embrace “you completed your mission with excellence Shay, you got what we needed and I’m thankful for that” She grabs Shay’s hands “you have no idea how many lives you saved; your father would've been so proud of you”

 

Shay nods with her head down, a sad expression on her face.

 

“You know if he could, he would still be working with me; he is a true hero” Marion assures.

 

“Yeah I know” Shay’s lips tremble.

 

“In a way, it’s a blessing he’s not able to remember anything Shay; he doesn’t have to go through that torture anymore.”

 

A single tear slips down Shay’s cheek “sometimes that’s my only consolation”.

 

“Fuck” Cosima closes her eyes “what’s wrong with her father?” She asks Delphine without looking at her.

 

“He was diagnosed with Early-onset Alzheimer's disease ten years ago” the answer is fast and flat.

 

Some things start to make sense for Cosima now.

 

_That’s why she was so sad when I told her I was sick; she was thinking about her father._

 

But again she refuses to have any sort of feelings toward the woman she considers a traitor of the worst kind.

 

“I can’t be here anymore, I’m sorry” she moves past Delphine opening the door and exiting the small room.

 

Sarah follows immediately after.

 

**…**

 

It’s almost dawn; Sarah, Cosima and Delphine are in the office discussing the last details of the operation and Marion is giving instructions to what the sisters have to do once they go back.

 

Cosima is a few steps away in a chair listening but not participating actively in the discussion.

 

“…and remember, the phone I gave you yesterday, it’s the only line we can use to communicate” Marion warns “let’s try to keep it at a minimum; at least until my team arrives once we have everything settled. I’ll make sure to bring you back when necessary; now go and inform the rest, you all have to be prepared”.

 

When the three women stand up Cosima panics a little bit, knowing her time with Delphine will be cut short.

 

“Uh E…Elise” She addresses the blonde hesitantly.

 

“Yes Miss Niehaus?”

 

Cosima’s brows rise with admiration. She has to give it to Delphine; she’s doing an excellent job at being someone else.

 

“Uh just… just Cosima” she waves her hands dismissively with a nervous chuckle.

 

Marion observes the exchange with amusement. 

 

Sarah just rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.

 

After sending Sarah a death glare, Cosima continues “I was wondering if I could take some of the files you showed me, you know to keep them informed”.

 

“I don’t see why not, I’ll bring them to you”.

 

“Hey um, can I come with you?” Cosima tilts her head to the side.

 

“Sure. After you” Delphine lets Cosima pass by her as they leave the room.

 

Sarah opens her mouth and attempts to follow them, when Marion calls her.

 

“Sarah” she approaches her carefully “Elise is harmless; she would never do anything to hurt Cosima or any of you”.

 

“It’s not Elise I’m worried about”.

 

**…**

 

Delphine didn’t break character until she closed the door of her office.  Only then she sighs loudly waiting for Cosima to speak.

 

“I’m sorry but we are leaving and I… I really needed five more minutes with you” Cosima explains, her hands moving.

 

“It’s OK” Delphine smiles sympathetically.

 

Cosima stares at her trying to hold back her sentiments “I don’t wanna go” the next thing she knows she’s enveloped in familiar arms.

 

“You have to my love” Delphine kisses Cosima’s temple. “You have to help Sarah with the preparations.  Also I’ll be very busy here, updating the other base members that will arrive soon; it’s gonna be crazy”. She leans back to face Cosima “I promise I’ll bring you back here as soon as I can so we can continue with our conversation and maybe make some progress on the cure”.

 

This encourages Cosima. She exhales with resignation “alright” She holds the body in front of her really tight “I’m gonna miss you”.

 

“I’ll miss you too”.

 

And with a final kiss goodbye, they break the embrace and carry on with their tasks.

 

**…**

 

The cars and soldiers were ready to transport Sarah and Cosima to the private plane that would return them to Toronto.

 

Delphine had just helped Cosima into the vehicle when Sarah abruptly takes her by the arm; forcing her into a face to face confrontation.

 

Sarah stares straight into Delphine’s eyes, applying pressure to her grip.

 

Cosima and Marion watch them intently but none of them intervene.

 

“Is there something you need Miss Manning?” Delphine finally asks with an even tone of voice “Are you OK?”

 

For a couple more seconds Sarah holds her gaze until she shakes her head and lets go of the blonde’s arm.

 

“I’m sorry I just…” Sarah looks to the side, clearing her throat “Sorry” She rapidly gets inside the car next to Cosima. 

 

“We’ll be in contact” Marion comments before giving the order for the cars to proceed.

 

**…**

 

Shay, already in her room, splashes water on her face. For the first time that day, she looks at her reflection in the mirror, at the state of her face. No makeup, traces of dry tears on her cheeks, swollen eyelids; no sleep.

 

“Fuck” She takes a towel and turns around, not liking what she saw. 

 

Once she dried herself; Shay leaves the bathroom and walks to the bed where she lays down unceremoniously. She stares at the ceiling, caressing her wounded arm while recalling the long and complicated day she just had.

 

_It’s over; it’s over._

 

With her father and Cosima on her mind, and with a mixture of pain and relief, Shay cries out loud.

 

**…**

 

Sarah and Cosima, sat next to each other. They haven't exchanged one word since they left the base. Now, five minutes into the flight they have the liberty to process what happened in the past hours.

 

When everything starts to dawn on her, Sarah turns to her side to share her concerns with her sister, only to find her shivering.

 

“Cos!” Sarah grabs Cosima’s face with both hands to inspect her closely “shite” she grows alarmed as she notices the chattering of her teeth and how her eyes don’t seem to focus on anything.

 

“Cosima, hey talk to me” Sarah caresses Cosima’s cheeks sweetly trying to gain her attention “talk to me”.

 

It takes a few more tries before Cosima actually acknowledges her. Her eyes grow big as she opens her mouth.

 

“De… Delphine” she lets out in a whisper “Elise… they…” she can’t say anything else; her throat closes with emotion.

 

“Oh love” Sarah holds onto her sister for dear life; sensing their connection.

 

Both allow their feelings to flow freely for the time being. 

 

 


	10. Bête noire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the pleasure (and relief) to announce that from now on this fic will be focusing completely on Cophine (cause God! I don’t think I could handle more OB craziness anymore) I want to thank all those who take the time to leave a comment or a review; it’s a very important encouragement for me to continue writing, keep them coming!
> 
> *If you need a visual for the new character I recommend Troian Bellisario as Lauren, google it!

 

It was three weeks later before Cosima returned to the base. With the team already protecting the clone club in case Neolution attacked; Delphine thought Cosima would feel more at ease leaving her sisters. Using the excuse of working on the cure in a ‘proper lab’ and doing other relevant research, she felt she could bring Cosima back without much of a problem. Luckily Sarah was too busy with her own stuff to put up much of a fight; otherwise, the story would have been different.

 

When Cosima finally arrived, as Delphine had anticipated, things weren’t going as easily as the first day they reunited.

 

Both had the time to process the situation and think about the implications of it; questions, clarifications, and discussions were still necessary. Also it had been almost a year; they knew things were different now, and it would be difficult in trying to fix them. This time they were both cautious and a little shier, like testing the waters.

 

“Welcome back” Delphine greets Cosima at the entrance of the facility with a bashful smile.

 

“Hey, hi!” Cosima replies nervously.

 

Delphine then looks behind Cosima and states “that will be all for now, you are dismissed.”  

 

The soldiers that escorted Cosima departed immediately.

 

“Can I …?” Delphine takes Cosima’s small suitcase as she guides her inside the facility.

 

“Oh sure, tha-thank you.”

 

 As they begin their walk Delphine  informs Cosima  “uh since it's already late I was thinking that I could show you around today and first thing tomorrow we could start with the research.”

 

“Yeah, that sounds like totally cool.”

 

The awkwardness continued throughout the tour; both stealing glances at each other without saying anything remotely personal. After a while, they arrive at their final destination.

 

“This is your room” Delphine opens the door, leaving Cosima’s suitcase next to it. “Mine is the last one to the left” she points at the end of the hallway. “In case you need anything.”

 

“Ok” Cosima nods and enters the room, still facing Delphine.

 

They stand there in silence; Cosima expectantly, Delphine composed.

 

“Well…” Delphine says when Cosima doesn’t seem to require anything more from her “I’ll see you in the morning at seven in the cafeteria. Have a good night.” And just like that she retreats to her own room.

 

A bewildered Cosima opens her mouth but no words come out, she watches powerlessly as Delphine walks away. Frustrated she closes the door.

_And what were you expecting? A kiss goodnight?_

 

Cosima chuckles at her own naivety.

_Patience young padawan; you have to win her over again. She still pretty much acts like a freaking soldier but I bet I can peel those layers off and find the real Delphine. Just let things happen, let her come back to you, you have time._

 

With that decided, Cosima goes to bed, planning her next moves for the rest of her stay at the base.

 

The following day things went surprisingly well, probably because they were in a familiar area for the both of them; a lab. There they felt comfortable enough to start with small talk.

 

“And what’s your routine now? Like as a soldier and all” Cosima begins the discussion.

 

“Let me see…” Delphine’s head moves to the side while considering the question “I wake up at five and do some training for about two hours…”

 

“Two hours!!”

 

Delphine chuckles at Cosima’s astonishment “yeah, I know. It was hard at the beginning but now I’m used to it; I find it really relaxes me, keeps my mind focused you know?”

 

“Right obvs”

 

“Then at seven, as you can see for yourself, I have breakfast.”

 

“Breakfast? That was more like break-fat.  Dude now you eat like a freaking baby dinosaur or something.”

 

“What!” Delphine laughs blushing “shut up! I exercise now, I need more carbs and protein it’s only natural.”

 

As Cosima joins in the laughter she can’t help realize they’ve never had an interaction like this before; being casual and talking about nothing of importance.  She also notices that she misses the French accent that always accompanied her former lover’s speech. She wonders if she will ever hear it again.

 

“…and the rest of the day I just stay here at the lab or help Marion with some planning. How about you?”

 

They continued to interact in a similar fashion for the rest of the day. Feeling more at ease with each other but still not quite in the same place they were in the past.

 

That night, Delphine walked Cosima to her room again but this time her demeanor wasn’t as light as earlier in the day. Cosima noticed but didn’t mention it in case Delphine felt pressured.

 

“Cosima,” Delphine says, once they reach the door.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“We need to talk.”

 

Even though they were talking all day, Cosima knew what Delphine was referring to. “OK” she nods with a solemn expression.

 

Delphine looks to the side, suddenly nervous. Then she seems to come to a decision “tomorrow after breakfast?”

 

“Sure” Cosima stares at Delphine’s face; a mixture of emotions reflected in the blonde’s features.

 

She is biting her lips, like holding on; wanting something.

 

But then Cosima can see all of that disappear with a shake of her head.

 

“Alright, good night Cosima” with a final glance Delphine leaves her alone.

 

Once she’s behind the door Cosima lets her emotions get the better of her.

_Oh my God, she totally wanted to kiss me this time! And tomorrow she may want to talk about us? About getting back together?_

 

She smiles with excitement.  _'OK, OK maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, but I better be ready.'_ Cosima goes to the closet and chooses the best outfit for her encounter with Delphine. _'This is going good, really really good!'_

_…_

 

The next morning arrives and Cosima has barely gotten any sleep. She has spent all night trying to come up with possible scenarios and the appropriate words to say. She started to get dressed really early in the morning so by 6:45am she was ready and very anxious. 

_'She says she starts exercising at five, so I bet she’s already in her room getting changed. Should I go and pick her up for breakfast? Would she think I’m too presumptuous? cheeky? Ugh' -_ she debates mentally - _'oh fuck it!'_ And with that she moves down the hall to Delphine’s room.

 

Cosima’s hesitation lasts only a second in front of the door; she quickly knocks before she has a chance to lose her courage.

 

When the door opens, she looks up expectantly to greet her blonde love but in her place is a tall brunette, dressed in only a pair of panties and a worn out military t-shirt, that stands in front of her.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXX

****

**_A year ago_ **

_As Marion had told her the night before, she was currently filling Delphine in with all the pertinent information related to Elise._

_“The problem starts with the barren process; you may want to take a look at it when you find it suitable.” Marion states after Delphine asked for Elise’s synthetic sequences._

_“I will” Delphine replies scanning the data._

_“And this is Jennifer Adams” Marion hands Delphine a folder._

_Delphine opens the folder, and takes in the picture of a soldier attached to the first file. “And who’s this?”_

_“That’s…” Marion leans on the table “Elise’s lover.”_

_Delphine jerks her head up with eyes wide open._

_Marion had to physically conceal her smile “like I said lots in common.” She shrugs and continues with her explanation “Jennifer belongs to one of our confederate bases. She comes once a month to keep me updated with recent discoveries and progress, I give her instructions and the rest of her time she spends with Elise. She usually stays for two or three days. Her last visit was a few days ago, that means she’s not expected for another three weeks but either way I’m gonna postpone her next visit so that will give you enough time to prepare yourself.”_

_Overwhelmed Delphine only swallows and nods._

_“I actually think that would give us the chance to see if you are able to be a credible Elise. Let’s take it as a test so to speak; in that way you can improve whatever you need to.”_

_“OK uh OK” Delphine answers absentmindedly; visions of what could happen already bombarding her thoughts._

****

**_2 months after_ **

_Delphine was exhausted. It wasn’t enough with the_ _military training, the dialect coach, all the data regarding Neolution,  and the operation she had to deal with, but she also had to watch Elise’s footage every single day; reminding her constantly of her clone’s sacrifice and making her feel like shit. The worst part is she didn’t have time to dwell on it; she just had to move on and work hard on the mission. Her only consolation at the moment was seeing Cosima again and that was motivation enough for her to continue. So she quietly analyzes the videos, paying special attention to each of Elise’s words and mannerisms._

_Marion enters the video room a few hours later. “How is it going?” she asks standing by her side._

_“OK I suppose” Delphine replies, not taking her eyes away from the screen._

_“Good.” Marion takes a brief moment before adding “Just so you know Jennifer is coming on Friday.”_

_Delphine pauses the video, and remains silent._

_At the lack of response Marion offers “but if you think you can’t handle it yet I can postpone her visit to …”_

_“No, it’s fine” Delphine interrupts her “I… I think I can give it a try and see how it goes” her expression is full of insecurity and not at all convincing._

_Marion accepts the answer anyway, having in mind they really needed to test her abilities “OK then I’ll be the one talking to her first and informing her of your accident, the rest will be up to you.”_

_…_

_By Friday Delphine was a nervous wreck. She is sitting in Marion’s office waiting for Jennifer, who is currently talking with Marion. Delphine has been going over all the details very carefully in her head, and is hoping with all her being that everything goes without incident._

_…_

_“A coma!! She was in a coma!” shouts Jennifer in shock._

_“Yes, she remained in that state for about two weeks as a result of the concussion. But her recovery has been surprisingly fast and positive, she’s still under medical supervision but there’s no indication of a relapse. She actually began working with me again last week and so far she’s been doing just fine.”_

_Incredulity is written all over Jennifer’s face “and it didn’t occur to you to let me know about her condition the moment it happen?” she reproaches the older woman._

_“Actually Jennifer no it didn’t” Marion adopts her best ‘Top side’ stance “you are not a direct relative of Elise's nor her spouse; therefore I have no obligation to communicate anything to you related to her state of health. I am simply letting you know out of courtesy; because of the nature of your personal relationship with her and also because I don't want you to be alarmed in case you notice any unusual behavior on her part.”_

_“Wait, unusual? What do you mean unusual?”_

_“Even though she’s been progressing rapidly the doctors couldn’t assure me she will be one hundred percent the person she was before the concussion. At the moment she’s still presenting indications of partial amnesia, some personality changes and confusion._

_Jennifer clenches her jaw as she runs a hand through her hair, containing her anger “fuck” she mumbles to herself. She takes a moment to regain her composure before speaking again “can I see her now?”_

_“Of course, she’s in my off…” Marion observes the retreating figure of Jennifer “…ice.”_

_…_

_The door bursts open startling Delphine._

_“Elise!”_

_The young brunette moves toward Delphine and grabs her by the face._

_“Oh my God, are you OK?” Jennifer moves her head from one side to another inspecting the blonde and then runs her hand down Delphine’s contours._

_Basically being felt up by an unfamiliar–and attractive- woman has Delphine momentarily paralyzed. Until she makes eye contact with Marion, who is at the door, and indicating to her with her hands what she should be doing._

_“OK, OK that’s enough!” Delphine, getting into character, stands up forcing Jennifer to step back._

_“But Elise, your head…!”_

_“I’m fine Jesus Christ! Can’t you see me?”_

_Marion observes the interaction quietly._

_“Yeah I see you but you are not fine, you should be resting” She turns to the older woman “Marion I’m sorry but I think she should be resting.”_

_Delphine rolls her eyes “can you cut the drama already? What we need to do is get back to work, which was exactly what we were doing before you interrupted us, Marion?”_

_Jennifer was about to protest when Marion’s voice is heard._

_“Actually…” Marion steps inside her office “I think Jennifer is right. In your condition, I may have   forced you back to work too soon; we should take it slowly from now on.” She takes Delphine by the shoulder “we did enough for today. Why don’t you go and take the rest of the day off? It may be good for you.”_

_Delphine glares at Marion with a ‘what the hell are you doing’ look._

_For her part Jennifer sighs relieved “thank you Marion. C’mon you heard your boss let’s go” She holds Delphine by the hand and leads her out of the office._

_As they walk away, Delphine turns back to give Marion a terrified glance, to which Marion respond with a smile of encouragement._

_…_

_As soon as the door of Elise’s room is closed, Jennifer throws her duffel bag down and grabs Delphine’s face giving her a kiss. It catches the blonde off guard but she reciprocates it anyway._

_“Oh Elise” Jennifer stares at Delphine’s face “Are you sure you feel OK?”_

_Still rather dazed Delphine tries to remember how she’s supposed to respond “yeah, yeah I’m OK I just… I’m a little stressed out that’s all” she backs away to create some distance between them._

_“OK” Jennifer stands in the middle of the room._

_Delphine sits at the edge of the bed to gather her thoughts. With eyes on the floor she rehearses in her mind the common phrases Elise once used. When she thinks she has got it under control she looks up, only to see Jennifer undressing._

_“What… what are you doing” she utters doing her best to hide her nervousness._

_“What do you mean what am I doing? I’m gonna take care of you.”_

_Before she can even come up with a reply, Jennifer is in her panties and removing her bra._

_Delphine turns to the side gulping._

_“I wish you would’ve told me sooner” Jennifer comments while going to Elise’s closet. “I could’ve been here for you, you know?” She picks up a shirt and puts it on. She then faces Delphine with hands on her hips “look, I know where we stand alright? But I care for you Elise!” Jennifer slowly walks to Delphine and crouches in front of her “I want you to promise me you’ll let me know or have someone tell me if something happens to you OK?”_

_The blonde only nods not having anything to say._

_“Alright, now off with this” Jennifer pulls at Delphine’s shirt. “I’ll help you here” her hands already working on Delphine’s boots._

_‘Oh my God!’ Delphine panics inside. Of course she was expecting this to happen at some point, but she didn’t imagine it was going to be so soon. Nonetheless she strips off her shirt and waits for Jennifer to remove her belt. ‘What a perfect day to decide not to wear a bra huh?’ she laments internally._

_“Up”_

_At the command Delphine lifts her hips and watches helplessly while the other woman removes her pants. There’s nothing she can do, except wait._

_Jennifer stands up and gasps when she takes in Delphine’s almost naked body._

_“Where did your muscles go?!” Jennifer exclaims roaming her hands over Delphine’s shoulder and arms._

_The touch created a shiver that ran down Delphine’s spine; making it even harder for her to come up with something coherent to say._

_“This is so fucked up” Jennifer huffs with frustration. “C’mon lay down on the bed” she finally says._

_Delphine obeys moving into the center of the bed._

_“On your stomach”_

_‘Shit…’ Delphine does as she was told._

_Jennifer crawls onto the bed, straddles Delphine’s hips and sits on her ass._

_Delphine couldn’t help the blush that crept along her face at the feel of Jennifer's body on hers. She’s thankful the brunette can’t see her from her position._

_‘What is she gonna do; what is she gonna do…’  Delphine wonders with eyes closed shut, bracing herself for what is coming. She feels Jennifer’s weight shift and suddenly an involuntary moan escapes her lips._

_“Oh baby you are so tense” Jennifer coos as she applies more pressure onto Delphine’s back._

_‘A massage; a simple delicious and innocent massage!’ Delphine sighs already enjoying the ministration she didn’t know she needed so bad. The soft but firm hands on her back are slowly soothing her from all the tension she’s been enduring all this time. So she happily lets it happen._

_A few minutes into it and Delphine can feel her body starting to react with the physical contact. It may be the months without sex, the pretty girl performing the task or a mere physiological urge but she’s undoubtedly getting wet from it now. ‘This shouldn’t be happening’ she squirms willing her mind to take control over her body._

_Taking it as a sign of discomfort Jennifer stops and lets her body fall next to Delphine._

_“You OK? Did I hurt you?” her voice is laced with concern._

_It is now that they are face to face that Delphine can really appreciate the beauty of this woman; the brown of her eyes, the contours of her lips and the dimple on her chin. Also to her delight she notices how dilated the woman’s pupils are, the heavy breathing, the slightly parted lips. ‘She’s turned on too, Delphine concludes. And it’s probably what invites her to lean forward and connect her lips with Jennifer’s._

_Jennifer accepts the kiss gladly; making it even deeper. They continue to make out until Jennifer feels one of Delphine’s hands roam around her hip and then slides it under her t-shirt._

_“Ugh, wait” She puts her hand over Delphine’s to stop her from going any higher._

_“Hmm?”_

_“I don’t think this is a good idea Elise” Jennifer lets out with obvious reluctance._

_“Why not?”_

_“Cause you’re still not well” Jennifer tries to reason._

_Delphine sighs exasperated “I told you already I’m fine!_

_“But Marion said …”_

_“Shhh” Delphine puts a finger on Jennifer’s lips “do you want me to call Marion and ask her if we can fuck?”_

_Jennifer throws her head back laughing out loud “As tempting as it sounds to know her answer to that I’ll have to say no.”_

_While she’s still laughing Delphine takes the opportunity to hold onto Jennifer’s ass to get her close to her body._

_Jennifer gasps while making an effort to continue speaking “Elise uh…”_

_“C’mon…” Delphine whispers in the brunette’s ear knowing her will is already crumbling “I know you want to.”_

_That seems to do the trick because in an unexpected move, Jennifer has her on her back on the mattress._

_“OK,OK” Jennifer concedes straddling Delphine’s lap “on one condition…” as she proceeds to remove her t-shirt “I’m the one doing the whole job.”_

_“I can work with that…”_

_…_

_The morning greets Delphine with a pleasurable sensation in her body; it takes a couple of seconds for her to notice it's coming from her crotch. She looks down and the view that meets her is to die for: Jennifer’s head bobbing rhythmically between her legs. The vision provides enough stimuli to have her coming barely after two minutes._

_“Hmm” Jennifer climbs up her body with a satisfied smirk “don’t mind me I was having the breakfast of champions” she leans down to devour Delphine’s mouth._

_Tasting herself on Jennifer’s tongue makes Delphine forget all reservations about her lady-loving skills and flips them both, now positioning on top of the brunette._

_…_

_Leaning her back against the headboard, Delphine enjoys the sight of Jennifer’s naked form just four feet away, drinking from a bottle of water._

_Sensing she’s being observed Jennifer turns to Delphine with a flirty smile. She observes Delphine quietly and then shakes her head with a chuckle._

_Having witnessed her contemplation Delphine gets curious. “What?”_

_“It’s just…” Jennifer bites her lip “you’ve never let me top you before.”_

_‘Oh crap’ Delphine wished that she had been privy to Elise’s sex life information prior to their encounter. She’s about to give a response when Jennifer continues._

_“But I like this change” Jennifer shrugs “I for one don’t mind one bit to be in control from time to time.” She offers with a lustful glare._

_“Sounds like a plan” Delphine clears her throat wanting to change the subject “what time is it?”_

_“Nine forty two.”_

_“Shit” Delphine jumps out of bed and runs to the on-suite bathroom._

_“Let me guess, meeting with Marion?”_

_…_

_Delphine opens the office door, finding Marion already submerged in her work._

_The woman chances a glance at her “I’m deducing everything went well with Jennifer” she comments with a knowing grin._

_“Uh yeah, yeah” Delphine takes a seat in front of Marion “I still have to wait for the next couple of visits to be absolutely sure, but until then there’s been no inconvenience.”_

_“Well, if you keep distracting her like that I don’t think you’ll have any problems” Marion resists the urge to keep teasing the flustered blonde and carries on with their daily activities._

_…_

_By the third visit, Delphine has become a pro at handling Jennifer’s presence. They had fallen into what she assumes was the regular routine between Elise and the brunette; which included sex, lots of it._

_And now in bed, with a sleeping Jennifer in her arms she wonders if this is how Cosima felt while she was dating Shay; just a simple woman with whom she can forget about imminent death, heartbreaks and betrayal. A pretty face that offers light conversation, comfort and glorious sex with whom she can share mundane tasks like eating or exercising._

_Now she understands why Cosima clung onto that affair with such stubbornness. It was because she wanted to forget, because she wanted to be normal, because with Shay in that tiny apartment nothing else mattered, nothing could hurt her… or at least that’s what she thought._

_Delphine sighs looking at Jennifer pondering also if in moments like this, in the arms of the other woman, Cosima ever thought about her._

 

XXXXXXXXXX


	11. Tête-à-Tête

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cosima and Jennifer have a little chat (catfight!)

 

 

_XXXXXXXXXXXX_

**The previous night**

_After she escorted Cosima to her room, Delphine entered her own and leaned against the door releasing the breath she wasn't aware she was holding in._

_“What the hell were you thinking?” Delphine chastises herself “you can’t do that, it’s not the right time; you can’t lose control now!” She runs a hand through her hair ‘you need to talk to her first, come clean. You have to sort out this situation before you can start entertaining the thought of retaking your relationship, not a minute before!’_

_With that decided Delphine needed some distraction; she sat down at her desk, opened the laptop and began working on new information she received that day._

_An hour later her phone buzzes._

_“Go ahead” Delphine listens to her interlocutor. Hearing the message she stands up abruptly “uh… yeah, yeah; let her in.” She ends the call and begins nervously pacing in her room._

_‘Fuck! Why now, this is fucking unbelievable!’_

_Delphine breaths in and out slowly to help calm down her sudden anxiety while trying to come up with solutions to her new predicament. When ideas start to pop up, she leaves her room. She briefly pauses in front of Cosima’s door swallowing then keeps walking toward the entrance of the facility._

_Upon reaching the main door she opens it quickly, her visitor already expecting her._

_“What are you doing here?” It’s the first thing that comes out of her mouth._

_“Nice to see you too Elise” Jennifer replies amused and slightly offended, pushing pass Delphine._

_“I thought you were coming next week” Delphine inquires, still not closing the door._

_“Yeah, something came up” Jennifer shrugs, rearranges her duffel bag and turns to walk further into the building._

_“Wait!” Delphine grabs her by the arm. “You can’t stay here.”_

_“What? Why?”_

_“You can sleep in the dorms for tonight; tomorrow we'll find you better accommodations. C’mon let’s go.” Delphine pulls her along._

_The way Delphine avoided her questions, made Jennifer suspicious. She silently watches the expressions on the blonde’s face, studying them carefully until realization hits her “oh wait… she’s here isn’t she?”_

_Delphine releases Jennifer’s arm, doing her best to hide the shock at being caught “yes, she’s here.”_

_“Wow, what perfect timing,” Jennifer chuckles at the irony of the situation. Putting aside her frustration she goes on, “Well whatever. As I said something came up and it’s very important we discuss it with Marion; besides…” she pauses gulping “there’s something I need to tell you.”_

_Delphine still thinks it's a bad idea, but watching Jennifer with such vulnerability in her eyes makes her cave in “alright, let’s go.”_

_Already inside the bedroom Delphine stands in front of Jennifer waiting for her to speak._

_“OK,” Jennifer clears her throat, her nervousness evident now “things are getting complicated with our team in Europe, they need someone there who is immersed in the whole thing and… well I was thinking about going myself.”_

_“Whoa, hold on a second” Delphine intervenes “we have discussed this before Jennifer, you stay at your base as a team leader and that’s it, there’s no need for you to go to the battlefield.”_

_“You don’t get it, Neolution’s troops have multiplied, we are constantly losing people and bringing in new ones; they need someone to guide them in the right direction, someone who has been in direct contact with the mission and that’s me.”_

_“No, no way! It’s too dangerous you could…” Delphine stops just before uttering the word she fears the most._

_Jennifer sighs “I know that’s why I…” She steps closer to the blonde “I wanted to come here and tell you that…” she swallows locking her eyes with Delphine’s “I love you Elise.”_

_The words hit Delphine like a bucket of cold water; her mouth gapes open in amazement._

_Jennifer laughs blushing “wow, I bet that’s the face a straight guy has when his girlfriend tells him she’s pregnant.”  She tries to minimize the importance of her confession._

_Delphine completely ignores the last remark, finally mumbling “why didn’t you tell me before?”_

_At this Jennifer’s seriousness comes back and replies with conviction “because you don’t like to talk about feelings.”_

_Hearing this causes the blonde much sadness, understanding that just like her, Elise had to push away any emotional involvement for the sake of the mission._

_“Well and also…”_ _Jennifer continues interrupting Delphine’s contemplations_ _“I know where your heart and mind are aiming” she’s unable to hide the disappointment in her own voice._

_“Jennifer…” Delphine can’t stand the look in the brunette’s eyes._

_“Shhh” Jennifer puts a finger on her lips “there’s no need for you to say anything El; I’m a big girl I knew what I was getting into.” She then looks down while considering her next words “I suppose I always had feelings for you, I just wasn’t aware of it. It wasn’t until your damn concussion that I…” Jennifer stares into Delphine’s eyes again “that I realized I was completely in love with you.”_

_A horrible feeling of guilt settles in Delphine’s gut at the admission. She realizes now that Jennifer hadn't fallen in love with Elise but with her._

_‘Oh shit.’_

_Delphine never meant for it to happen, Elise was just a part she played to keep the operation alive and apparently she did it too well… or maybe too bad. But here she stood in front of a beautiful brave woman who had provided her not only with pleasure but also with companionship and love. Jennifer has everything any person would look for in a partner but in this case unfortunately she’s unable to reciprocate the sentiment, because her heart already belongs to someone else._

_‘But not right here, not now. Right now I’m Elise Cote and this gorgeous woman has just declared her love for me; and I’ll be damn if I don’t do something about it._

_With that thought in mind, and forgetting all about Cosima and the mission for the time being, she leans forward grabbing the brunette by the back of her neck and bringing her in for a hungry kiss._

_Jennifer moans, taken aback and delighted but then she halts the kiss after a few seconds “Elise wait…” she backs away “you don’t have to do this.”_

_“I know but I want to” Delphine moves in closer to connect their lips again but Jennifer puts a hand on her chest._

_“Please stop, I don’t want you to feel obligated to…”_

_“Shut up already!” Delphine exclaims startling her lover. She now takes Jennifer by her chin with force “would you just shut the fuck up and let me fuck you?”_

_Jennifer’s eyes widen with surprise at the boldness of the blonde._

_“It is an order” Delphine practically growls never taking her eyes from the brunette’s._

_A lustful and playful smirk adorns Jennifer’s features at the sexy command “sir yes sir.”_

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Cosima watches stunned at the woman with the disheveled hair.

 

Jennifer, still in a sleepy haze, scratches her head acknowledging the intruder “who are…” but after a quick face scan she’s able to recognize the person “Oh shit! You are…” Now completely alert she looks at Cosima up and down; her eyes widening, her jaw slacking a bit.

 

Observing her reaction and considering where it is coming from, causes Cosima to regain her composure and reply in her usual cheeky manner “yup I’m the clone… boo!”

 

Her words don’t have the desired effect though because Jennifer continues to stare at her dumbfounded.

 

“But… but you look so…”

 

“Human?” Cosima offers with sarcasm.

 

“Yeah…”

_‘You can totally ask her how human I can be’_ Cosima is so tempted to add but refrains; instead she just stands there irritated and uncomfortable waiting for the other woman to come out of her stupor. Lucky for her it happens soon enough.

 

“Oh wow sorry um…” Jennifer shakes her head “you’re looking for Elise” She states the obvious.

 

“Mmm hmm” Cosima nods, biting off any cynical remark.

 

“Well she’s kinda uh…” Jennifer turns her head back “zonked out.”

 

She’s not sure if it's curiosity or just plain masochism but Cosima sneaks a peek inside the bedroom. She regrets it immediately as nothing is going to remove from her mind the vision of Delphine in bed lying naked on her stomach with her back exposed amongst the tangled sheets.

 

“I see” Cosima manages through clenched teeth. It takes every ounce of her will power not to scream or start hitting something.

 

“But as soon as she wakes up, I’ll let her know you were looking for her” Jennifer speaks more composed.

 

The smile Cosima forces on her lips is undeniably fake but right now she doesn’t care anymore “yeah you do that, she knows where to find me” with that Cosima departs quickly from the awkward scene. 

 

….

 

Forty minutes later Delphine enters the lab like it was any other day. “I’m sorry about my tardiness” she says while putting on her lab coat “I had a situation to deal with.”

 

Cosima doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry ‘ _I can only guess what kind of situation that was’_ the words only spoken in her mind.

 

Delphine passes behind Cosima to reach her usual spot. “I’m afraid I will be having a very busy day today, Marion may need my assistance at any moment.” She takes a seat, “hope that’s not an inconvenience for you.”

 

Cosima exhales with anger ' _Oh so this is Elise not Delphine, great.'_

 

She seriously considers standing up and giving Delphine a big round of applause for doing a great job at pretending to be Elise. She would have totally bought it. She would have believed Delphine didn’t care one bit about her feelings or what was going through her mind… if it weren’t for the strong smell of soap and lotion - probably applied in a rush -coming from the blonde’s body.

_‘To cover up what? the smell of sex? Pathetic!’_  She thought Delphine was smarter than that.

 

A couple hours passed with them exchanging the necessary words that pertained to the job.  To Cosima’s frustration Delphine continued with her unalterable ‘Elise persona’. She tried so hard to remain as unaffected as the blonde but in the end she couldn’t help but voice her annoyance.

 

“So, you have a girlfriend now huh?”

 

Delphine continues typing some data as she responds “no, not really.”

 

 “Oh a fuck buddy then, awesome!”

 

 “In any case, she’s Elise’s fuck buddy.”

 

“I see;” Cosima replies while turning a page in her folder with force “being Elise comes with a great package deal, sex included!”

 

The long sigh Delphine lets out makes Cosima optimistic; it means she’s in some way affecting her.

 

“I don’t know what to tell you Cosima, she was with Elise long before I took her place.” It wasn’t exactly an explanation, but Delphine felt some information was in order.

 

The answer she receives doesn’t fully satisfy her so Cosima presses on. “How long?”

 

The blonde stops her work to consider the question. “They’ve been seeing each other for about two years I guess.”

 

“No, I mean how long have you been…”

_“Fucking her”_ is what she really meant to say but she swallows the words.

 

“…seeing her?”

 

“Oh” Delphine clears her throat “Around nine or ten months.”

 

By this point Cosima had enough “wow” she stands up, closes her eyes and puts both hands on the lab table “when were you planning on telling me about her?

 

“That’s what I was going to talk to you about this morning but… something came up.”

 

Cosima huffs “and what exactly were you going to tell me huh? Sorry Cosima I have a woman living with me now so you must forgive me if things go slow between us!”

 

Delphine exhales “she doesn’t live here; she belongs to another base, she comes here to keep us updated. I thought I had time for us to talk about my situation but there was an emergency.”

 

“Oh an emergency” Cosima chuckles bitterly.

 

Dropping her attitude a little bit Delphine explains “look Cosima I’m sorry you had to find out this way. I swear I was going to tell you about everything. I really wanted to have this situation out in the open so there wouldn't be any secrets between us but she arrived sooner than expected and there was nothing I could do.”

 

“No I think you did plenty” Cosima puts her hands on her head.

 

The blonde shakes her head holding back the urge to roll her eyes.

 

Neither of them say a word for several minutes.

 

Feeling helpless Cosima finally lets out “what am I supposed to do now? Put up with you and her screwing around while you hide behind Elise?”

 

“What! I’m not…” Delphine stops midsentence exasperated, expressing now what has been on her mind for a while. “This is exactly what I wanted to avoid; I can’t do this Cosima I can’t lose control. I have to remain focused for the operation. I have to be able to think to make things work. And having you here is just…” She breathes out “maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to…”

 

Cosima’s temper drops immediately “hey, hey …” She moves toward Delphine “don’t say that please don’t say that” she reaches Delphine’s face with her hand.

 

 

Delphine can only close her eyes at the touch. She had missed it so much, she’s starting to get emotional and it is confusing her. “Cosima…”

 

“Shhh, I’m sorry” Cosima brings their foreheads together “I promise I’ll try to cope with this OK? It’s gonna be shitty but I’ll try just… don’t think that way.” She gives Delphine an eskimo kiss “I’ve been away from you for far too long, I don’t care what you do or who you’re doing it with just ... don’t you dare let me go again, please don’t ever leave me.” 

 

She can feel the love. She can feel the burning fire warming her chest and making her feel more alive than ever. There’s nothing Delphine wants more than to kiss Cosima and let herself go. But something is stopping her, a voice deep in her mind warning her this is not the right time, that she has to wait. “I…”

 

And just at that moment the door buzzer disturbs them.

 

They break apart in surprise.

 

Delphine gives a shy glance to Cosima that works as an apology and moves over to check the security monitor.

_‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!!’_

 

By now Delphine is sure that life is definitely playing a sick joke on her because the intruder happens to be none other than Jennifer.

 

She doesn’t even bother to look at Cosima _‘the hell with it’_ and proceeds to open the door slightly “Yeah?” Delphine asks the other brunette with a somber stand.

 

“Sorry to interrupt but Marion needs to see you in the office” Jennifer answers with a similar attitude. 

 

“Uh” Delphine is about to leave the lab when she remembers something “I have to finish my report. I’ll join you in five minutes.” She attempts to close the door but Jennifer stops her.

 

“In that case I’ll wait for you” without farther ado she enters the lab.

 

There is no way to describe what Cosima or Jennifer felt the moment they locked eyes.

 

Delphine observes the interaction with apprehension deciding to finish her report as quickly as possible. She settles back in her chair while Jennifer starts speaking.

 

“Hello, I want to apologize for my behavior this morning” she takes a few steps toward Cosima never breaking eye contact “you must understand it’s not every day that you get to see… you know.”

 

“A walking experiment?” Cosima counteracts holding her gaze intensely.

 

Jennifer chuckles “well yeah I suppose.”

_“If only you knew”_ it’s the thought that crosses Delphine and Cosima’s mind.

 

“But I would like to introduce myself properly this time” Jennifer stops and turns to look at Delphine “Am I allowed to that ma’am?” she asks with a mix of sarcasm and seriousness.

 

Delphine shrugs still focusing on her work “that’s not up to me.”

 

With assurance Jennifer goes on “I’m Jennifer Adams” she extends her hand.

 

“Cosima Niehaus.” Cosima takes the hand offered and holds it tightly.

 

“Oh a firm grip” Jennifer remarks reciprocating the strength and then letting go, “I like a woman with a strong hand” she smirks.

 

“Yeah ditto.”

 

Both take a look at Delphine discreetly, while the blonde speeds up her typing.

 

“So, what do you guys do when you’re not on duty?” Cosima gives Jennifer a once over “Jump the catwalk and model military gear?”

 

Jennifer bursts out laughing.

 

 For her part Delphine didn’t find anything funny in what Cosima said. Her only concern is to get Jennifer out the room and fast.

 

“And she’s funny too! Wow!” Jennifer says when she has recovered from her mirth “Smart and funny, you’re definitely a keeper.”

 

Again both brunettes immerse in some sort of eye battle.

 

“OK!” The blonde exclaims unable to stand the tension anymore “I’m done. Jennifer?” Delphine approaches the door expecting the brunette to follow her.

 

“I just remembered I have to pick up something I need to show Marion. Go ahead I’ll be there in a minute.”

 

The words from Jennifer didn’t register in her brain at first. Delphine had to take a few seconds to actually get the meaning of her phrase and that’s when she freaks. She throws a glance toward Cosima with worry, but she’s only met with a challenging posture.

_“You can go I have this under control”_ Cosima seems to be telling her with her eyes.

 

Still full of concern but not wanting to disregard Cosima’s decision Delphine leaves the room.

 

As the sound of her footsteps fade, Jennifer directs her attention back to Cosima.

 

“You work fast I see” she puts her hands behind her back “Is that a clone thing?”

 

Cosima drops everything she’s doing to face the other brunette completely “no, not really that is all me, a Cosima thing” she replies lifting her chin.

 

Jennifer grins “OK then Cosima, you seem like a very reasonable woman so let me tell you something” she walks around Cosima “I’m a soldier and I’ve trained for over a decade to know how to engage in battle, how to confront the enemy. I know when I can win and also when it’s time to retreat as I know I will lose.” Jennifer stops “and this is a battle I lost a long time ago.”

 

The frown showing on Cosima’s face makes Jennifer shake her head.

 

“Let’s not play stupid here. We both know what is going on between you and Elise; I didn’t think it would be that fast but that’s the way it is.” Jennifer shrugs, “Elise is a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it; and unfortunately for me what she wants is you.”

 

By now Cosima is completely confused. ‘ _Has Delphine been talking to her about me? What does she mean a long time ago?’ S_ he makes a mental note to ask Delphine about this later. “Where are you going with this?” Cosima goes straight to the point without giving anything away.

 

With a deep sigh Jennifer responds “the thing is I’m leaving in three days to fight Neolution in their very own headquarters and well you can imagine how it might turn out.”

 

She may not like the girl but the insinuation of her possibly dying doesn’t sound very appealing to Cosima. She quietly waits for Jennifer to continue.

 

“You see, I’m not one to ask for favors but under these circumstances I feel compelled to do so.” Jennifer lowers her head for a second and lifts it back up again searching Cosima’s eyes. “I need you to step back while I’m here. I need you to stay away from Elise on the days I have left in this facility”

 

Cosima’s eyes open wide as she wasn't expecting this request.

 

 “I think it’s not too much to ask considering I’m risking my life for you and your clones.”

 

“Sisters” Cosima corrects her immediately.

 

“Oh OK.” Jennifer is surprised by the naming but still carries on “So I’m basically going into the lion’s den to make you and your sister’s free and all I ask in return is for you to give me three days to spend with who is at this very moment still my woman.”

 

 

Cosima gulps angrily. She has to stop herself from lashing out and instead she replies “I’m not asking you to do any of that for me; isn’t that kinda your duty as a soldier and shit? Why would I do what you’re asking me?”

 

“Like I said already I have accepted my fate, she’s gonna be with you and that has been made very clear. Three days is nothing compared to all the time you will have with her. After that time I promise I will be out of your life or if you’re lucky, out of the picture entirely.” Jennifer chuckles with cynicism. “Three days alone with her and that’s it. Can you do that?”

 

Cosima wishes she could say no, wishes she could send this woman straight to hell but her conscious won’t let her. Despite of her soldierly stance and her firmness, there is vulnerability in the way Jennifer is speaking. It must have cost her a lot to have the courage to request something like this. She imagines there must be a reason ‘s _he is in love with Delphine’_ she concludes. At the expectant look she is receiving from Jennifer, Cosima clears her throat as she has already made up her mind.

 

“Fine” she concedes making evident she dislikes the idea “now leave, I have lots of things to do” with that said, Cosima returns to her previous activities. She pretends not to hear the breath Jennifer lets out at her response.

 

“Um yeah, yeah” Jennifer moves back to the door with relief. She is about to cross the threshold when she stops briefly “Thank you” she utters softly before exiting the room.

 

After hearing the door closing behind her, Cosima throws the papers she was holding. She is breathing fast and is full of rage; she puts her hands on the table to support her body. Suddenly she starts hitting the surface repeatedly until her hands hurt. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

 

…

 

Late in the afternoon Delphine reenters the lab. 

 

Cosima tenses but doesn’t turn to acknowledge her.

 

“Hey! Um that took me longer than I expected; but we still have a couple hours before dinner to…”

 

“No we don’t” Cosima interrupts while she starts gathering her stuff.

 

“Huh?”

 

“While your girlfriend is here I want you to stay away from me. That includes not seeing you here in the lab either. Don’t worry I’m a very capable scientist I can manage on my own for a few days”

 

“Cosima what…?”

 

“Please don’t force me to lock myself in my room, I would much rather be working in the comfort of the lab” with her laptop and files in hand she walks past Delphine to the door, adding in the process “enjoy your fuck fest.”

 

…

 

Delphine returns to her bedroom to find Jennifer in bed reading a book.

 

“That was fast” Jennifer says leaving the book on the bedside table.

 

“What did you tell her?” Delphine questions as she moves to the end of the bed.

 

“Well” Jennifer crawls toward the end of the bed until she’s in front of Delphine “just the truth.” She puts her arms around Delphine’s neck “that I want you all to myself for the time being because I could die soon.”

 

“Hey!” Delphine reprimands “don’t say that, you’re not gonna die!”

 

“You’re sweet” Jennifer leans forward and gives Delphine a peck “now can you please forget about everything else and be mine for the next seventy two hours?” She begins unbuttoning the blonde’s shirt.

 

It shouldn’t after all this time, but it still marvels Delphine how easily she’s able to do so when she has Jennifer sexually offering herself to her.

 

…

 

Lying in the bed on her side, Cosima tries in vain to get some sleep. She can’t stop thinking about Delphine and Jennifer and the things they are doing not too far away from her.  She tosses and turns but the images continue to crop up in her mind; it is hell, it is torture. Now that she is alone, she wonders if Delphine felt like this when she found out about Shay. If she had these same images in her mind at night alone in her bed. Cosima is suddenly stricken by a sense of guilt; imagining she was the cause of so much pain and suffering on the blonde. It makes her feel sick.

_‘How could I have been so cruel? How could I‘ve made her go through that after all she did for us? I had a choice and I decided to do it; she didn’t have one, she had to do what she felt had to be done. Ugh I’m so fucking selfish’_ Cosima regrets as tears roll down her face.

 

Already giving up on sleeping and with her head on the pillow crying bitterly, she prays to whatever deities out there for Delphine to always keep her on her mind, for her -despite all the trouble and pain - to still love her.

 

 


	12. Arcane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cosima and Delphine try to fix their issues. A secret is revealed.

 

 

Cosima never imagined three days could last so long. She’s glad the three days are finally over and she can walk from her room to the lab and vice versa without fearing she will cross paths with Delphine or worse, Jennifer.

 

That morning she went to the lab with the tranquility of knowing Jennifer is no longer there, but with the uncertainty of how things with Delphine would be from now on.

 

Delphine arrives a few minutes after Cosima. She enters the lab without saying a word, puts on her lab coat and walks slowly toward the brunette.

 

 As Delphine approaches, Cosima observes her quietly.

 

Now a couple steps away from her, Delphine grabs a chair and sits down in front of Cosima. She takes a deep breath and begins speaking “Elise and Marion came for me after my visit with you at Bubbles; we did the switch then. Marion brought me here later and…”

 

Delphine spent hours explaining in detail everything that happened to her during the year they were apart.

 

This gave Cosima a new insight into the whole situation. She was able to understand the reasoning behind Delphine’s behavior and decisions.  She might not like all of it but at least everything made more sense now.

 

While eating in the cafeteria, Cosima took the opportunity to question Delphine about loose ends and topics she wanted answered in general. Delphine responded to all of her inquiries serenely and tried to be as specific as possible. 

 

 Looking around suddenly Cosima begins to wonder “Why haven't I seen Marion here?”

 

“Uh...” Delphine hesitates for a brief moment “She eats with Shay on the other side of the base.”

 

Cosima tenses “she’s still here huh?”

 

“It’s for security reasons” Delphine justifies “Neolution is looking for her all over the world; Marion thinks she will be safer here at this base.”

 

Despite knowing Shay’s background and motives, Cosima still can’t find it in her heart to forget what she did. “Can you please make sure we don't run into each other while she is here?” She looks down as she makes the request.

 

“Don’t worry that has been taken care of.”

 

“Good.”

 

Sensing the change in the mood, Delphine decides it's time to do some work. “We should get back to the lab; I want you to keep me updated with all of your research.”

 

“Sure let’s go.”

 

**…**

 

The next few days went well for the most part.

 

Cosima found Delphine to be more accessible now, but oddly quiet. She would catch her being distracted or worried and that annoyed Cosima because she knew the reason for Delphine’s concern. When Marion or a soldier came to the lab, Delphine’s immediate query was always the same “any news on Company C?” No matter how many times she heard the question, it always felt like a slap in the face to Cosima. She promised to cope with it, to be reasonable but that didn’t stop her insecurities or fears.

 

It all blew up days later when a preoccupied Marion came to the lab along with a few soldiers.

 

“She’s fine” Marion answers before Delphine can even open her mouth. “Mr. Brown has come here with news; and it's not good.” She turns to the man and asks him to proceed.

 

“I’m afraid we are still in need of people who can lead the new troops. For now we are only putting the best soldiers in charge. They are willing and capable but without the appropriate guidance we are in danger of sending them out, only to be killed.”

 

Marion and Delphine exchange looks.

 

“Maybe we can have ‘speed training’ sessions for the ones that are about to be sent out, so they can become leaders” Marion offers as an alternative.

 

“Sounds like a good start” The high ranking soldier seems to agree.

 

“In the meantime…” Delphine adds “I could go incognito and teach what I know to the ones already there.”

 

“uhm” Marion is about to express her disapproval when a voice interrupts her.

 

“No!” Cosima sprints toward Delphine, “you’re not going anywhere.”

 

Delphine is surprised by Cosima’s outburst at first. She turns her head to watch the confused expression on the visitor and the two other soldiers and how Marion threw a glance at her with a clear ‘I told you so’ meaning.

 

 That makes her react “Cosima, stay out of this.” She tries to sound as composed as possible. “These are military matters we’re dealing with here; they are none of your concern.”

 

“But you are of my concern” Cosima sticks a finger into Delphine’s chest “And you’re not going anywhere you hear me?” She clutches the blonde by the collar “you’re staying here with me!”

 

Delphine’s face morphs into one of rage. When a soldier moves forward with intentions of removing Cosima, Delphine snaps “Don’t move!”

 

The soldier halts at the order.

 

“All of you!” She faces the three men in the room “out!”

 

They leave the lab quickly.

 

Once she is sure the door is closed, Delphine addresses Cosima, who still has a firm grip on her shirt. “Do you want to blow my cover and have me lose the respect of my men?” She grabs both of Cosima’s wrists. “Do you want to put all of our lives at risk? Cause that’s exactly what you are doing with your little tantrums.”  Delphine now detaches Cosima’s grip on her, but still holding her by the wrists. “Listen to me, listen to me carefully” she says between clenched teeth “there will be no more of these scenes on your part. I will not allow it. If there is another repeat I will have you sent back to your sisters and we will have no further contact of any sort until I make sure this fucking war is over. Do you understand?” She pulls away from Cosima making her shake and then lets go of her wrists with force.

 

 Cosima almost loses her balance but with some effort succeeds at remaining upright as Delphine passes by her. She turns in time to see the blonde throw down her white coat and walk out of the lab.

 

“And that… was Elise Cote.”

 

The words startle Cosima, remembering that Marion was still in the room. She turns to face the woman in awe.

 

“The only thing missing is something broken on the floor…” Marion purses her lips and continues “or someone.”

 

The fear in Cosima’s eyes at the statement is evident. The mere thought of Delphine acquiring that level of aggressiveness was scary to her. She really hoped that what she just witnessed was the worst of it.

 

“Don’t worry” Marion brings Cosima out of her trance “I will never allow her to go there.” She gets closer to Cosima reaching out for her arm “I already lost one of my girls, I’m not about to lose another one.” Marion gives her arm a little squeeze before letting go. She then departs in search of Delphine.

 

Standing alone in the lab gives Cosima the opportunity to calm down and analyze what just transpired a few minutes ago. Her mind seems to process the events quickly “shit.” She holds both sides of her head “what did I do!” Cosima laments realizing she probably scared Delphine away.

_‘I can’t let her push me away again I can’t lose her.’_ She starts to come up with ways to fix her horrible mistake.

 

**…**

 

The following night, having found a solution to the problem with the troops, Delphine tries to get some rest after more than a day without sleep. She leans against the headboard of her bed rubbing her temple. She almost dreads not having to deal with this issue anymore because now she has a chance to think and frankly she doesn’t feel like it at the moment.

 

A soft knock breaks the stillness in the room.

 

Delphine groans leaning her head back. She knows exactly who is at the door. She seriously was in no mood to discuss this right now but couldn’t find the will to fight it anymore. “Come in” she utters defeated.

 

A shy Cosima makes her way into the bedroom. “Hey” She waves her hand nervously.

 

“Hey” Delphine replies trying not to sound exasperated.

 

Sensing the heavy mood but noticing that Delphine is giving her an opportunity to explain, Cosima decides to come straight to the point. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I really don’t know what came over me.” She walks slowly over to the bed “well I think I kinda know” Cosima sighs “I’m just scared of losing you Delphine”

 

Delphine looks up watching Cosima intently.

 

“You have no idea what I went through when I thought I lost you, I…” Cosima’s voice cracks “my life didn’t make sense anymore; I’m not even sure how I made it this far. Then suddenly you came back to me and…” almost by inertia she sits on the bed by the blonde’s side “I don’t think I could survive if something really happens to you if you…”

 

“Hey, hey” Delphine can’t stand seeing Cosima in this state. “Come here.” She pulls her closer and surrounds Cosima with her arms “I’m here with you OK? I promise I will never leave you.”

 

Cosima’s heart skips a beat upon listening to the last sentence. She clutches tightly at Delphine’s shirt at the memory of those same words and how they brought her back to life once.

_‘Don’t be afraid, I will never leave you.’_

 

She still can’t believe it is a promise Delphine managed to fulfill with success.Cosima cries while holding onto her love.

 

“Shh it’s OK” Delphine kisses Cosima’s temple.

 

After a while when Cosima’s crying had subsided Delphine decides to apologize herself “I’m sorry for snapping at you like that. I got carried away and I really feel bad about it. I don’t know, it’s just I’m…”

 

“No, no it’s fine” Cosima leans back a bit “I’m the one who got carried away. I should know better; you have new responsibilities now and I almost ruined it all!” She sniffs “you’re under so much stress with all this mess and I get it. You have nothing to apologize for.”

 

The blonde nods without saying anything else.

 

Cosima pulls away to take in her surroundings for the first time “So this is Elise’s room huh?”

 

“Yeah” comes the soft voice of Delphine.

 

“Oh” Cosima recalls the conversation she had with Jennifer days before “I wanted to ask you something” She rearranges herself on the bed “Jennifer told me that she’s known that you - well Elise and I would end up together. What did she mean? What did you tell her?”

 

At this Delphine sits up properly in bed letting out a long exhale. Her mind evoking a quote Marion said to her the very first day she stepped into the same room.

_“You will find out you two had a lot in common.”_

_XXXXXXXXXXX_

_The second visit from Jennifer came only three weeks after their first encounter.  Marion teased Delphine by saying she probably made such a good impression on Jennifer that she couldn’t wait any longer to see her again._

_As expected they ended up in bed fairly quick; and that’s exactly where they were now. Delphine found herself lost in thought, while Jennifer slept. Her thoughts always drifted to Cosima and how she was dealing with her absence after three months. She was so absorbed in her reverie that it took her a few moments to notice that her lover was awake._

_“Ugh, don’t do that!” Jennifer groans as she lazily drapes a hand over Delphine’s face._

_Delphine slaps the hand away “do what?” She asks genuinely confused._

_“I can hear you thinking about the clone.”_

_Panic settles in Delphine as the idea of being caught crosses her mind._

_“I mean I get it,” Jennifer props up on one elbow “She’s hot and intriguing with her dreads and shit but isn’t that kinda inappropriate? You’re supposed to take care of her not wanting to screw her.”_

_‘Screw her?’ Delphine becomes intrigued. She has never mentioned Cosima to Jennifer before which means Elise had. ‘But why?’ Delphine decides that it is time for her to do what she’s been avoiding for a while; going to Elise’s closet and fetching one specific item._

__

_**…** _

_When Jennifer leaves the premises Delphine goes back to her room and straight to the closet. She stares for a second at a black box lying in the far corner. The second she saw that box a few months ago, she had a heavy feeling in her chest like she was intruding into something very private which prevented her from verifying its contents. Until now. Delphine is sure she needs to see what is inside to have a complete picture of who Elise was as an individual. Without much hesitation she retrieves the box and removes the cover._

_“Fuck!” She exclaims with surprise as her eyes take in the contents “Oh fucking shit.”_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 

“There’s a box in the closet; a black box. Bring it.”

 

Cosima does as she is told. She returns and places the box on the bed and sits on the edge.

 

“Open it” Delphine invites kindly.

 

The brunette’s eyebrows knit together as she lifts the cover. “Wow there are lots of pictures!” She chuckles as she selects some to give them a closer look. “Me in school, me in college… hey these are pics ex-girlfriends have taken. How did you get them?”

 

“Well,” Delphine runs a hand through her hair “those are not mine, those are Elise’s.”

 

“What?! Why?”  Cosima rummages among the pictures and stuff inside the box.

 

“Apparently she and I had lots in common” Delphine shrugs with a sad smile.

 

At that moment Cosima picks up a small notepad. She scans the pages and gasps suddenly “Holly watershed!” There in different handwriting styles is her name surrounded by the cliché hearts and flowers.

 

Delphine puts her hand inside the box and retrieves a flash drive. She stands up and moves to the desk. 

 

Cosima’s eyes spot something else and she grabs it. It’s a collage of printed pictures of herself smiling. She shakes her head with a hand covering her mouth.

 

With laptop in hand, Delphine presses play and a video starts playing.

 

“Shit that’s…” Cosima gapes at the footage “that’s a party at college…”

 

“There are plenty of videos like this on other flash drives” Delphine comments with melancholy “I think she had more than just a crush on you Cosima.”

 

It is then that one specific memory comes to Cosima’s mind, her eyes instantaneously fill with tears “it was her body, the one I held in my arms.” The knowledge stricken her. “It was her, the one I cried for… the one I kissed goodbye. It was Elise” She chokes. “And I didn’t even know she…” Cosima looks down at the pictures “She finally had the opportunity to be in front of me, in person… but she was…” She trails off as deep sobs wreck her.

 

Delphine feels her emotions take over too, aware that now she can share the pain of losing Elise with someone. “I know.” She hugs Cosima again letting her own tears fall too, relieved at having the chance to mourn along with the woman she loves.

 

**…**

 

They don’t know how it happened but they woke up the next morning in each other’s arms.

 

“Oh uhmm” Delphine is the first to react “you OK?” She detaches carefully from the embrace.

 

“Yeah, yeah good” Cosima’s face flushes as she sits up in bed.

 

Delphine bites her lip concealing the smirk that threatens to appear on her face at the knowledge that she can still provoke this reaction from Cosima.

 

“Uh…” Cosima searches among the sheets for her glasses “I think I better…” when she finds them she stands up and moves backwards toward the door.

 

“Sure” Delphine concedes with a neutral stare.

 

“OK. I… I will see you in the cafeteria in an hour” says Cosima as she leaves the bedroom clumsily.

 

When she is gone Delphine laughs delightfully. She then goes to take a shower, wondering how is it that Cosima manages to warm her heart with the simplest things.

 

Cosima for her part can’t help the feelings she was trying to conceal, from reappearing. ‘ _It’s not a good time Cosima; it’s actually the worst possible one you could choose.’ A_ s much as she wants to stop it her heart begins to have hope again. She shakes her head, and goes for a shower; confident that she can get a grip on her emotions once they get back into their routine.

 

**…**

 

During the subsequent week Delphine wasn’t as tense as before. Cosima made an effort to be more supportive and understanding and they were communicating much better.

 

But of course nothing always goes as planned with them.

 

It was just another afternoon at the lab. Cosima and Delphine are immersed in their research when the door suddenly opens. Neither of them bother to turn around to look at the visitor since Marion was the only one with that kind of access to the lab.

 

Delphine waits for the woman to advise her of the information she had received but she never does. Intrigued she looks to the side and finds the tall brunette standing by the open door with a grave expression on her face.

 

At being acknowledged by the person she was seeking Marion starts “would you please come with me? I need to tell you something.”

 

With this request Delphine goes pale. For a brief moment she doesn’t move, she just stares at Marion with dread on her face. One name on her mind: Jennifer.

 

Cosima, who overhears what Marion said looks up and attempts to reach for Delphine, but the blonde steps away from her, lifting a hand to prevent any motion from her part.

 

Delphine nods solemnly, makes a movement of her shoulders trying in vain to gain composure and follows Marion out of the lab.

 

“Shit!” Cosima runs a hand over her face. ‘ _Please don’t let it be what I think it is. I don’t need that right now, not now!’_

 

 

 

 


	13. Ambivalence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cosima asks a very important question. Delphine has had enough.

 

 

Cosima debates for a moment if she should follow them or not, ultimately deciding she wants to know what Marion has to say to Delphine. She intends to go to Marion’s office but she stops before rounding the corner, as she hears voices close by. Cosima can’t make out exactly what is being said but she is sure its Marion that is speaking. She approaches the corner quietly and sneaks a peek trying to avoid being noticed. The first thing Cosima takes in is Delphine’s face. She watches intently how the blonde’s expression changes from one of worry to that of shock.

 

Delphine places both hands on her face and turns her back on Marion.

 

Cosima can see how Delphine begins to lose it.

 

“Where is she?!” Delphine asks suddenly facing Marion again. “Is she still in Europe? Back in the States?” Where the fuck is she?!”

 

“I’m sorry but I’m afraid I can’t give you that information.”

 

“I have to see her, what if she…” Delphine swallows. “I have to go, I have to be there!”

 

Marion sighs “you can’t and you know it.”

 

“You know I can find out where she is, right?” Delphine threatens in an attempt to get the information faster.

 

“I’m aware of that but you are not going to.” Marion steps forward challengingly. “You wouldn’t risk Neolution finding out about your identity; you wouldn’t jeopardize the whole purpose of this mission out of emotional involvement.”

 

Delphine wants to refute this, but instead swallows her words, both hands formed into fists by her sides.

 

“I’ll be sure to keep you updated on a regular basis about her condition.” Marion reaches for her shoulder but Delphine evades her.

 

With a look of contempt for the woman in front of her, she turns and trots away from the facility.  

 

Wasting no time Cosima rushes over to Marion “what happened?”

 

Marion wasn't surprised that Cosima was nearby. Taking into consideration her feelings Marion responds. “Jennifer was injured in combat; her condition is listed as unstable. Delphine didn’t take it too well.”

 

“Crap!” Cosima laments. “Where is she going?”

 

 It is then Marion shows traces of uncertainty “I don’t know.” She pulls out her cellphone and exhales. “I never thought I would have to do this” she mumbles more to herself than to Cosima. She presses one button “Yes, this is Bowles. I want the base on lock down; nobody leaves the premises until further notice.” Marion hesitates for a second before adding “not even Miss Cote.”

 

Cosima gasps with fear staring at the tall brunette.

 

After ending the call Marion comments “I knew how to read Elise; I could predict her answers and reactions to certain situations. I can’t do that with Delphine; she is still adapting to her new life and… that makes her unpredictable.” She finalizes while still preoccupied.

 

That was enough to put Cosima into action “I have to find her” with that she runs in search of Delphine.

**….**

 

 She has been wandering through the base, looking in the places Delphine had previously told her she usually hangs out. Cosima finally finds her in the smaller hangar. She stands quietly observing Delphine from the entrance.

 

Delphine is hitting and kicking a punching bag with such force that it looks like it will disengage from the ceiling at any moment. 

 

The brunette is not used to seeing this side of Delphine. It pains her to witness the once delicate and proper French woman being transformed into this aggressive and distressed soldier. Cosima takes a deep breath and prepares herself for whatever reaction Delphine might display. She slowly walks up to her.

 

With one last kick Delphine stops her attack on the bag, having already taken notice of Cosima’s presence. She places her hands on her hips; her nostrils are flaring and she is breathing faster.

 

“I’ve been looking for you.” Cosima remains at a respectable distance to give Delphine some space.

 

Delphine doesn’t respond.

 

“I… Marion and I were worried about you.” Cosima fiddles nervously with her bangles. “She ordered a lock down of the base, no one can leave.”

 

Delphine turns her head quickly “She what?!”

 

“I don’t know, she says you are unpredictable” Cosima offers with a shrug.

 

“Great” Delphine mutters holding the bridge of her nose.

 

Cosima bites her lip; a question is burning on her mind. She waits a moment and then hesitatingly, she asks softly. “Do you love her?”

 

“What?” Delphine demands a clarification, thinking she heard it wrong.

 

The brunette lifts her head staring directly into Delphine’s eyes “Are you in love with Jennifer?”

 

The question appears to have physically hurt Delphine “Fuck Cosima, of course not!” She shakes her head “what the hell…”

 

“But you do have feelings for her right?” Cosima presses on, her heart wanting to clear away her doubts once and for all.

 

“I…” Delphine's immediate response is to deny the assertion but discovers she can’t. She opens her mouth and wavers until she decides to give the most honest answer “I… I don’t know.” 

 

Though she was expecting that sort of response, Cosima couldn’t help but feel devastated. Her eyes sting, her throat is beginning to close but she doesn’t want to do this in front of Delphine. “OK” Cosima replies as calmly as she can “I-I will see you inside.” She turns to leave.

 

“Cosima, wait!”

 

The sound of her name on the blonde’s lips makes her stop.  Cosima wishes she wasn’t so powerless in Delphine’s presence but here she is unable to move, unable to think; just waiting for her next request.

 

“Please don’t go…” It's not so much a request as it is an earnest plea. 

 

The tone in Delphine’s voice takes Cosima aback. She spins around and what she observes leaves her horrified.

 

“Don’t leave me… please” Delphine is falling onto her knees and breaking down.

 

Without thinking Cosima sprints over to her love’s side on the floor and supports her by leaning into her body before she completely collapses. “It’s OK baby, it’s OK.” She tries to soothe her.

 

“I don’t know who I am anymore. I…I don’t know what to do, what to feel.” Delphine sobs in Cosima’s arms. “Help me please, help me.” She’s inconsolable.

 

Cosima is holding her with as much strength as her body allows, even though her heart was breaking. On one hand, seeing Delphine defeated as she is right now is a vision she wishes she could have been spared. On the other hand, she never imagined she would be consoling the blonde over the possible loss of another woman. She feels hurt, confused and a little bit angry; but she has to put those feelings aside in favor of taking care of Delphine.  Cosima lets the blonde cry for a while to release the tension that she has obviously contained for quite some time. But as soon as she notices the crying has lessened, she carefully gets them off the floor.

 

“Hey, we should go back, you’ll feel better in your own room; I’ll stay with you if you want OK?” Cosima puts Delphine’s arm around her neck and then holds her by the waist as they begin walking.

**…**

 

When they finally made it to Delphine’s room, Cosima took her straight to the bathroom.

 

“You need to take a long hot shower; it’ll relax you I promise” Cosima encourages. But the blonde doesn't move at all. “C’mon Delphine, you have to help me here.” She reaches for Delphine’s shirt, unbuttoning it. She proceeds to remove the garment; then goes for the belt and the pants until Delphine is in her underwear. When Cosima stands up though, this is when she realizes the woman she loves is barely covered. “woah! um” her eyes momentarily take in the blonde’s body and how well built she looks now. Memories of that same body in her arms flowed into her mind bringing back sensations she had long ago buried deep in her sorrows. Cosima is so tempted to reach out and touch the soft skin, but with the little self-control she still possesses she refrains, deciding the escape route is the best choice “so do you think uh…” She takes a few steps and turns the shower on “…that you can take it from here?”

 

Delphine looks down at herself and nods absentmindedly.

 

“OK then…” I’ll be outside if you uh… need anything” after saying that she leaves the bathroom.

 

…

 

Twenty minutes later Cosima was sitting on Delphine’s bed, biting her nails. She had handed the blonde her pajamas and she was expected to be coming out any minute now.  Cosima considers leaving to avoid any awkward situation but she did promise Delphine she would stay and she wants to remain faithful to her word; despite that everything inside of her is telling her this is a bad idea.

 

The door finally opens revealing a tired but more composed Delphine.

 

Cosima stands up “How are you feeling?” her mood switching to a protective one.

 

“Um…better I guess” Delphine replies honestly. She seems to consider something before continuing, “I’m sorry about… I was… I still…”

 

“No, don’t worry about it” Cosima interrupts suddenly “I’m here for you Delphine. I’ll always be here for you.” She finally locks eyes with the blonde.

 

This causes the blonde to smile softly “thank you” She holds Cosima’s gaze intently.

 

Cosima’s lips tremble; her mind can’t come up with anything else to say.

 

They both stare at each other in silence.

 

 In an impulsive move Delphine rushes toward Cosima embracing her and capturing her mouth in a rough kiss.

 

An involuntary moan escapes Cosima’s lips at the unexpected intrusion. She doesn’t have time to think about what’s going on when Delphine pushes her backwards and her back hits the desk. Cosima‘s body shudders as cold hands roam over her body. Her mind is beginning to cloud at the ministration, she’s enjoying it too much; it’s a dream come true.

 

Delphine is devouring her mouth, feeling her up forcefully, pressing more and more against her body in an almost animalistic way. All of a sudden something pops into Cosima’s subconscious.

_'This is not Delphine, she’s not like this; this is wrong.  She’s not being herself, this is not her.'_

 

Even though Delphine has acquired a new identity with obvious radical changes inside and out, deep within Cosima she felt this is not how Delphine would let their first physical encounter, after so long, happen. She’s about to push Delphine off her body when Delphine detaches herself first.

 

“Oh my God” Delphine who is two steps away already, stares at Cosima in shock. She runs a hand across her mouth like she just now realized what she has done. “I’m so sorry Cosima I don’t know what I was thinking I…” her face flushed bright red with shame.

 

Cosima opens her mouth several times but nothing comes out. She doesn’t mean to be rude or falter on her previous promise to stand by the blonde, but even a blind person could see that they would be better off alone at this moment. So giving a quick glance at an embarrassed Delphine, Cosima steps out of the room.

 

Once outside she lets a gush of air escape her lungs, as reality hit hard. “ _Shit that was… this is fucked up, so fucked up.”_ Thinking that their chances are little by little blowing up, she walks back to her room feeling conflicted, confused and absolutely aroused. 

 

…

 

The loud knocking on the door is what brought Cosima back to consciousness but what really woke her up is the familiar voice calling her name persistently. She stands abruptly and opens the door.

 

“Cosima!” Delphine lets out, looking at her anxiously.

 

“What’s going on?!” The brunette senses that what Delphine wants to say has nothing to do with what happened with them earlier.

 

“It’s Sarah she…” Delphine pauses “She and Helena left.”

 

“What!”

 

“We… we’re not sure, they kinda escaped the soldiers vigilance and uh…just come with me.” Delphine grabs Cosima by the hand and leads her to Marion’s office.

 

…

 

“… yes call me as soon as you have news, I’ll do the same.” Marion hangs up with a big exasperated sigh. Upon noticing Cosima’s presence she shakes her head with a disproving look. “That was Siobhan. Apparently Sarah received a message from Rachel telling her she has something for her, and you know what she did?” Marion clenches her teeth “She went, taking Helena along with her!”

 

“Holly watershed!” Cosima covers her mouth.

 

“Fuck” Delphine mutters with eyes closed.

 

“Your sister is reckless, she has no idea how much she is risking by going there, and with Helena nonetheless! The two golden girls delivered on a silver platter to Neolution!” Marion exclaims as she begins to lose her cool. “It could be a trap, she could be walking into a death sentence or worse she could be walking into a lab cage” she scoffs. “Now I have to deploy half of our reserves to go and save their asses. And pray to God or destiny that we can find them before something else happens.” She addresses Delphine “you know what to do.”

 

Delphine nods as Marion storms out of her office. She then faces Cosima “I gotta…”

 

But Cosima is too worried to pay attention to her “this is bad really bad.” She paces the office floor. “Siobhan must be worried sick. And Felix and Alison! I have to go back; I have to be there for them!” Cosima finally turns toward Delphine with an expectant and apologetic expression.

 

“Yeah of course I understand. I’ll get everything ready.” Delphine is about to go when Cosima calls her attention.

 

“Hey.”

 

The blonde stops and stares at her.

 

“We are going to talk… when I come back, right?” Cosima’s body leans to the side uncertainly.

 

Delphine gulps; a million things running through her mind. Either way she concedes “Yes we are. We must.”

 

Cosima holds the intense gaze for a moment to make sure Delphine meant it. When she is satisfied, she continues “OK then. I’m going to pack, let me know when everything is set.” She leaves the room immediately after.

 

Watching her go, Delphine considers if she will be ready to face the consequences of her actions and if she will have her feelings sorted out by the time Cosima comes back. She also hoped Jennifer was fine so she could be calmer and think things out more clearly. Nobody really warned her about how complicated and tiring it was being involved with women. With a small shake of her head Delphine prepares herself to deal with the task at hand: bringing the twin sisters back alive.

 

 


	14. Au revoir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of Neolution. Sarah has a question. Cosima makes a decision. Delphine and Jennifer talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are nearing the end! (want to ask something? rant? reach me at moreorlez.tumblr)

 

 

The week that passed was the most eventful week in the history of all of their lives.

 

It turns out it was a trap; but not exactly the one everybody was expecting.

 

XXXXXXXXX

_“Sarah Manning, my first big success, we meet again!” Susan Duncan smirks cynically as the young brunette is being dragged to the middle of the room by two guards. “It seems like yesterday I had you and your sister in my arms and look at you now, a big rebel who got away from me once; but I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again.”_

_At that very moment the door opens revealing a much recuperated Rachel._

_“I see you came after all.” She supports herself by walking with a cane. “I told you she would come.” She gazes at her mother briefly before directing her attention back to her clone “you just couldn’t help being the hero as usual.” Rachel glares at the men who quickly retreat and stand by the door. “Oh Sarah, Sarah” she walks around the handcuffed brunette slowly “poor brave and courageous Sarah, I assure you we will take good care of you.” Rachel slides a hand around the other girl’s body and finally grabs her by the neck “come closer I want to tell you exactly what I’m going to do to you.”_

_Mrs. Duncan is pleased with the interaction and moves near a large screen, leaving her daughter to take care of their prisoner._

_Rachel watches as her mother steps away, then she pulls the brunette down close to her face whispering “Second floor, third door left” having said that she pushes her to the floor. “Get her ready for the procedure” Rachel commands._

_The two guards lift the girl from the floor and take her out of the room. They walked past two hallways never noticing how she’s inserting a piece of wire, that Rachel handed her discretely, into the handcuff keyhole. Before they even have a chance to react, one of them is shoved against the wall while the other receives a punch to the face._

_…_

_Three gun shots echo throughout the facility, alerting Mrs. Duncan and Rachel. At the same instant the security alarm for the building is set off._

_“What is going…” Susan turns to the security monitor “but…”_

_Soldiers enter the building from all directions._

_“How did they get in here?!” Susan exclaims._

_“They must have followed her” Rachel offers trying to look as surprised as her mother._

_“I thought you would take care of that! You were supposed to be careful!” The woman grits her teeth. “Ugh, we have to go now.” She grabs Rachel by the arm and demands she walks faster._

_…_

_‘Third door left, third door left’ the girl repeats over and over in her head until she reaches her destination. With one swift kick, the door falls to the ground in a loud thud._

_A small head peeks out from under a desk; calling out as soon as she takes in the person before her “you’re here!”_

_“Come here little seestra.” Helena opens her arms with a huge smile on her face, happy to finally meet her youngest sister._

_Charlotte jumps into her arms readily and holds tightly onto her body. “I knew you would come for me Helena.”_

_Helena caresses her hair softly “of course I came. We make a family” she kisses Charlotte on the head before speaking suddenly intrigued “seestra said you had bad leg.”_

_“Yes, but Mrs. Duncan cured me” Charlotte says nuzzling her face into Helena’s neck._

_“OK” Helena replies getting back to what she came for “Now don’t let go, we have to run fast.”_

_…_

_Mrs. Duncan with Rachel in tow opens a door to a room that leads to a secret passage, but as soon as they enter the older woman notices to her surprise, someone is already there._

_“Leaving so soon? The party just started.” Sarah stands to one side holding a gun that is pointed directly at Mrs. Duncan._

_“How did you know…?” Susan's eyes open wide as realization hits her “you…” she turns in time to see Rachel standing beside Sarah. “You betrayed me!” her voice is laced with fury._

_The woman launches straight at Sarah who pulls the trigger._

_The bullet strikes Mrs. Duncan in the chest forcing her back a step. But she never falls to the ground, never bleeds._

_“What the…”_

_Sarah and Rachel are astonished._

_“You are not the only one with enhancements my dear” Susan comments staring at Rachel. Then taking advantage of the girls’ state of shock, she moves forward again, this time hitting Sarah in the face, knocking her out._

_Rachel gasps still unable to move._

_The older woman picks up the gun from the floor and aims it at her daughter. “How could you do this to me? To your own mother!”_

_“You were my mother!” Rachel snaps. “But I saw the change when it happened and I still see it now, you’re just like Aldus. To you I’m an experiment, something you can test your theories on.” She looks down at Sarah “but to her… I’m her sister; her spoiled evil sister and nothing more.”_

_Her words make Mrs. Duncan go blind with rage “then die with your sister.”_

_She was so focused on Rachel that she failed to see Sarah sprint toward her in an attempt to divert the direction of the shot. Both wrestle to gain control of the weapon._

_Suddenly a shot is heard._

_To Rachel’s horror, Sarah is the one who fell down and is bleeding. That image makes her pent-up anger explode “what did you do!” She holds the cane tightly in her hand until her fingers go white and without even thinking she shoves the object into her mother’s face._

_The woman almost falls but supports herself by leaning on a wall. She lets go of the gun. When she regains her bearings Rachel is standing in front of her._

_“I’m sorry… mother.” With tears in her eyes Rachel shoots directly into Susan’s head killing her instantly. She then drops down next to Sarah crying “don’t you dare die after all I’ve done for you bitch.”_

_“In your dreams pro clone” Sarah manages weakly._

_Rachel chuckles placing a hand on Sarah’s wound._

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 “… The last thing I remember is Ferdinand calling for Rachel. He looked like bloody Joxer! It was almost romantic I swear!” Sarah explains as she lies in bed after being taken care of.

 

Cosima , who is sitting next to the bed, laughs out loud imagining the scene “oh well” she takes her sister’s hand, “you gave us quite the scare there huh?”

 

“Right…” Sarah attempts not to seem guilty “but it was just the shoulder yeah?”

 

Her sister shakes her head with a half-smile.

 

 Sarah notices that Cosima’s gloomy mood is not only related to her condition. She is determined to find out what else is bothering her.

 

“So…” Sarah starts playing with their joined hands “you OK?”

 

“Yeah I’m fine.” Comes the unconvincing response. At the ‘bullshit’ look Sarah sends her way Cosima relents “it’s just… some things I have to sort out, that’s all.”

 

“Is it blondie related by any chance?”

 

Cosima just shrugs.

 

“C’mon spill” Sarah encourages her nicely.

 

Tired of fighting it and also needing to tell someone how she’s feeling, Cosima replies “well, there is something going on there but… she’s got a girlfriend or a fuck buddy or whatever” she can’t help the bitterness in her voice.

 

 “Oh!”

 

“And to make things worse the girlfriend was injured in combat and Elise is really worried about her and ugh I really don’t know what to do about it.”

 

 “Shite.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

During the moment of silence that followed, Sarah traced Cosima’s tattoo with a finger, considering her next words very carefully. “Cos?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“That girl, Elise…” Sarah swallows “she’s Delphine right?”

 

If she’s surprised by the question, Cosima doesn’t show it. She just lets out a big exhale but doesn’t respond.

 

Sarah gets anxious “hey, just tell me the truth.”

 

Cosima looks down at the bedspread while her mind evokes all of the things that transpired at the base with Delphine. The first meeting, the conversations, the looks, Jennifer, the break down, the incident… and also everything they still need to clarify. But what really stands out though is how different she found Delphine to be. It was like she was actually someone else, some stranger whom she shares memories with; but who she is willing to get to know again. Having taken everything into consideration, and her mind made up, Cosima states “No” She locks eyes with her sister “that soldier who I’ve been spending time with these past months is not Delphine. She’s definitely not Delphine” her voice is full of conviction.

 

Cosima may not have been surprised when Sarah asked the question but she definitely is now watching Sarah’s reaction.

 

The other brunette seems like she was slapped in the face; her lips begin to tremble. She turns her face away to try to hide her tears.

 

It is then that Cosima understands that Sarah wasn’t asking out of curiosity or in need to discover lies, but because she really wanted Delphine to be alive. She felt really bad having to do this to her sister but Delphine was clear, nobody could know about her real identity, not even her sisters. So instead she holds Sarah’s hand soothingly to let her know she’s not alone in her pain.

 

“Do you really like her? Elise?” Sarah asks after a while desperate to change the strained atmosphere.

 

“Yeah, uhm…” Cosima tries to explain in the most honest way possible “she’s the closest I’ll ever get to the original right?” She shrugs. “Besides she has a killer body” she comments with a smile to lighten the mood.

 

Sarah laughs rolling her eyes. Soon she turns serious “You know? You’ve started being yourself again since you met Elise.”

 

Cosima listens intently considering her sister’s words.

 

“At first I thought it was because she…” Sarah shakes her head and continues “but whatever reasons you have, just go for it, there’s nothing wrong with that yeah? If she makes you happy then it’s good.”

 

“I don’t know Sarah, right now is…”

 

“Rubbish! Don’t let a twat get in the middle of you and tough blondie. If things are complicated right now, well then just be there; mark your territory or some shite like that! Get to know her, let her get to know you and go from there.”

 

“You make it sound so easy” Cosima is doubtful.

 

“Because it is!” Sarah huffs.

 

“But you…”

 

“I’m fine! But I’m gonna be even better knowing that you are fighting for what you want. Marion is still here, you can tell her to take you with her. Seriously Cos go!”

 

“OK, OK fine you are right I should… and maybe” Cosima stops because she realizes she is rambling. With her mind made up she lets out a “thank you” and leans in to hug Sarah.

 

 “Yeah, yeah” Sarah reciprocates avoiding getting too emotional “Now go and get your girl already!”

 

…

 

Cosima enters the room where Siobhan and Marion are having tea. Close by them on the floor is Helena playing with her baby, Kira and Charlotte.

 

“Uh sorry to interrupt” She directs her attention to Marion “but I was wondering if I could go back with you to the base? You know to work on finishing the cure and stuff” Cosima waves her hands nervously.

 

Marion is taken aback by the request “oh um… sure no problem with me but uh I think you should talk to Elise first.” She takes out her cellphone and hands it to her. “Press number one.”

 

“OK thanks” Cosima grabs the phone and walks away in search of a more private area. When she reaches her destination she immediately makes the call.

 

“Yes Marion?” Delphine answers in her usual professional tone.

 

“Oh hi, it’s me.”

 

“Co-Cosima!”  Delphine stammers as she was not expecting the clone to be the one on the other end of the line.

 

“Yeah listen” Cosima paces back and forth. “Everything seems to be under control around here now, so I was thinking that I’m ready to come back to the base.”

 

“Uh um…”

 

Cosima senses the hesitation from Delphine but she still waits for the blonde to speak.

 

“I-I’m not at the base… at the moment.”

 

“What? Where are you then?”

 

Delphine doesn’t respond.

 

It didn’t take long for Cosima to get it “Ah! ... You’re with Jennifer.”

 

“Yes uh…” Delphine is getting nervous and begins to speak faster “well, with Neolution's main heads already down, Marion thought the rest of the members would be worried about escaping rather than looking for us, so she allowed me to pay Jennifer a visit to um- verify her state… and all.”

 

“Oh that’s- that’s fine, I understand.” Cosima clears her throat “How-how is she?”  She rubs her neck with her free hand.

 

“She’s been improving slowly. She just regained consciousness yesterday but the doctors are optimistic.” Delphine cringes wondering why she’s saying all this to Cosima.

 

“Wow, that’s good news” Cosima tries to sound concerned. She holds the phone to her forehead controlling her sudden anger and worry. She’s tempted to tell Delphine to call her back when she’s done playing nurse with Jennifer but Sarah’s words keep resonating inside of her head.

 

“… _If things are complicated right now well then just be there.”_

 

 “So,” Cosima states a few seconds later “I’m returning to the base anyways to work on the cure and the other stuff. You just take your time, no worries.”

 

“Wh- seriously?” Delphine is surprised and skeptical.

 

“Yeah I mean you’re coming back at some point right?” The question comes off with a hint of concern.

 

“Of course!” Delphine hurries to clarify “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

_“Or as soon as you want”_ Cosima thinks rolling her eyes but replying “OK then it’s settled, see you soon bye.” She hangs up before she says something inappropriate.

 

Delphine remains standing with the phone in her hand, confused.  She turns her head to gaze at Jennifer who is sleeping due to the medication she was given.  “What am I gonna do with you?” Delphine whispers willing herself to come up with a solution to her emotional predicament … and soon.

 

…

 

Cosima was immersed in the work when Delphine arrived four days later. She didn’t over think it or make any preparations; Cosima was determined to just let it be and let nature take its course. She found that approach was really good for her sanity and her mood, so she kept working and waited for the blonde in complete serenity.

 

“Good morning” Delphine approaches tentatively as she enters the lab.

 

“Oh hey!” Cosima takes her eyes away from the microscope to greet the blonde “Welcome back!” She throws her usual cheeky grin before turning her attention back to the instrument.

 

To say Delphine wasn’t expecting a nice welcome back from Cosima would be an understatement. She stops walking and continues to stare at the brunette.

 

“And how’s Jennifer doing?” Cosima asks not taking her eyes away from the sample.

 

“Uh she-she’s better” Delphine replies astonished.

 

“Good, good” Cosima nods into the microscope. When she notices Delphine is not moving she says, “I know you must be tired and like stressed out and shit but this cure is not gonna confirm itself, I need your brain here.  C’mon!”

 

That makes Delphine react “right yeah, of course!” She starts checking data still bewildered.

 

….

 

To Delphine’s surprise, the rest of the week was the same; they worked in a peaceful atmosphere and Cosima was being Cosima. For a minute there she thought maybe the brunette was being extra nice or trying too hard but she then realized it was Cosima’s attempt to be normal, being them and nothing else. That was what encouraged Delphine to put her feelings into words while they were at dinner together one day.

 

“Cosima?”

 

“yup?”

 

“I want to be with you.”

 

Cosima looks up from her meal, leaving her fork on the table and focusing her attention solely on the blonde.

 

Delphine takes a deep breath and continues. “I may be confused about certain things, I mean I’m a human being with emotions and flaws and needs; and I’ve been through hell and back with the knowledge that like you, I had a clone, and with this transformation it sometimes makes me lose my mind.” She shakes her head at the thought of everything that had overwhelmed her “but if there’s only one thing I’m sure about, it is that I want to be with you, I want you. Even if it is through another person's life or afterlife for that matter it’s you, it’s always you. I’m sorry things are difficult at the moment but this goes beyond our reach for now.” Delphine takes Cosima’s hand, “I need you to understand there is nothing more I want than to be able to start again with you, where we left off, but many things have changed; you and I have changed. Also we have to take into consideration my new identity and how we are gonna manage it, I mean there’s a lot we have to discuss” she sighs tightening her grip “and unfortunately I feel this is not the right time, at least not yet.” Delphine grimaces bracing for the impact that is Cosima’s wrath.

 

“I know.”

 

For the umpteenth time this week Delphine is stricken yet again by Cosima’s response. “You know?” That’s the only thing she can come up with.

 

“Yeah, I mean I understand it’s not the right time; everything is in a mess now so… and I also understand there are many obstacles that we have to overcome.” Cosima pauses “I’m sorry for wanting to rush you - us. It’s just that I was kinda desperate, I thought you were going to leave or something and I didn’t want to risk that happening; I’m really sorry.”

 

Delphine wants to say she has nothing to be sorry for, but Cosima keeps talking.

 

“I’ve been thinking a lot these past days and I realized we never really did the whole ‘normal relationship’ thing you know? We never really dated or had the ‘get to know each other’ dance and stuff.  I mean you already knew me but…” Cosima waves her free hand “everything happened so fast and it was so messy that we never really had the chance to create a solid loving structure for ourselves.”

 

“You’re right; you’re so right” Delphine marvels. It really never occurred to her that it was exactly what was missing in their plans for a future together; a structure.

 

“So…” Cosima toys with Delphine’s fingers “what do you say if this time we start from scratch? We can hangout, talk, be cool; take it slow you know? And see where it takes us?” She throws an eager glance in the blonde’s direction.

 

That makes Delphine smile with genuine hope after so long, “yeah sounds amazing.”

 

They remain holding hands for a little while before continuing with their day.

 

…

 

“We already have seventy percent of the list terminated. If we are lucky the troops will find another twenty percent” Marion informs.

 

“The remaining ten percent is what we have to keep track of and prevent them from joining up again to bring Neolution back.” Delphine counterparts.

 

“Precisely! As for Rachel, Ferdinand took her to a secure location but he already knows we are keeping an eye on them. It’s Rachel after all; we can never be sure.”

 

Delphine nods but then suddenly asks “and where is Charlotte?”

 

Marion beams with pride at the mention of her daughter. “She’s with Shay. She wanted to be here with me at the meeting but I convinced her to take a break from all of her hard work. It took me a while to convince her; sometimes I forget she’s a LEDA girl.” 

 

Both Marion and Delphine laugh at the clones racy attitude and innate stubbornness.

 

“And how are things with Cosima?” Marion asks a few minutes later.

 

“They're very good actually. We are making great progress with the cure and we’re communicating really well, better than at other times.”

 

“I’m glad to hear that.” Marion stands up and smiles at Delphine as she takes a hold of her shoulder. “Just a few more details we need to discuss and you will be free to start your new life with Cosima.”

 

“I’m looking forward to that.”

 

…

**Two months later**

 

Delphine steals a few side glances at Cosima who was too preoccupied in her task to notice she was being observed. She still can’t quite believe how understanding and mature Cosima has been these past months. They’ve been talking openly about many subjects and trying to be as honest as possible about their feelings. Even when Delphine felt conflicted and went to Cosima for reassurance, she was always there with the right words that helped to keep her grounded. Cosima never made a fuss over her visits to Jennifer, which was remarkable. It felt really good, a nice change with a promising future and she liked it.

 

“Hey, check this out!” Cosima calls out with excitement.

 

“OK.” Delphine examines the project Cosima was working on.  An ample smile makes its appearance across her features as she looks up at Cosima.

 

“And?” Cosima inquires with a grin of her own.

 

“And… we’re done!” Delphine confirms happily.

 

“Yes!” Cosima throws both arms up in the air “we did it!”

 

“We did it.”

 

 Like it was something they always do, they wrapped their arms around each other in a tight hug. At first it is tender; a way to congratulate themselves for their amazing scientific discovery. But soon it becomes a display of affection that brings back memories and familiarity they’ve been lacking. Cosima and Delphine are comforted by the warmth and smell of each other. When they part they do it slowly without disconnecting the contact completely. Their eyes meet in an intense gaze full of love.

 

Delphine senses it, the urgency to connect her lips to Cosima’s and give into her emotions, but she knows if she does it now, there’s no turning back. First there is something else she needs to do. So with a lot of effort she pulls away. She utters softly as to not to startle the brunette “You know, there’s gonna be a final meeting with the leaders of all confederate bases next week. I was thinking since we are finished here, you could go and spend some time with your sisters and as soon as I’m done I’ll join you in Toronto.” 

 

“Oh” Cosima attempts to break the spell from the embrace before replying “sounds fine, I really need to see those nuts” she chuckles nervously. “And… is Jennifer attending this meeting?” Cosima couldn’t help asking. 

 

Keeping the line of honesty open Delphine responds “yes, she has confirmed her arrival.” She glances toward Cosima as she adds “actually I really think I should talk to her; to give closure to whatever we had; I mean it is the right thing to do before you and I consider becoming a couple.”

 

Cosima’s mind runs a mile a minute with unpleasant images “yeah obvs, it makes sense” she tries to ignore that nagging feeling and keeps a positive attitude.

 

“Hey” Delphine grabs her hand “we are going to be fine, OK?”

 

“OK.”

 

At that moment both believe it.

 

….

 

During the meeting, Delphine was distracted; the whole time rehearsing in her mind what she wanted to say to Jennifer. She didn’t want to come off rude or insensitive towards the other woman. She was very aware it could be the last time she would see the brunette and found that thought a bit sad so she didn’t want to end it on a bad note. They could be civilized and mature about it; there was no need to worry.

 

When the meeting finished, Delphine leaned over to help Jennifer with her crutches but the woman stops her.

 

“Don’t go all pity on me Cote; I’m quite capable of doing this on my own” Jennifer says half-jokingly. “See? Piece of cake!” she says once she succeeded at standing up by herself.

 

They quietly go to Delphine’s office.

 

Delphine was sure they would have the privacy that she was seeking there. Once inside she attempted again to help Jennifer but her glare was enough to make her desist and sit down at her desk.

 

Jennifer sits opposite Delphine.

 

“So this is about you and your girlfriend?” Jennifer breaks the awkward silence “cause you don’t have to say anything you know. I already had that conversation with her and everything was pretty clear.” 

 

Delphine could tell she was annoyed. “Um… she’s not my girlfriend yet. We’re taking it slow.” She provides unnecessarily.

 

Jennifer’s brows lift at the news “oh!” she tries to mask her surprise. “I didn’t take you for the sappy one Elise” Jennifer mocks.

 

Delphine shrugs blushing in the process.

 

Seeing the shy reaction Jennifer presses on “Let me guess, you’re also quitting the army to pursue a normal life with her?”

 

At this Delphine squirms in her seat, unable to meet the brunette’s gaze.

 

“Oh wow!” Jennifer exclaims “you’re really head over heels with this girl huh?

 

There’s no need for Delphine to say anything, she knows Jennifer is hurting. It is not her fault and she knows it, but that doesn’t stop her from feeling guilty. “Jennifer” she begins by getting the girl’s attention “I really wanted to give this situation a proper closure, to end it on good terms with you? I don’t know what it was that we had, but I need you to know it meant something to me. I care about you, a lot.”

 

 Jennifer's mood becomes serious again. She remains quiet for a few seconds before she continues. “When the bomb exploded and I fell to the ground several feet away, two things came to my mind: my eighth birthday, that’s when my dad gave me my first military gear.” She smiles at the memory “my whole family was there, it was perfect.” She sighs then staring into Delphine eyes “the other one was your face… at the exact moment you came that first time we slept together after your accident” she holds her gaze lost in her reveries “I don’t know what it was about that day but there was something so raw in you, like you lost yourself in me and… for a moment I felt you were mine.” Jennifer then attempts to stand up.

 

Delphine rounds the desk in a rush to help Jennifer. She places both her hands on the brunette’s hips.

 

The movement is so sudden that Jennifer almost loses her balance; she gets needed support by grabbing onto Delphine’s shoulders to steady herself.

 

They are face to face now, able to feel the breath of the other.

 

Jennifer studies Delphine’s face, her features and her expression until she ventures “Can I ask you something?”

 

Too engrossed in the moment, Delphine manages to only nod.

 

“If Cosima wasn't in the picture, would you consider being with me as my girlfriend? For real?”

 

 That is a question Delphine doesn’t have to think or analyze much, she just answers with the truth “yes” her voice is soft but clear “I would.”

 

Jennifer’s features light up with a grin that reaches her eyes. Her vision focuses on the blonde’s lips now “let me have you one last time Elise” the request lingers with intent.

 

Delphine gaps gulping “I… I can’t, I…”

 

“You just told me you’re not with her yet, so you wouldn’t be cheating on her if that’s what you’re concerned about.” She wraps her arms around Delphine’s neck. “I want to end this with a boom, better than the one in the explosion; lets leave good memories here on your desk and on your bed before you start your new life as a civilian.”

 

“Jennifer we shouldn’t.” Delphine bites her lip while staring at the lips of the brunette. The offer is so tempting and her denial doesn’t sound convincing at all and Jennifer knows it.

 

“I really need you now” Jennifer runs a hand along Delphine’s side in a teasing manner.

 

Truth be told, Delphine wants this, wants to indulge in this one last opportunity she has to taste the body that kept her satisfied and company for many months; even if her mind is telling her it is a bad idea, that it will complicate things with Cosima now that they were getting along so well. But she’s running out of excuses. “But your leg…”

 

“It’s just a leg baby; I can assure you the rest of my body works just fine.”

 

At this point Delphine is barely keeping it together, her mind clouding with desire “please…” she utters pathetically.

 

“C’mon” Jennifer, already knowing she has won, whispers in her ear “I know you want to.”

 

The familiar phrase doesn’t escape Delphine and that’s all the encouragement she needed. She grabs Jennifer by the ass and lifts her onto the desk.

 

With a grunt Jennifer pulls at Delphine’s body positioning her between her legs “fuck me!” That’s the last thing she says before her mouth is devoured in a hungry kiss.

 

 Delphine allows her passion to take control over the situation. She will deal with the consequences later. For now she only cares about the woman in front of her, who from the very moment she met, couldn’t deny her body to.

 

 

 

 


	15. Revamp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shay's resolution. Cosima and Delphine FINALLY talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the final one, you don't want to miss it!!

 

 

 

Shay finishes packing the last of her personal belongings into a duffel bag. She looks around one last time at the room that served as her home for the past several months. She would consider this all a bad dream that is finally coming to an end, if it wasn’t for the guilt inside of her and the hole in her soul. Nothing will erase the things she did, nobody will take Cosima's place in her heart; all of her being will be possessed by remorse forever.  

 

The knock on the door serves as a welcomed distraction and she hurries to answer it. It doesn’t matter how much time passes or the fact that she knows who the person is; Shay is always going to be a little jumpy whenever she sees that face. Yet again another reminder that will be engraved in her mind forever.

 

“Your transportation is ready Miss Davydov” The tall blonde informs her.

 

“Uh, it’s just Shay” She smiles lightly.

 

“OK” Delphine nods “shall we?”

 

“Yeah let’s go” Shay grabs her bag and follows Delphine through the hallway that leads to the exit of the building.

 

As they walk, Delphine makes some small talk, “Marion mentioned you will be visiting your father?”

 

“Yeah, I want to see my old man; check on his health and all before my trip to India. After that I will rejoin the military, but this time as a massage therapist. There are loads of soldiers in need of relief from minor injuries or simply require relaxation from stress or tension you know. I think I could be of some help there and I would feel like I’m doing something good.”

 

“But you did plenty of good for the mission already Shay.”

 

“Well…” Shay sighs “it doesn’t feel that way to me.”

 

Delphine can tell the girl is consumed with guilt and tries to dissuade her. “I know things happened that can’t ever be changed, they were done for a purpose and we achieved that purpose; that was our mission, and the rest is totally out of our hands. The only thing we can do is move forward and create a new future for ourselves; like me, I already requested to be discharged so I can start my new life with…” She stops before the name can escape her lips.

 

Shay comes to a halt and takes in the expression on Delphine’s face. Then it hits her “Cosima? You’re with Cosima?”

 

“Um we kinda uh…” Delphine waves her hands trying to explain “I’m aware of the nature of the relationship you two had but…”

 

“No, no it’s fine you don’t have to say anything. We never really were a couple.” Shay chuckles shaking her head. “I sort of imagined already something like this happening. It’s good really, I’m happy for her.” Even as she tries to hide it, the disappointment is evident.

 

Delphine composes herself before continuing, “Shay, you deserve to be happy too; but you’re not gonna do it by hiding behind the Army. I’m sure you could make a great life for yourself away from this world of lies and conspiracies. You could start over again, in a place where you socialize and meet new people that have nothing to do with the mission. In time you could open your own practice as a massage therapist and meet that special person you want in your life; everybody deserves a second chance.”

 

“No, not me” Shay states stubbornly “I killed the love of Cosima’s life! Yes she has you now, but that doesn’t change the fact that I killed Delphine and …” her voice breaks “no matter how much of a cunt she was, I took her life and I can’t forgive myself for that, and I’m sure Cosima can’t either.” She swallows with trembling lips. “But most importantly I can’t forgive myself for the pain I caused… the love of my life.” Shay finally admits with tears that she couldn’t stop.

 

Delphine lowered her head at the admission, while thinking about her next words, “I can assure you, she would have forgiven you” she searches Shay’s eyes. “If she had survived, she would have forgiven you. She knew what she was doing and for whom and I bet she wouldn't have any regrets.” She ends with conviction, having spoken not only for herself but also for Elise.

 

“Yeah” Shay wipes the tears away with her hand “but Delphine is not here to confirm that is she?” Shay carries on to the exit.

 

Delphine opens her mouth, closes it and follows the other girl.

 

The jeep was already at the entrance, waiting to transport Shay to her destination.

 

Both women briefly pause at the door where Shay, after some thought, speaks.

 

“Look Elise I know what you’re doing and thank you but I made up my mind, this is what I deserve after all I’ve done. I can only hope Cosima will find happiness by your side; you seem like a nice girl just…” Shay closes her eyes as a memory crosses her mind. She swallows, opens her eyes again and lets out “be good to her.”

 

Delphine remembers with melancholy saying those same words under similar circumstances. She offers a slight smile of reassurance “I will.”

 

When Shay is about to get into the vehicle, Delphine calls her name, the short blonde turns to face her.

 

“I know it is not gonna be much consolation for you, but there are a couple of items for you in the vehicle. They will give you some explanation about certain events. After that I hope you make the best decision for you and your future. Good luck Miss Davydov.”

 

Puzzled and intrigued Shay manages to reply “thank you.” She climbs into the vehicle and spots a small wooden chest on the seat beside her. She opens it up to verify its contents: an envelope and a small box. Shay is curious and quickly grabs for what is inside the smaller box.

 

With a move of her hand, Delphine orders the driver to proceed.

 

“Oh my God!” Shay gasps covering her mouth with one hand while staring at the object in her other hand.

 

It is a razor blade pendant with the words ‘Forgive’ engraved on each side in Russian and French.

 

Shay whips her head back in time to watch Delphine standing at attention and saluting her before going inside the facility. She places the pendant on the car seat and focuses her attention on the envelope that reveals a letter in familiar hand writing. She briefly hesitates before she starts reading.

 

**XXXXXXXXX**

 

**Days earlier**

 

Delphine watches as Cosima packs her stuff for her departure the next day to her sisters. She has something on her mind and decides she better approach the topic now.

 

“Cosima, before you go, I think you should talk to Shay.”

 

Cosima halts, holding tightly onto one of her shirts with anger and something else boiling up inside of her “I’m not doing that.”

 

“Look, I understand it's hard for you, but you have to do this for yourself, you really have to clear the air between the two of you and move past it.”

 

“I don’t wanna talk about this alright? Just let it go” Cosima replies annoyed as she resumes with her packing.

 

“No, neither of us will let it go; this is not good for you Cosima, you have to get it out of your system and…”

 

“ENOUGH!” Cosima yells, startling Delphine. She closes her eyes and grabs her head with both hands. “I can’t Delphine, I can’t do it.”

 

The blonde attempts to get closer but Cosima stops her with a hand held up high.

 

“Don’t you get it? I can’t stand seeing her face; the only thing that comes into my mind is the image of her shooting you! Killing you! Then I feel bad because I’m relieved that it was Elise and not you. I shouldn’t feel this way! Elise was a person, a person who loved me and died for me but I… all I can think of is you.” Cosima shakes her head. “Also every time I remember Shay's face I…” she chokes back a sob “I recall the fact that I almost killed her.”

 

At this Delphine walks towards her not caring if Cosima wants her there or not. Fortunately, Cosima doesn’t protest and allows herself to be held.

 

At the sensation of Delphine's warm body against hers, Cosima relents and cries, “I almost did the same thing I hate her for, I almost became a murderer!” She holds onto Delphine “I don’t wanna see her and have to live it all over again in my mind, please don’t make me do it, I can’t do it please.”

 

“OK, OK you don’t have to, don’t worry.” Delphine kisses Cosima’s forehead “we will figure something out, we will find another way.”

 

**XXXXXXX**

 

_Shay: at this point I’m sure you already know about Delphine. I want you to know that even though she is alive, that doesn’t change in any way what you did. Sure, now I understand the reasons and the why, but there’s something about that image that I can’t get out of my mind, it’s too much pain to bear. I also want you to understand that I’m not justifying what I almost did to you; I was blinded by rage and sorrow and that is something I will have to live with in my own conscious forever. I wish we could discuss this in person but I find it impossible to do so at the moment; there are many things we need to process and forgive each other for. But I want to promise you, that we will have this conversation and see each other someday when this pain subsides. Believe me I expect that day to come so I can see you again with no hatred or remorse in my soul. Now don’t go and make rash decisions, don’t let the pain and rage guide you like it did to me more than once. Be yourself but most importantly fight for a good life and pursue happiness, we all deserve it, don’t you ever forget that. Good luck with everything. Until we meet again. Cosima._

 

Shay cries silently holding the letter tightly to her chest. She feels like a tight knot in her chest has loosened its grip. Cosima is right, she thinks, what’s done is done and she will have to live with the consequences. But the idea of Cosima actually staying with the love of her life, the mere thought of Cosima being happy is enough for her. So with the bit of optimism she thought she lost for good, Shay places the letter back into the wooden chest and grabs the pendant, giving it a look “fucking cunt,” she murmurs to herself with a chuckle and proceeds to put the pendant around her neck. Smiling sincerely for the first time in months and with a glint of hope in her eyes; Shay starts reconsidering plans for her future.

 

…

 

Delphine arrived in Toronto in the evening. She is tired and a little stressed out, still with her mind on the base. One of the soldiers hands her the keys to the car that was waiting for her. She says her good byes and they wish her good luck.

 

The drive to her residence went smoothly and Delphine was thankful because she didn't exactly feel like putting up with the traffic. She makes a quick pit stop at the store. That’s when she decides to call Cosima to let her know she’s in town.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hey it’s me. You asked me to call you as soon as I arrived,” Delphine says a bit nervously.

 

“Oh you’re here! Awesome, tell me where you’re staying so I can stop by and chat a bit,” Cosima replies with enthusiasm.

 

“Uh…” Delphine scratches her head “it’s late Cosima and I’m really tired. Why don’t you stay with your sisters, you’re having that family gathering anyways right? Tomorrow I promise I’ll call and we can meet.”

 

“But I want to see you!” Cosima argues sensing something is not right “are you OK? Is everything alright?”

 

“Yeah I’m fine it’s just… I’m tired that’s all. I just need some rest.” Delphine knows what’s really bothering her and she’s starting to get uncomfortable. It’s guilt.

 

Cosima is about to call bullshit and ask for an explanation when something occurs to her; a horrible thought that she wishes is only part of her insecurities and vast imagination. “Did you sleep with Jennifer?” she blurts out.

 

Delphine snaps her head up in surprise _‘how the hell did she…’_ she’s left speechless.

 

“You slept with her didn’t you?” Cosima demands once again with anger.

 

“I…”

 

“Oh wow holy shit!” Cosima laughs bitterly. “That’s why you were in such a rush for me to leave the base; you wanted to have your farewell fuck didn’t you??!”

 

“Cosima it’s not like that!” Delphine tries to explain.

 

“Oh yeah! Care to tell me what it is then?” Cosima challenges but immediately changes her mind. “You know what? Forget it. I don’t wanna know shit. I hope her pussy was worth it?” Saying that she hangs up, leaving behind the ‘tolerant’ Cosima.

 

“Fuck!” Delphine throws her head back in frustration. She knew this was going to be the outcome, she knew she had a lot of work to do to fix it; but for now she doesn’t want to think about it. She enters the store, buys a six pack of beer and a bottle of whiskey, willing at least for tonight to forget about the non-break up with her non-girlfriend and about the shit that she is expecting when she meets Cosima.

 

….

 

The following night, Cosima leaves the science workshop she has been attending, still pissed off. She stops for a second to deliberate whether to go out for a drink with Felix or have a chill evening with Siobhan and Sarah when she suddenly looks up to find the cause of her distress some distance away.

 

“Hi” Delphine waves shyly as she approaches.

 

Cosima’s jaw opens at the vision of Delphine looking almost like the Delphine she first met. She is wearing jeans, a big black jacket, boots, white scarf and a cute white beanie she never imagined Delphine would ever wear in her life. She barely has any make-up on but she still manages to look gorgeous. Cosima for a second wants to jump into her arms, but with a shake of her head, she comes back to reality. She doesn’t greet Delphine back, instead she gives her a once over.

 

“Oh,” Delphine looks down at herself “this is all Elise’s, even the boots” she chuckles “lots in common.”

 

Cosima doesn’t seem amused by the comment. She glares at her and passes by her.

 

Delphine follows her, “Cosima wait. We should talk, c’mon please let’s talk.”

 

The brunette ignores her and keeps on walking.

 

“I’m sorry!” Delphine exclaims surprising herself, but it finally got Cosima’s attention, who abruptly stops and turns around.

 

If looks could kill Delphine was pretty sure she would be dead by now.

 

“You’re sorry?” Cosima scoffs. “What exactly are you sorry for?  Screwing with her? For wanting me out of your way so you could do it freely?”

 

It is then Delphine realizes she isn't really sure exactly why she is sorry. Apparently she is taking too long to reply because Cosima clenches her jaw and is about to continue on her way when Delphine begins to speak. “Remember when you asked me if I had feelings for her?” The question lingers in the air as she looks down.

 

Cosima feels a shiver running down her spine; her mind is going a mile a minute. She swallows; her heart is beating fast. She nods weakly, wanting to know what Delphine has to say, even if it breaks her heart.

 

After a few agonizing seconds Delphine continues. “The answer is no.” She lifts her head, searching for the brunette’s eyes “not romantic ones at least,” Delphine complements.

 

Air leaves Cosima’s lungs in a loud exhale.

 

“But I could have. I was about to, maybe” Delphine responds honestly. “But how can you fill a heart that is already occupied?”

 

She hates that it appears as a consolation. Cosima glances to the side to avoid looking at her, while deciding whether to kiss Delphine or slap her across the face. But even though it sounds nice and sincere she still needs to know something. “Did you even consider what you were about to do?” She faces Delphine again. “Did you really think about me waiting here for you and how much you would hurt me if you fucked her?”

 

Delphine sighs slowly while staring at Cosima; a hurtful memory surfaced deep within her mind. She can’t contain it any longer. “And how about you? Did you think the same about me while you were sleeping with Shay?”

 

There it was; the topic that both of them had been avoiding since the day they reunited.

 

Cosima’s face fell, completely taken aback by the question.

 

She had been purposely evading making any direct comments concerning the subject. Delphine was aware that it was still a sore subject for Cosima; but if they were going to include their own individual emotional reactions into the discussion, she may as well share the one thing that truly hurt her regarding their relationship.

 

At the lack of a response from the brunette, Delphine continues. “I know I broke up with you and it was unfair to do so without a proper explanation and maybe having a discussion on the future of our relationship. At that time I thought I was making the right call to protect you and your sisters; now I know I acted rashly and for that I am truly sorry. But in your case you were the one who made the choice to be with Shay, maybe you felt lonely or you wanted to rub it in my face, I don’t know; but it was something you decided to do. I didn’t have that luxury Cosima; it was imposed upon me to become Elise with no notice or preparation. Then I was shoved into Jennifer’s arms to test a theory. Yeah, what happened next was up to me but what else was I supposed to do? I…” She runs a hand through her hair, hesitantly “I got lonely too” Delphine confesses in a low voice.

 

Silence passes between them.

 

Cosima is the first to speak. “You’re - you’re right. I’m sorry.” She clears her throat in an attempt to stop the trembling in her voice. “We both did things that hurt the other out of despair or anger. I don't have the right to judge your decisions or what you did because well, we both had our reasons; right or wrong they were our personal choices and we both have gone through a lot and…” She closes her eyes fighting the remains of her anger. “We should be focusing on finding a way to move past that and making this work.”

 

“Yeah” Delphine breathes a sigh of relief “lets do that.”

 

“But first uh…” Cosima lifts a hand “we better take a little break just to… let the weirdness dissipate.” She suggests leaning to the side.

 

“Oh OK right sure…”

 

‘ _And wait for the feeling of her body to vanish from your mind and that image to leave mine.’_ Cosima thinks this but never verbalizes it. She comes with a plan instead, “how about you come by and pick me up on Friday? We can go for coffee or something and see how it goes.”

 

This makes Delphine feel a lot calmer “sounds great.”

 

“OK then, I’ll see you on Friday,” and with that Cosima walks straight to the bus stop. She knows if she looks back, she would never let go.

 

…

 

Friday arrived soon enough. As expected, Delphine was waiting for Cosima outside the science workshop.

 

Both, in a better mood, smiled timidly upon seeing each other.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hi.”

 

“Um there’s a good coffee shop nearby,” Cosima points nervously in the direction they are supposed to go.

 

“After you.” Delphine chivalrously moves to the side to let Cosima lead the way.

 

Among the coffee and sandwiches, they took the opportunity to keep the conversation light and catch up on their whereabouts. It felt informal and comfortable, just what they both needed at the time.

 

Later Delphine took Cosima back to Mrs. S house, where Cosima was staying at the moment. They stood facing each other near the place.

 

“This was nice.” Cosima comments and she really means it.

 

“Yeah it was.” Delphine glances down for a second before saying “so I was thinking how about if we go out like on Monday or something?”

 

“Go out like… on a date?” Cosima beams with a brow lifted.

 

Delphine chuckles, while a light blush tints her cheeks “yes a date; a proper date if you must. I mean you did say you wanted to start from scratch and we never really did this so…”

 

The brunette studies her, still smiling until she finally replies, “on one condition.”

 

The blonde looks at her expectantly.

 

“The second date is on me.”

 

….

 

Cosima steps out of Felix's loft, only to find her date waiting for her “wow punctual, I like you already” she smirks admiring Delphine’s choice of clothing that consisted of a form fitting black blazer, dark blue pants and a white tank top.

 

“I aim to please” Delphine replies flirtatiously, also enjoying the view of Cosima in a tight blue dress “shall we?” She comments before she gets too distracted.

 

“Where are you taking us?” Cosima asks curiously as they begin walking.

 

“You’ll see.”

 

The date did not disappoint.

 

Delphine made reservations at a small and elegant restaurant, where they flirted pretty much the whole evening. Later they walked downtown holding hands and generally enjoying each other’s company. When Delphine and Cosima got back to Felix’s place, the brunette made Delphine an offer.

 

“Do you wanna come up with me? Felix is gonna be out all night, maybe we can have a glass or two of wine… chat a bit?” She shrugs nonchalantly.

 

The blonde sighs trying to conceal a smile. “I’d love to but we know what’s gonna happen as soon as we cross the threshold.”

 

Cosima chortles with an expression that says ‘you got me.’ “Is that a bad thing?” She asks with a low voice, rubbing her thumb over Delphine’s hand.

 

“No it’s not.” Delphine grasps Cosima’s other hand too, while locking eyes with her, “it’s just that…” she struggles to find the right words to express herself.

 

“Oh.” Cosima begins to understand what the blonde is trying to say, “You-you don’t think we are ready” she states disappointedly.

 

“Well” Delphine replies “Actually, I don’t think I’m ready.”

 

“Right, right.” Cosima rushes to assure Delphine as not to make her feel bad “we were supposed to take it slowly duh!” she chuckles awkwardly.

 

Delphine nods rapidly.

 

“OK then!” Cosima changes the subject “so how about if we focus on our next date instead?”

 

“Good! What do you have in mind?” Delphine questions invading Cosima’s personal space.

 

“You’ll see.” Cosima sticks her tongue out mischievously.

 

Cosima looks so adorable, so free, so content right then and there; like Delphine hasn’t seen her in a long time, that she can’t resist it. She leans in to capture the brunette’s lips in a tender kiss.

 

Cosima is taken by surprise but only for a second. She reciprocates the kiss and deepens it just enough to savor it.

 

When they broke off the kiss, they leaned their foreheads together still dazed.

 

“Wow” Cosima is breathless.

 

“Yeah…” Delphine inhales, her senses invaded by Cosima’s scent. “I had a great time tonight.”

 

“Ditto.”

 

“I can’t wait for our next date.”

 

“It will be soon I promise.” After saying this Cosima stands on her toes to connect their lips once again in a kiss just as soft and intense as the previous one.

 

Delphine is the first one to separate. “OK,” she slowly pulls away. “I think if I don’t go now I never will.”

 

Cosima crackles “ugh that was my master plan.”

 

They both giggle contently.

 

“See you soon.” Delphine kisses Cosima’s hand as she lets go of it.

 

“Bye,” Cosima manages enthralled by Delphine’s retreating figure. She cocks her head to the side noticing how ‘militarish’ Delphine still appears. _‘Will she change at some point?’_ She questions herself but then shrugs, _‘whatever, I can totally get used to it’_ When the object of her affection is out of sight she turns and marches into Felix's loft, skipping  around like a happy little girl.

 

…

 

The text message had said: dress chic but casual. That is how Delphine found herself wearing black loose pants and a white blouse with comfortable shoes as she waits for Cosima.

 

The brunette appears not long after, in another one of her killer dresses. She swings her hips as she approaches.

 

“Hi” Cosima greets seductively.

 

“Uh um…” Delphine just stares at her dumbfounded.

  
  
Obtaining the desired effect Cosima smirks, bringing Delphine down for a kiss. She has to refrain from using her tongue as she doesn’t want a make out session in the middle of the street. “Hmm,” she pulls away slowly “ready to go?”

 

“Uh huh,” Delphine shakes her head a little “and where is it that we are going?”

 

“Well,” the playfulness in Cosima comes back “first we are having some take out and we will eat it anywhere.”

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah, like choosing a light meal and having it wherever the wind takes us!” She shrugs sticking her tongue out.

 

“OK,” Delphine chuckles “what else?”

 

….

 

“Dancing?!” Delphine exclaims standing in front of the club that Cosima has taken her to.

 

“Yup, dancing.” Cosima bounces in place “that’s something else we never really did so… c’mon. It’ll be fun.” She pulls Delphine through the entrance.

 

Delphine rolls her eyes letting herself be dragged inside.

 

And it was fun. Really, really fun.

 

Delphine knew how good a dancer Cosima was – she had video proof even- but Cosima had no idea about Delphine. When she actually saw her on the dance floor she was flabbergasted. The way the blonde swayed her hips, twirling to the music, seducing Cosima was definitely a new experience for both of them. Cosima recovered quickly from her stupor and matched the sexy moves with her own. She turned around and ground her body against Delphine’s causing the blonde to hold her tight against her. They danced, they laughed, and they roamed their hands over each other’s contours resulting in an erotic private party that lasted hours.

 

Around 3 AM Cosima and Delphine stumbled out of the club, giggling and pushing each other playfully. They had walked a few meters away when suddenly Delphine pulls at Cosima's arm, guiding them both into an alley. There, she pushes the brunette against a wall and kisses her hard. Cosima groans into the unexpected kiss, the contained passion finding its release as she kisses back with the same intensity, this time allowing her tongue some entry. Delphine, feeling the welcomed intrusion, supports herself on the wall behind Cosima’s head, resisting the urge to grab Cosima like she did inside the club. Cosima for her part can’t help running her hand through the blonde locks to prologue the sweet torture. After a while their heavy make out session came to a reluctant end as they both were in need of oxygen.

 

“Delphine” Cosima starts, panting “I don’t want to put pressure on you or anything but you’re not helping with this ‘going slow’ thingy and…” She gulps “I’m gonna need a new wrist if we continue this way.”

 

Delphine throws her head back with a grunt imagining Cosima touching herself. “I know my love and I’m sorry.” She replies still out of breath “I’m not exactly quiet myself.”

 

Cosima opens her eyes and then whimpers leaning her head on the wall. “Thank you very much for the visuals,” she sighs defeated. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to wait.” And Cosima doesn’t mean it as a complaint, she just wants to be honest.

 

“Don’t worry baby, I have a solution for that.”

 

“You do?” Cosima sounds far too excited.

 

“Yes!” Delphine smirks lazily. “How about a weekend in Montreal away from everybody… just the two of us?”

 

“Holy watershed! That-that’s sounds amazing!” Cosima can’t mask her enthusiasm for the idea.

 

“Good, it’s a date then.” Delphine bites her lip.

 

Cosima grins naughtily before commenting “So, we are doing the whole ‘third date’s the charm’ huh?”

 

“What can I say; I’m a very traditional woman.” Delphine shrugs making Cosima laugh out loud.

 

“Alright let’s get going, my hot gentlewoman.” Cosima leans forward giving Delphine a peck in the lips. She starts to walk out of the alley but the blonde refuses to let go of her hand.

 

“Cosima?”

 

“hmm?”

 

Delphine moves closer to Cosima, grabs her other hand and asks in a solemn tone, “Will you be my girlfriend?”

 

Cosima’s heart flutters at the sweet question; a sudden blush rushes onto her face. She takes a few seconds to compose herself before replying with a shy smile. “Yes, I’d love to be your girlfriend.”

 

With a similar shy smile Delphine takes Cosima’s face with both hands and plants another kiss filled with emotion onto Cosima's tender lips.

 

Contented and grinning from ear to ear they hold hands as they go on their way to find Delphine’s car.

 

Both already dreaming about the amazing weekend ahead of them.

 

 


	16. Anew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK I know I took too much time to post and I apologize for that but it was a tough one and I just really wanted to give you guys the finale you all deserve; I really hope to fulfill your expectations. I wanna thank all of you who took the time to read and comment, (that’s always a great encouragement for fic writers) the silent readers and specially to OKImafan, Vivian, CJ and Thetravelingkid and of course my awesome beta Roxy50 for being with me in this journey since the beginning, supporting me and annoying the hell out of me lol I want you to know it really meant a lot to me. Now I leave you to it wishing to “see you” again in my future Cophine fics. Hasta la vista, babies!

 

 

 

Holding onto her backpack, Cosima runs to the parked car that just arrived in front of Felix's loft.   She opens the door and climbs in and turns immediately to face the driver “hi”.

 

“Punctual! I like you already” Delphine teases as she leans in to properly greet her girlfriend.

 

Cosima kisses Delphine back with a smile on her face.  When she sits back the first thing she notices is a beautiful rose in front of her. 

 

“For my girl” Delphine offers sweetly.

 

“Oh my!” Cosima reaches for it with a big grin on her face. “Aren’t we romantic Miss Co…”

 

Delphine lifts a brow.

 

“…te?” Cosima adds correcting it in time.

 

“Yeah” Delphine nods in silent approval. “You’re gonna find out I can be a very romantic woman when I have the proper stimuli”, she winks before rearranging herself in the seat and driving away.

 

…

 

It was a pleasant drive to Montreal; both of them talking about important and not so important matters, making brief stops to eat, taking silly pictures and most of all just being a normal couple.  By the time they arrived at their destination it was already sunset. Delphine drove through a conservation area which immediately caught Cosima’s attention. Delphine finally parked the car in front of a luxurious cabin.

 

“Wow!” Cosima steps out of the car admiring the exterior of the huge cabin “this is so freaking cool dude!”

 

“I know right?” Delphine gets out of the vehicle and goes to the trunk of the car to retrieve something. While she is busy, she continues speaking “but I think you should take a look on the other side” she points her finger in the direction she wants Cosima to focus on.

 

“Holy watershed!” Cosima takes in the marvelous view of the lake that she didn’t notice before.

 

Delphine laughs, now holding onto a basket, appreciating the surroundings. “C’mon lets get closer to the water.” She extends her free hand.

 

“Aren’t we going in?” Cosima asks holding Delphine’s hand and signaling toward the cabin with her head.

 

“hmm” Delphine smirks “eager much?”

 

Cosima smiles and blushes “can you blame me?” she shrugs, playing it cool.

 

“Oh, I promise you…” Delphine brings Cosima closer to her “there will be plenty of time for us to get to know the cabin well.” She leaves a kiss on the side of Cosima’s lips.

 

A shiver of anticipation runs along Cosima’s spine as she lets herself be guided to the lake.

 

Having chosen a spot, Delphine places the basket down on the grass and takes out various items, setting up a picnic area.

 

Cosima observes her somewhat enthralled.

 

“OK”, Delphine stands up when she’s done “wait a sec.” She runs to the cabin, coming back a minute later with another basket, this time carrying delicious eatables; and continuing with the preparations.

 

“Shit Delphine …” Cosima attempts to verbalize the beautiful setting her girlfriend just prepared: the typical picnic tablecloth accompanied with white napkins; elegant plates carrying cheese and crackers, ham and olives, a bowl of fruit and for the final touch a bottle of the finest wine.

 

“Yeah” Delphine comments feeling very proud of herself “come sit” she pats the ground next to her. Once the brunette is settled, Delphine pours the wine and hands a glass to Cosima.

 

“To us” Cosima lifts her glass.

 

“To us” Delphine repeats lifting her glass and clicking it against Cosima’s.

 

They exchange lingering looks as they sip the wine.

 

“So this is your master plan? Enchant me with a romantic outdoor date and get me drunk so you can have your way with me?” Cosima jokes after finishing her drink.

 

“God, no!” Delphine feigned offense as she poured more wine for the both of them. “No need for romantic settings or alcoholic facilitators; I can do this all by myself” she sneers, while she does a show out of sipping her wine.

 

Cosima chuckles as she finds it incredibly attractive how confident and seductive Delphine has become. She wonders if it is an acquired ‘Elise perk’ or one of the many things she didn’t know about Delphine. She makes a mental note to find out about it later.

 

After almost 2 hours of flirting and feeding each other; Delphine looks at her cellphone before speaking. “Hey, I have a surprise for you” she laces her fingers with Cosima’s.

 

“Oh yeah? Cosima leans closer “what is it?”

 

“Just wait and see.”

 

No more than 10 seconds later an explosion of light catches Cosima off guard making her gasp; followed by many other explosions of brilliant light illuminating the sky with bright colors.

 

Cosima is mesmerized by the show.

 

Delphine, having gotten the reaction she wanted, kisses Cosima’s cheek then directs her attention back to the fireworks.

 

When the display ended, Cosima was completely blown away. “Wow Delphine that was amazing.”

 

“Glad you liked it” Delphine smiles and kisses Cosima’s hand. “Now how about we get inside so we can have another kind of amazing fireworks?” She wiggles her eyebrows with an ample smile.

 

The offer sounds like music to Cosima’s ears; she gulps, her body already reacting to the possibilities. Cosima would’ve laughed or said something witty but she knows her voice will tremble if she attempts to speak, so she only nods nervously. 

 

Delphine leads Cosima to the door “Come in my lady.” She carefully opens it allowing the brunette to enter first.

 

If the romantic picnic and fireworks weren’t enough, now Cosima is faced with a cabin that looks like it was taken out of a catalogue: stylish furniture, a rustic fire place and lights so dim they could easily be mistaken as candles. It was perfect.

 

“I…this is… I don’t know what to say” by the umpteenth time this day she is stunned.

 

“Then don’t say anything and just enjoy it” Delphine presses a button on her cellphone and suddenly the cabin is surrounded by lounge music “Dance with me” she requests offering her hand.

 

Cosima takes the hand offered to her and together they go to the center of the room. She puts her hands around Delphine’s neck while the blonde holds onto her hips as they start swaying to the gentle rhythm. Soon they lose themselves in the comfort of their embrace.

 

After some time has gone by Delphine leans in capturing Cosima’s lips onto her own. It doesn’t take long for it to develop into a passionate make out session. When hands become too adventurous Cosima can’t take it anymore. She pulls away breathlessly staring into Delphine’s eyes before letting out “take me to bed.”

 

Delphine doesn’t need to be told twice. She silently leads them upstairs to the bedroom. When they reach their destination Delphine grabs Cosima’s face with both hands and kisses her deeply; pushing her backwards in the process. But when Cosima’s calves hit the bed, she could feel her tense up; so Delphine stopped kissing her and  leaned back to stare at Cosima’s face “are you OK?”

 

“Yeah just…” Cosima sits at the end of the bed breathing hard.

 

“What’s wrong” Delphine asks with a concerned voice as she crouches in front of Cosima and rubs her knees.

 

“Nothing I…” a little more composed Cosima tries to explain “it’s just that…” She chuckles at her own silliness. Finally Cosima shakes her head, clears her throat and replies “It’s been a while.”

 

At the confession Delphine offers a sly smile, now understanding Cosima’s hesitation. “OK” she murmurs squeezing Cosima’s knees reassuringly “stay right there,” saying that Delphine stands up and takes a few steps back. Never taking her eyes away from Cosima she starts undressing painfully slow.

 

Cosima swallows unable to look at anything else than the woman in front of her. She observes with rapt attention how each item on Delphine’s body falls to the ground until she’s completely bare.  “Oh fuck” it’s the only thing Cosima manages to say.

 

Delphine moves closer, standing in front of Cosima, waiting; almost challenging her to touch her. 

 

It was so easy that Cosima didn’t really resist much. She reached her hand out and caressed-softly at first-at the abs that possessed her mind since the moment she saw them. Cosima relishes in the way Delphine’s muscles jump at the contact; that gives her the encouragement to touch her more, firmly this time with both hands.

 

The blonde closes her eyes letting Cosima move at her own pace but also enjoying the attention.

 

 It’s still unbelievable for Cosima to accept this taut body belongs to Delphine: the defined firm abs, the strong muscular arms, the broad shoulders. Yet, her skin is soft just like she remembers, accompanied by new scars, but just as warm and tender as before. She lets her hands roam around everything that was within her reach until she envelopes silky breasts, groaning at the feeling of hard pink nipples.

 

Letting out a moan of her own, Delphine decides to regain control of the situation before she loses herself in the sweetness of Cosima’s strokes. She puts her own hands on Cosima’s,  dragging them down deliberately, as to let the brunette sense her body one final time before placing them at Cosima’s sides. “Let me” she whispers as she crouches again, this time aiming to remove Cosima’s clothes.

 

In some sort of trance, Cosima allows Delphine to get rid of her garments without any objection, even facilitating the process by moving and lifting her body. It is not until she feels Delphine slightly pushing her shoulders that she comes back to the present.

 

“Lay down.”

 

The voice commands with such determination and affection that Cosima has no other choice than to obey. She removes her glasses and closes her eyes to regain some composure but the sudden movement of the mattress makes her feel tense again.

 

 “Let me take care of you.”

 

After hearing those words Cosima is only aware of the heat from Delphine’s body on top of her, leaving her breathless.

 

Delphine on the other hand has to struggle with her own breathing at skin on skin contact. Even if she didn’t want to she couldn’t help comparing Cosima to Jennifer.  Yes, sex with Jennifer had been good, but it was only related to the mere physical need in the chase for pleasure and release; nothing at all different from being with a man. But just  by barely grazing Cosima’s skin, Delphine is slowly losing her mind because with her it was not only something physical, it is much deeper, a connection, an out of body experience; like coming home. “Oh baby” she lets out pressing her weight onto Cosima. 

 

Cosima’s hands immediately surround Delphine’s back. Her intention is to grope Delphine’s body and familiarize herself again with the curves of the blonde but instead she’s hypnotized by the hazel eyes that are currently staring at her intently.

 

For a few moments the blonde holds the gaze, suddenly recalling the past year and how all of it incredulously led to this moment, to Cosima… finally. “I love you” the words leave her lips without intending to. She doesn’t wait for a reply; she just leans down and kisses Cosima with all her being.

 

Cosima had dreamed about having Delphine in her arms for a long time now, had even planned the things she would do and how she would make Delphine crazy but the realization this is actually happening  overcomes her; leaving her completely at Delphine’s mercy.

 

Delphine repositions between Cosima’s legs and begins her exploration. She starts by running her hands over Cosima’s shoulders and goes down little by little, being careful not to grab anything yet just letting her palms slide around to get reacquainted with the body she has missed. When Cosima sighs and twists she knows it’s time for more so she moves down and gets a hold of one of Cosima’s feet. Looking up at the face of her lover, Delphine starts placing soft kisses along the brunette’s toes and gradually getting higher. She takes her time kissing along Cosima’s leg and then the other; progressing up to the stomach and the chest until she had kissed almost every single bit of skin on the clone’s body. 

 

For her part Cosima-besides being in seventh heaven- is just thankful that Delphine has omitted one particular spot on her anatomy. She knows that as soon as the blonde as much as caresses the area she will be a goner. 

 

“Look at me.”

 

Again, the sensual voice of Delphine brings her back to earth with a sweet demand. She doesn’t hesitate as she locks eyes with Delphine’s. And just as she was reading the emotions Delphine was trying to convey in those hazel pools; the sudden intrusion of a hand between her legs makes her forget everything she has in mind. “Oh G-” Cosima attempts to verbalize but instead a grunt is the only sound she emits. Her back arks as Delphine’s finger rubs her opening which is more than ready thanks to the previous ministrations. She wants to put her hand over Delphine’s to stop her and prolong the inevitable but it’s too late; the waves of pleasure are already taking over her body in a powerful and unexpected orgasm.

 

“My love” Delphine lets out relieved, pecking Cosima’s cheeks and jaw in a gesture of pure affection.

 

After that Cosima has no recollection of anything else other than pleasure and orgasms. She really lost count on how many times she came by Delphine’s fingers, tongue and skin; everything is a blur, a blissful blur.

 

A long while later Cosima is laying on the mattress completely spent trying to catch her breath; a task proven to be difficult since Delphine is currently sucking on her neck and fondling her breast.

 

“gimme a second I… ” Cosima utters distracted “I just have to... ugh… but I promise I’m gonna…” she can’t even finish her thought due to the exertion.

 

In the meantime a very aroused Delphine continues her delicious attack.

 

Cosima’s breath evens as she calms down, her eyelids feeling heavy “Oh no... please no” she whines realizing she's too exhausted to continue. She’s very well aware Delphine is beyond turned on by now, if the way she’s touching her is any indication. She was supposed to reciprocate the wonderful attention but she finds herself barely conscious “Delphine I…”

 

“shhh”

 

“But I really wanted…”

 

“It’s OK” Delphine whispers with a wavering voice. She straddles one of Cosima’s thighs moaning as she settles “I won’t take long.”

 

“Oh my…” Cosima murmurs feeling the warm wetness of Delphine spread on her thigh. Then she feels her hand being placed on Delphine’s breast.

 

“Just… a little bit” Delphine encourages, moving her hand over Cosima’s on her own breast and beginning to ride her lover’s leg.

 

“My god why…” Cosima laments rubbing her thumb over Delphine’s nipple as firmly as she can.

 

Delphine’s cries of pleasure fills the room this time.

 

The last thing Cosima witnesses before falling into a deep slumber, is the delightful view of Delphine climaxing.

 

…

 

The next morning Cosima awakens to the feeling that someone is watching her. Rapidly everything comes back to her and she smiles without opening her eyes.

 

“Morning beautiful” Delphine, propped on one elbow, greets her girlfriend tenderly.

 

It is not until Cosima opens her eyes and sees Delphine’s smirk that she remembers her horrible – or lack of – performance.

 

“Oh fuck” Cosima’s face reddens as she hides her face in the pillow.

 

“What?” Delphine asks nuzzling her nose in Cosima’s hair.

 

“Last night… me… that was embarrassing” Cosima comments, her voice muffled.

 

“Oh honey” Delphine chuckles and kisses Cosima’s head. “It’s very common, it happens to every girl” she adds teasingly.

 

Cosima grunts mortified covering her face with her arm.

 

Delphine laughs out loud removing the arm and showering Cosima’s face with little kisses.

 

Soon Cosima surrenders looking back at her girl joining in the laughter.

 

Minutes later they are both cuddling in complete calm enjoying each other’s warmth.

 

“So…” Cosima begins tentatively, her fingers tracing Delphine’s abs “should I get one thank you card only for Jennifer or is there someone else I need to thank too?”

 

At this Delphine arks a brow, her expression turning serious “woah” she searches Cosima’s face before asking “was I really that bad in the past?”

 

“What? No, no” Cosima hurries to explain, sitting up “you weren’t bad at all! It’s just that you… and now…”

 

“Hey, hey baby; I know don’t worry” Delphine interrupts an agitated Cosima “I was joking” seeing Cosima still troubled, she sits up properly and adds “I was aware of my limitations back then, no harm done” she shrugs  “but I’m also very aware of my skills now.”

 

Cosima smiles bashfully at Delphine.

 

“You’re so cute” Delphine leans in to peck Cosima’s lips

 

There’s a brief moment of silence where Cosima stares at Delphine expectantly.

 

The confusion only lasts a few seconds as it dawns on Delphine what Cosima is waiting for. “Seriously?” She rolls her eyes but ultimately responds “yeah Cosima, Jennifer is the only woman I’ve ever been with besides you” she finalizes somewhat annoyed.

 

“OK” Cosima pretends not to seem as relieved as she really is. She knows Delphine can read her though so she quickly changes the topic. “I guess now it’s my turn to put my rusty skills to use” saying that she pushes Delphine back down.

 

And it works, Delphine completely forgets about the subject for the subsequent hours.

 

…

 

“Uh… you sure you don’t need help with that?” Cosima asks from her side in the little boat as Delphine rows them about in the lake.

 

“Yeah, pretty sure” Delphine lets go of the paddles “I think I can handle it by myself with these.” She shows off her muscles on her arms to Cosima proudly. 

 

“Holy watershed” Cosima whispers to herself gulping. Seconds later she exclaims “paddle back to the deck, paddle back now!”

 

….

 

“OH MY GOD, OH YES! RIGHT THERE, RIGHT THERE DON’T STOP!” Delphine screams desperately sprawled over the table, naked.

 

Cosima, in a similar state of nakedness, has her face bobbing between Delphine’s legs. Hearing the desperate pleas, she smirks smugly as she detaches from the lips with a loud pop.

 

“COSIMA, WHAT THE”

 

“Shhh…” Cosima puts her hands on Delphine’s thighs “Tell me one thing” She scratches the skin as her fingers move down leisurely “Has anybody made you feel this way?” She lets a single finger slide over Delphine’s wetness.

 

““ugh”

 

 “Has anybody driven you as crazy as I do?” Her finger nears Delphine’s entrance “Has anybody fucked you the way I do?” Saying that she inserts the finger deep inside.

 

“Oh God!”

 

“C’mon answer me” Cosima commands leaning down until her cheek is grazing Delphine’s stomach “does anybody love you like I love you?” Cosima utters removing her finger at an excruciating slow pace.  

 

“No, no!” Delphine can’t take it anymore “only you!”

 

“That’s right only me. And you know why?” Now Cosima inserts two fingers in one swift move, making Delphine jump and gasp “cause you’re mine! You hear me? Say it! I want to hear you say it!”

 

Almost at the verge of losing it Delphine manages in a crooked and raspy cry “I’m yours baby! I’m only yours forever!”

 

“That a girl” obtaining the answer she was looking for, Cosima gets on her knees and continues eating out her woman eagerly.

 

….

 

Later that night, already in bed; Delphine moves slowly on top of Cosima, holding the brunettes hands above her head, fingers interlaced. They both pant feeling the warm skin and hot breath of the other.

 

Cosima, with barely opened eyes, gazes into Delphine’s eyes feeling utterly happy at the fact she can now recognize the love of her life in them. “I love you…I love you so much.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

….

 

A brand new day greets Cosima with the sunlight illuminating the bedroom. She stretches out while still laying on her stomach, but stops abruptly as pain suddenly runs through her entire body “ow, ow, ow” Cosima complains as she carefully sits on one side of the bed. She chuckles though as she remembers the reason for this particular ache. _‘Fucking worth it.’_

It is then Cosima notices Delphine is not around. She stands up, puts on her bathrobe and walks downstairs. To her relief she finds the blonde near the living room doing push-ups.

 

She’s clad only in a tank top and panties; her muscles are flexing every time she goes up and down. Sweat is dripping down her body; she seems focused on her task.

 

Cosima’s body reacts immediately at the visual stimuli. At that moment she doesn’t care if she can’t walk for the next two weeks, there’s only one thing she cares about and she goes for it.

 

Sensing she is being observed Delphine looks up, an instant smile making its appearance on her face. “Hey” she greets while standing up and removing her earphones. “Sorry for leaving you alone in bed, I just went for a quick run and some exercising before you woke up.” She laughs a little embarrassed “bad habits die hard I suppose.” The way Cosima is watching her sends instant chills down her spine, the hunger in her stare is evident. Delphine waits for her next move.

 

Soon enough Cosima is suddenly standing next to Delphine. She grabs the blonde by her tank top and pulls Delphine toward her.

 

“Uh um Cosima I-I need to take a shower, I’m…”

 

“Oh no, no; you’re not doing that” Cosima removes her bathrobe and lets it fall to the ground “you look just fine like this.”

 

Delphine decides right there and then she will do her best to maintain her trim body if that will always ensure the same response from her lover. 

 

...

 

Cosima is forcefully pushed against the counter by Delphine. The blonde turns her around and bents her over so her stomach is flat on the surface of the counter.

 

“I've been dreaming about doing this to you for quite some time” Delphine whispers in Cosima’s ear, her voice laced with lust. She then grabs the silicon appendage from between her legs, aligns it at the desired destination and without farther ado she shoves it inside Cosima. 

 

Moments like this is when they are grateful they are in a cabin in the middle of the woods. 

 

…

 

With only a few hours before they have to go back to Toronto, Delphine and Cosima lay on the carpet in front of the fire place; exhausted but happy. They are on their sides facing each other, legs intertwined; caressing their faces, lost in the eyes of the other.

 

Suddenly Cosima’s curiosity wins over their comfortable silence. “How did you manage to get this place ready before we arrived? I mean you were with me the whole week, unless you flew here overnight and came back to me the next day?”

 

“Oh” Delphine chuckles willing to satisfy her woman’s innate interest. “I did some research on this exact location; I wanted it to be perfect.” She grins recalling the exhilaration and expectations while looking for the appropriate place for their reconnection. “I also rented the place and took care of the details but I got some help for that.”

 

The puzzled look lasts only seconds as Cosima connects the dots “oh right, right” she giggles knowingly. “I see you know how to put into good use all of your resources huh?”

 

“Well if life gives you soldiers, make an army” it’s the amused response the blonde gives accompanied with a shrug.

 

Shaking her head the brunette smiles, but something else comes to mind making her expression grow serious. She debates with the thought but finally decides she wants to know this one thing.

 

 “Babe?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Now that we left all that mess behind us and we are getting back to normal, have you considered admitting that you are actually Delphine?”

 

The question hits Delphine with intensity evoking a memory that will be forever engraved in her mind and soul.

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

_In what seemed like an eternity Elise and Delphine break apart from their emotional embrace, both teary eyed._

_Glancing at her clone with affection, Elise asks “Will you do something for me?”_

_“Anything!” Delphine replies with fervor not giving a second thought._

_Elise smiles already expecting this response but happy either way to have witnessed. She holds one of Delphine’s hands with both of hers and expresses her request pointedly. “Take my name and gimme a life. Gimme an unforgettable love story, gimme a family.” Her grip intensifies as she continues “you see, all my life was dedicated to the mission, I was created for this very purpose; a simple copy of you to hopefully be useful someday. But just like Cosima and her sisters that didn’t make me any less human. I still had the same dreams as everybody else, you know? Having a relationship, having a family; I wish I could’ve had that life but I just didn’t have the time.” Elise’s eyes gleam with new formed tears “but now you can give that to me.” She beams hopefully “after you fucking destroy Neolution, which I know you will, you take your woman, you make her happy and build a new life for yourself… and for me.” She gulps a sob, her voice cracking “would you do that … for us?”_

_Chocking back her own tears, Delphine finds the voice to answer with conviction. “Of course I would, I will.” She puts her other hand on top on Elise’s. “I promise you Elise, no matter how long it takes or how much, I will.”_

_Elise sighs contently “thank you” she kisses Delphine’s hand sweetly before letting go. She offers one last smile as Delphine steps out of the vehicle._

_Delphine stands next to the door not taking her eyes away from Elise, who moved to the driver’s seat._

_Already settled Elise turns to the side meeting her clone’s glance. She then smirks voicing with complicity “Bon chance, soeur” saying that she winks and drives away, leaving a devastated Delphine in the middle of the road._

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 “No” the monosyllable leaves her lips without any contemplation “Delphine Cormier is dead and buried in France and that’s the way it will remain” her tone is final. 

 

“But what about your parents or my sisters?”

 

At the mention of her parents Delphine’s jaw clenches unable to conceal her resentment like she would’ve done in the past. Being Elise forced her to get the contained anger inside of her out so she could actually portray her clone as she was: raw and tough.

 

Cosima watches Delphine’s face and how it contorts, regretting immediately even asking the question. She wants to apologize and disregard her query when Delphine speaks.

 

 “All my parents ever wanted was a successful daughter who would make them and their name proud” Delphine snorts. “I think Dr. Delphine Cormier, director of the DYAD Institute achieved just that don’t you think? As for your sisters ...” she sighs “I think they’re doing just fine without knowing; it’s better that way really, for our own safety.”

 

“Oh” comes the disappointed reply of Cosima.

 

Not liking how Cosima is reacting and having to consider how difficult it must be for her to hide her identity she speaks. “Cosima” she puts a hand on top of the brunette’s. “I swear to you if at some point I feel it’s absolutely necessary for them to know, I will tell them myself OK?”

 

With an exhale of resignation Cosima takes what she’s given. “OK.”

 

Delphine kisses her head .“Now let’s worry about how are we gonna do this.”

 

“Right.” Cosima switches to concerned mood “and how are you feeling?”

 

“I’m coping” Delphine answers sincerely “I’m getting better at controlling this duality. No episodes for weeks, no IED… I think I’m going in the right direction”

 

“Good and I’ll be here for you, whatever happens.”

 

“I know” Delphine leans her forehead against Cosima, reassured. She’s confident that along with her love they will overcome whatever difficulty that comes their way.

 

…

**Minnesota two years later**

 

Cosima and Delphine giggle holding hands as they walk through the hallways of the University of Minnesota.

 

“So Dr. Niehaus,” Delphine teases slightly pushing Cosima with her shoulder “where would you like to eat to celebrate your achievement?” 

 

Cosima turns briefly to acknowledge her girl’s teasing with her characteristic cheeky smile but immediately focuses her attention back to somewhere else. “There!” Cosima exclaims pulling Delphine by her hand to go faster.

 

They round one corner and stop in the middle of one specific hallway.

 

“Do you remember this place?” Cosima smirks wiggling her eyebrows.

 

Delphine looks around. She grins seconds later with recognition “Oh wow this is where we first talked right?”

 

“Yup” Cosima bounces on her heels “I just thought that with all the lies and the shitty start we had, we could maybe create another memory here in the same place and bury the rest in the past.”

 

“Start anew you mean?”

 

“Exactly!” Cosima replies enthusiastically “so what do you say?”

 

“I say…” Delphine leans against the wall “that if I remember correctly you were the one who started the conversation.”

 

Cosima beams delighted; she then takes a step back, clears her throat and begins “Hey hi!”

 

“Oh hi” Delphine replies getting into character.

 

“Sorry to interrupt but I just saw you here and I don’t know, I felt like I had to talk to you” Cosima states making eye contact.

 

For a second there, Delphine really drifted into the memory of the first time they met and how incredibly enchanted she had been with Cosima. After all this time she still can’t understand how Cosima can attract her like a magnet with the silliest words or the simplest things; just being her carefree self. Realizing she was supposed to be reacting somehow Delphine displays a confused expression for effect.

 

“I’m Cosima by the way” The brunette extends her hand.

 

“Elise” Delphine takes the hand and shakes it firmly.

 

Even though they are far too familiar with the other they can’t help the electricity that runs through their spines at the contact or the butterflies in their stomachs. Pleasantly surprised and overjoyed they start laughing without making any attempt in disconnecting their joined hands.

 

Completely caught up in the moment and finding it undeniably perfect Cosima voices a thought that has been roaming her mind for a while now “Marry me.”

 

Delphine’s eyes pop wide open with shock.

 

Cosima, aware of what she just let slip- but never regretting- begins her nervous rambling “I uh… since I already got my PhD and we are pretty much settled I thought that maybe we could … that I should…” She moves her hands swaying in place “do you get what I mean?” 

 

“Yes” Delphine lets out softly.

 

Cosima sighs relieved “So you get me.”

 

“No, I mean; yes I will marry you.”

 

“Wha…” Cosima stares at her dumbfounded, feeling her head is going to explode “you -you want to marry me?”

 

Delphine chuckles out of nervousness and replies “yes, yes!”

 

“Oh my God.” Cosima covers her mouth with both her hands as her eyes beginning to water.

 

Not able to contain her emotions Delphine takes a step forward and wraps Cosima in her arms.

 

They embrace for a while letting out tears of joy.

 

“Oh shit” Cosima leans back a few minutes later. “I don’t have a ring! I should’ve gotten a ring” she laments mortified, scratching the back of her head.

 

“Hmm” Delphine bites her lip as she retrieves an item from her pocket “something like this?” she comments handing  Cosima a small velvet box.

 

“Dude what the…” Cosima opens the box only to see a beautiful engagement ring with DNA design. She can’t say anything else; she just glances at Delphine for an explanation.

 

“I was going to propose to you, tonight” Delphine admits, her voice cracking a bit “but as usual you were one step ahead of me.”

 

“Oh baby!” Cosima launches again to hug her woman for dear life. “I stole your thunder.”

 

“You stole my thunder” Delphine mumbles into Cosima’s shoulder. 

 

Both laugh amongst tears while holding onto each other

 

“But you can still propose!” Cosima leans back offering a solution.

 

“What? Are you serious?” Delphine asks with a curious smile.

 

“Yeah! You got the ring so you may as well go for it, c’mon!” Cosima gives Delphine the little box.

 

“Alright, alright!” Delphine giggles taking the ring out and holding it in her fingers. She then takes a deep breath, a phrase coming to her subconsciously.

 

‘ _Gimme an unforgettable love story’_

Encouraged by the voice of her clone, Delphine pops the question “Cosima Niehaus, will you marry me?”

 

With her ever present cheeky grin Cosima answers “Yes, I will marry you… Elise Cote”

 

Delphine gasps, her heart bursting with emotion; feeling like the promise to her sister has been validated by the lips of her love-their love. Containing herself Delphine grabs Cosima’s left hand and proceeds to place the ring on the brunette’s finger. 

 

“Wow” Cosima lets out in awe admiring the jewelry.

 

They remained silent as they processed the moment, each of them recalling what they’ve gone through individually.

 

“Thank you, thank you” Cosima finally declares taking Delphine’s face in both her hands “you came back for me baby.”

 

“And you waited for me” Delphine mutters “even when you thought I was dead there was something inside of you telling you to wait for me and you did. I love you so much.”

 

“I love you.”

 

They share a tender kiss that not only conveys their feelings and emotions; but also works as a promise of sacrifice and eternal love.

 

“Please, don’t ever leave me again.”

 

“Never.”

 

And they know for sure this promise will never be broken. They will face their new life together, until the end of their existence.

 

 FIN

 


End file.
